Football Fans : The Stereotypes

Heyyyyyyy Alllllllllll

First things first , Ramazan Mubarak to all of my muslim readers :) may ALLAH shower blessings upon you and your family in this Holy Month.

Now onto the topic, first of all why am I writing this blog. I would've never written this blog to be honest if Barcelona hadn't lost in a friendly to Manchester United. I agree that Manchester United was the better team that day without giving any excuses and Manchester United fans were trying to prove that they are better than Barcelona by beating Barcelona in a friendly without Xavi, Messi, Alves, Puyol, Pique or Mascherano and comparing that to the Champions League Final?? I Mean seriously?? So I decided to describe some fans of some teams and some other types. Now if somebody fights with me after this than he/she knows it that this is the truth and he/she can't handle it.

1. Barcelona Fans

I am talking about the real Barcelona fans the other types come in later. The real Barcelona fans who are not supporting Barca only in CL finals but are also there for Barcelona during the Copa Del Ray losses. Who were there for Barcelona when there were no trophies to boast about. These Barcelona fans are very few, very few indeed. Barcelona & Europe maybe filled with real Barcelona fans but in Asian or African countries like Pakistan, India, China, Egypt and others they are very few. A true Cule will always support his team in thick and thin and most important for a true Cule is the element of respect. A true Cule can be recognized by being the bigger person and accepting the loss without giving excuses and giving respect to the other team which it deserves. Some examples can be the standing ovation Barcelona fans gave to their biggest rivals Madrid or the respect they gave to Van Der Saar after his final match in CL even after winning BUT there is a downside as well because once you are a Cule every other team just looks boring to you. A Cule will NEVER accept the other team is better until unless that team beats Barcelona in a fair match. A real Cule will always have the following traits

1. He/She would consider diving as wrong (May it be one of our own player)

2. He/She would not consider Messi being greater than Barcelona

3. He/She would not forget Johan Cruyff and his services at Barcelona at any point

4. He/She would be a Real Madrid hater without taking respect from some Madrid legends

2. Real Madrid Fans

Again talking about the REAL Madrid fans, to be honest these are some great fans although being fans of my rival team, the REAL madridstas are sportsmen and have the spirit. They hate diving and even boo their own players if they dive and that is why I LOVE when Madrid fans boo Ronaldo when he dives. So as to much that he now mostly dives in away matches :P . Madrid has wayyyyyyyyy more fans in Spain than Barcelona as they are the nationalists. I have nothing but respect for the REAL Real madrid fans, one is even a very good friend of mine. (Other type coming later)

3. Manchester United Fans

Oh Yes lets finally get down to business, now Manchester united has A LOT of fans throughout the world. By A LOT I mean A LOT. When I had to chose a football club then all I heard were Real Madrid and Manchester United fans. Now there are two types of Manchester United fans

A) Manchester United Fans

These are the REAL fans and they are annoying. Manchester united is a great team without a doubt and play good football and I have nothing but respect for Sir Alex Ferguson, Van Der Saar, Scholes & Giggs but these fans are not the greatest. They don't know ANYTHING except that we are right. Manchester United is never wrong according to them even if they loose humiliatingly to a team they will NEVER accept that other team was better and they can make A LOT of excuses. This just comes natural to them and they can fight with you hours without giving sane arguments and never accept that they are wrong. They are a major pain

B) Man U Fans

Now for this part read the upper part and multiply it with 10. These fans are 10 times annoying, 10 times stupid and 10 times fake. These are not real fans and are just following the line "glory glory Man United". I met some Man U fans who didn't even knew that Neville used to be the captain of United, they all said Rio Ferdinand was the captain *head desks* They have no knowledge what so ever and they can give some pretty stupid arguments and sometimes even go against there own team player's views

4. Arsenal Fans

These are the poor needy people of the fan world of club football. They are frustrated, they are desperate and they are hungry BUT if you ask someone in 2009-2010-2011 that which club's fan are you? and he/she replies Arsenal then rest assured that he/she is a true football fan. They have not betrayed their club for whatever times they are going through and always follow this club no matter what and according to me Arsenal is one of those very few very good teams which don't have A LOT of fake fans. I always don't get along with Arsenal fans but the truth has to be accepted and they are football lovers BUT they are also frustrated and poor and they really really need to win a trophy sometimes I think they are like the Amy Winehouse of football fans, frustrated, drunk and needs love but lets hope it doesnt end the same way and they learn something from amy's incident but I have one request to all Arsenal fans

5. Liverpool Fans

The best fans award goes to the Liverpool fans. They have seen the heights with Liverpool and they have seen the low with Liverpool and they will NEVER betray this club what so ever. "You will never walk alone" is their way of expressing love for their club and they always follow it. Liverpool might not be the best team at the moment but according to me they have the best fans atm. Sportsman spirit is complete in them, they accept their defeat like men and they love football. Perfect

6. Glory Hunters

2002 - 2006 --> Real Madrid

2006 - 2009 --> Manchester United

2009 - 2011 --> Barcelona

These are the times when the respective teams earned huge success and had all star players now this is the time when Glory hunters come in which are always there to become a fan of the team which is having the best seasons and winning trophies so all they have to do is support a team through its thick and leave that team once its reaches its thin. These days its Barcelona, everywhere you go Barcelona shirts and all and they don't know a thing about Barcelona, when the match will take place, when and how they won in the season. They know that they won :P and thats all that matters to them. Pakistan and India are filled with these glory hunters and they also play a huge part in giving the other football fans a bad name. These people can rant all day stupid and a lot of other stuff.

