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Sunday, September 18, 2011

Mysteries Revealed

Heyyyy Allllllllllllll

I am back with my 30th blog. Before I start I need to say something about Indian cricket team. 4 Tests, 1 T20 and 3 ODIs??? Naseer Hussain called you a donkey and you guys felt insulted, someday ask me and I will give you a better name for donkey.

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Now onto the topic, now we have had some pretty amazing mysteries over the years among which there are Aliens, Bermuda Triangle, Lochness monster, Big foot, Mary celeste and many many more but there are some mysteries in the world which have not been given much exposure and people don't know about them much. My blog today will be revealing those mysteries so grab onto your seats.

1. BOY'S WRITING THEIR PHONE NUMBERS IN MALE BATHROOMS

I am a student and frequently travel in and out of city so I use bathrooms all around and well this is one thing that is beyond me. Why do boys write their own mobile numbers at the back of the doors of male toilets with accompanied messages such as "All girls contact me" or "call me for all girls" . First of all they bring a pen inside the bathroom and furthermore they don't have their brain cells working that no girl will ever enter and see those mobile numbers so why bother writing that and neither will a boy go in, read your number and give your number to the first girl passing by. Sheesh people


2. GIRLS TAKING PICTURES IN BATHROOMS



Keeping the privacy so blacking out the faces of girls but you get the general idea. Majority of display pictures of girls on different social networking sites and in many other places are taken inside a bathroom. A bathroom? Seriously of all places in the world, a bathroom? They would go on an event like a marriage to a five star hotel and end up taking their picture in the bathrooms.



What is soooooo attractive about this bathroom that girls are bound to take pictures here. Showing off their mobile phones and camera is also another thing they can achieve through this. I mean keeping in the mind the real objective of using a bathroom and comparing it to the girl's use. Nuff Said


3. USING SUN GLASSES AT NIGHT




The pictures explain it all, the word is basically "SUN glasses" get it? get it? Try and understand the part where the glasses are related with "sun" meaning these things are supposed to be used during day time when the sun is out and is making it difficult for you to see but not at night when it is already enough dark. I am not being racist but the above two pictures explain enough that come on dumbos at least know what you are wearing.


4. PINDI BOYS





Pindi boys are a huge mystery which people are yet to learn about. They have many attributes that people have never understood of which the following are very famous
1. Driving a Mehran (It has no AC) in June and July with its windows closed
2. Wearing sun glasses when there is no sun
3. Why pindi boys buy clothes which are not bought anywhere else in the world
4. Ride on bikes on 12th Rabbi-ul-Awal
Confused? These creatures are confusing



5. SPEAKING ENGLISH IS OBLIGATORY?


As Humaima would say in Bol "AGAR ENGLISH NAHIN AATI TAU BOLTAY KYUN HO?" meaning "If you don't know english then why speak it?" This is a major problem especially in Pakistan and India. People are going after english like it is obligatory. We are not proud of our own language and are trying to impress other people so we use a language that we don't properly know and not just ruin our own language but ruin english as well. Urdu and Hindi both are languages which are historically amazing languages and of which we should be proud of and not be basically ashamed of speaking in Urdu or Hindi. By that we can avoid the english that has a "s" at the end of every word. "I amx verys prouds of the boysx" All our cricketers try and speak english and make a fool out of themselves while look at Sri Lankan spinner "Mendis" who doesn't know a word of english and talks in his own language and is respected. If we don't respect our own language then how will we get respected?


6. WHO IS THE BROTHER AMONG SAHIR LODHI AND SHAISTA WAHIDI


Maybe Shaista Wahidi is because I am pretty sure it can't be Sahir Lodhi. Well its pretty confusing because this brother and sister duo have done everything opposite to their respective gender. Sahir lodhi talks, walks, sits and dresses like a girl while Shaista talks, laughs and dresses more like a man. The main fight in Sahir Lodhi's wedding was the people never understood that his "Baraat" came or went? :P


7. WOMEN'S SHOPPING


Women might be a mystery themselves because nothing about them is still clear to anyone and there would be just SO MUCH to ponder but one thing always bugs me is that if women are going out and have not a single penny in their purse then when they go into a shop why do they shuffle all the shop upside down.




BEFORE


AFTER

They don't have to buy anything because they know they don't have a single penny with them but they will still see every single item in that shop. WHY OH WHY??


NOW LETS GET DOWN TO SOME SERIOUS MYSTERIES



8. WHY DO PEOPLE PICNIC/DATE IN FAISAL MASJID?


Faisal Masjid is one of the most beautiful places ever with great fountains, amazing architecture, great ambience inside and outside the masjid BUT its a MASJID. Islamabadis on the other hand have turned it into a picnic point. You will often see families upon families packing their food and coming to eat in Faisal masjid. You will also see girl and boys actually dating inside and outside the masjid which is basically the limit of stupidness and blank headedness that you can ever imagine. Taking pictures around the masjid like it is a picnic spot while it is written everywhere that "PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT ALLOWED" but still people do it. Mystery?? Stupidity?? You decide


9. WHY PAY TO DRINK MINERAL WATER IF YOU HAVE FREE PURIFIED WATER?



Another mystery that today brings to us is why we are so spoiled that even to drink water we will spend 20 rs on a mineral water bottle than clean or even purified water. Alright in some situations where at homes we don't get clean water then mineral water can and should be used but when you have clean and purified water perfectly available for free then buying water is just insane. Buying mineral water to make sure you don't get dehydrated in the middle of January is just an excuse these Mummy Daddy use to drink mineral water. People around us don't have clean free water to drink and we are so spoiled that we will buy mineral water for high prices.


10. ONLY LOVE PAKISTAN ON 14TH AUGUST?


This is the most serious mystery for me and I have discussed this in one of my previous blogs as well http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2011/08/revolution-inquilaab-misconceptions.html but I still can't get no answer to how people just get love for Pakistan for just one day among 365 days. "I LOVE YOU PAKISTAN" is repeated again and again, youth changes their display pictures on facebook and twitter to Pakistani flags and all talks are about bringing a change in Pakistan but once the clock strikes 12 and people go to sleep the next day they wake up with amnesia or like they were drunk for the last day and have come back to their senses. This is the only reason why we are facing all these problems, if we would love our country for one full year then mark my words, we will actually see a change. 

Thatx it from this time 

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Till Next Time
X Y'All

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Worst Movies EVER


Hey Allllllllllllllllllll


Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls I am back with another one of my blogs. The response to my blogs has been simply amazing, am at 1 Lakh + views and going at the moment thanks to all of you. Please also show your support by liking this page!

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Since I have always been telling people to do good and avoid wrong in different ways this time I consider this my duty to warn each of my readers from the time they can waste watching some movies which , hmmmmm how should I put this in a soft way. Well those movies that SUCK and are a complete waste of time. Now these 10 are among those which I have watched (except one) forced or willingly and am not picking this list from any website. So lets begin with

P.S: This countdown is not in order, all of these movies are supposed to be avoided


10. Gujjar and Rajnikaanth Movies





Mode Of Viewing: FORCED

First thing is first, if you are planning to watch a Gujjar movie a.k.a punjabi Shaan Movie or a Rajnikaanth movie then STOP RIGHT THERE. I have watched a quiet a few of these thanks to Niazi bus service. I dread those times when these movies were played on high speakers in Niazi. Their main story the hero falls in love with the heroin who is ALWAYS the daughter of the villain of the movie. The villain sends hundreds of his men to take care of the hero but one hero may it be Shaan or Rajnikaanth can kill 5 people with just a simple punch, can shoot bullets with their own hands if their gun gets wasted and can shoot around hundreds of bullets from a 9 bullet revolver. They are like the daddies of Super man being a normal man and they can also stop bullets from their chest.

Read this for more, by the way if not then just watch the two videos in this one and then I won't need to say anything more " http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2010/09/letter-to-indianmarathitamil-film.html "



9. Son Of The Mask



Mode Of Viewing: Willing

In this position first I thought of putting Harry Potter and the half blood prince because it was a pretty bad movie which missing A LOT from the book BUT then I remembered this movie and Harry Potter 6 was just EPIC in front of this movie. Creating a sequel to a Jim Carrey movie without Jim Carrey is just enough to describe how sucked up this movie was. Nothing funny, nothing adventurous, NO action and just basically nothing at ALL.



8. The Hurt Locker



Mode Of Viewing: Willing

Alright this movie was pretty much hyped that this movie was amazing and I think it won A LOT of oscars as well so I watched it and after this movie ended I was wayyyyyyy more surprised at how this movie managed to bag that many oscars than I was when Slumdog Millionaire won 8 oscars. No story, no effects, no acting and it was all about a guy waking up and going to dispose of a bomb. Yes it maybe real but the film SUCKED.


7. Muhabbatan Sachiyan




Mode Of Viewing: FORCED

Another thanks to the Niazi bus service that I had to watch this movie. Again the same copied love story, worse acting and pretty stupid songs especially in one the girl is singing that she is in love and can't sleep while the boy actually says that he is sleepy and asks the girl what's her plan. STUPID?? Then in the final fight scene Veena malik is pushed by the villain and she actually rolls over a complete bridge like it was tilted and I don't need any other reason than this that VEENA MALIK is in this movie. The biggest disgrace to Pakistan



6. X-Men 3 : The Last Stand



Mode Of Viewing: Willing

After this movie I thought X-Men had lost my respect but they basically brought some amazing movies after this Origins: Wolverine and X-men 1st class was amazing but this movie was just downright stupid. So much happening and still nothing ever made sense and this super hero flick beats pretty stupid super hero movies like Hulk, Green Lantern & all Super Man movies to enter this list.

5. Tere Bin Laden



Mode Of Viewing: Willing

When this movie ended my face expression were literally like " :-S " , not the curve on that expression. Yes it was THAT big. I personally think that give me 10 times less money than they had and I can make a better movie than this. The acting of Ali Zafar was absolutely stupid and it was like he was taking revenge from the director so that he can make his movie a major flop and BINGO his plan worked. His acting was AWFUL and so was the story.




4. Ghajini




Mode Of Viewing: Willing

Now this movie enters the list because this movie is just a simple insult to Christopher Nolan's master piece that was the Memento. Memento was just a perfect movie with everything right and this movie was the complete opposite. It took huge amounts of gamma radiation for Eric Bana to become the Hulk BUT for Amir Khan it only took a hit to the head. Loosing memory is fine but how in the hell did he become the HULK? So much muscles? So much pure power and all because his girl friend was killed and he was hit in the head. If that is not enough then this guy actually had the time to note and make a complete map of the city and take pictures of everything which even a normal person can't do and he knows. He forgets everything when he sleeps and remembers when he takes of his shirt in the morning and then starts destroying his house and then all of a sudden he knows where to put what because when he lost his memory he was genius enough to label everything in his house. 


3. Watchmen



Mode Of Viewing: Willing

A Super Hero Movie?
An Action Movie?
A Comedy Movie?
A Romantic Movie?
A Suspense Thriller?
Horror??

WHAT WAS THIS?? What I could extract out of this movie was that it was about a bunch of people who wore pretty weird and colorful clothes and a blue guy. They were supposed to be super heroes by the theme of the movie but they never were found saving the earth instead in the end one of them actually bombed the whole world down and killed millions & billions of people so that they can start all over again?? Really now?? The other super heroes try and resist for a very small time but then give up in the end and combine with the other guy and kill the only one who rejects their idea. It takes pretty huge amounts of an effort to make a movie THIS STUPID


2. Dabangg


Mode Of Viewing: FORCED

The final thanks to the Niazi bus service and I HATE THEM FOR THIS. I had to see this movie twice and once this movie ended the conductor would play its video songs over and over and over again. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Terrible movie, terrible acting, terrible action, terrible dialogues, terrible songs, terrible story and terrible just pure torture. I still don't know how this movie got such a great response and won sooooo many awards beating "3 Idiots" this just shows the amount of illiteracy in Pakistan and Indian people. A literate person will never watch this movie and if you liked this movie and call yourself literate. My friend its about time you reconsider



1. The Twlight Series






Vampires get burned in the SUN and he is enjoying it?


Mode Of Viewing: NEVER Watched WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO

YES Homer, I can feel your pain even though I haven't watched any of this movie. The basic concept of this movie is wrong. First thing is first so stephnie myers let me tell you VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE. One of my friends told me that the real Dracula didn't even took a bath and had hair on his hands and this vampire actually sparkles?? DAMN , I mean sesame street actually managed to make a better vampire than this who was dark and could count too.



What's next Stephnie myers a versace dress wearing zombie?? or a glittering frankenstien?? or worse a Gucci sunglasses wearing Cyclops?? Stop ruining the good stuff people. JUST STOP


That's It For This Time

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X Y'All