7. Individual Fans

You are not a madrista

Now this is very important, remember if you love Lionel Messi it is NOT necessary that it makes you a Barcelona fan as well. You will just remain a messi fan , If you changed your club from Manchester United to Real madrid because Cristiano Ronaldo changed his club then neither you were a manchester united fan and nor have you become a madrid fan now, you will always just be a Shittiano Ro-Naa-Laado fan. Great players always have these and these people try and link themselves with the club as well. Sorry people you are neither Culeans, Gunners, Madristas, Red Devil or anything. You are just that player's fan. Majority footballers in Pakistan fall in either this or the above category and they give a bad name to the Real fans of that team.

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X Y'All

Pakistani Media : Destroying Pakistan

Heyyyyyyyyy Alllllllllll

I sincerely apologize for my last blog :P It was one of my worst pieces ever but I was sick and when you are sick you can turn some very good ideas into stupid ones :P

Well this time am gonna take it out on the media, I have been trying to control myself on this issue for a long long time but now enough is enough.

Now let me begin and tell their bad points one by one

1. PRO - INDIAN

GEO , Express, Dunya and others might be Pakistani news/entertainment channels but all we get to hear in the news is about Indian film industry. Yes we might not have a film industry of our own but that DOES NOT mean in any case that we start behaving like their slaves. I mean if Emraan Hashmi just reached Pune for the promotion of his next film what does that have to do with us? WHY in the hell is that news in our head lines?? GOD FORBID Is Emraan Hashmi our next President? Or GOD FORBID Is he the solution to our problems? NO, then why the hell does his film promotion get into our HEADLINES? Our news channels have made a mockery out of the importance of headlines and for one thing I don't understand the connection between GEO and Salman Khan's film "Dabanng". Its like GEO's father has invested money in that movie otherwise there is absolutely no reason for GEO to promote that movie that much. EVERY bloody time all I hear on GEO

1. Dabanng 2 shooting will start then
2. Dabanng claims awards here
3. Dabanng claims awards there
4. Munni ki badnaami chal gayi
5. Dabanng this
6. Dabanng that
7. Munni this
8. Sheila that

& if these stupid meaningless news weren't enough for the most stupidest movie ever than they actually played that movie for FATHER's day. FOR GOD's sake GEO people get a life. A movie that has an item song called "Munni Badnaam huwi" was played for Father's day. What a gift for all the father's aint it? Talking about vulgar songs GEO and other channels will not leave a single , repeating not even a single opppurtunity to show a glimpse of the video of Sheila ki Jawani or Munni badnaam. These videos are absolutely explicit and vulgar and while Pakistani media should be the one to completely ban these videos in Pakistan because of our culture and religion but it is the Pakistani media which is promoting it the most. Any mention of Katrina, Farah Khan, Malaika or the movies and they will surely show the videos of these songs. Is this Pakistani?

All we get to watch on Pakistani channels now are Indian films, Indian awards ceremonies, Indian dramas and Indian showbiz news. Every anchor and showbiz person is sooo Pro Indian especially that female Sahir lodhi who thinks he is Pakistan's Shahrukh khan and many others like on Samaa TV comes a crazy lady called Mayaa Khan, she is aboslutely pro indian she actually not just liked and defended what Veena Malik did in India and said that she did not disgrace Pakistan but she also support that Mathira and supports her on doing the bold (in other words vulgar) show at VIBE TV and supports her on wearing short clothes. Well last time I checked this country was still called the "Islamic Republic of Pakistan" but I think our media has forgotten that.

SHAMEFUL
ABOSLUTELY SHAMEFUL


2. STUPID NEWS

If our headlines being filled with Indian showbiz news wasn't stupid enough , now our headlines contains videos from youtube. Yes am not joking, our HEADLINES contain funny/amazing videos that our news channels pick from youtube and then show it in details. Is this a joke? Are you people kidding me??

3. UNCERTAIN NEWS
Now if our news do contain some Pakistani news like for example a bomb blast just occured now the real fun starts, the news channels will start a race to see who gives out the news first hand to the people. If they win then they will brag about it for a week, now I ask is giving out the news of a bomb blast first is anything to brag about? Are you not humans that you become sad? No no no, our channels would better yet try and brag about them becoming the first to report the incident and in this race what they do is that they give out wrong information. One channel will be reporting different number of casualities which will be different for second channel and which will be different for third channel, just like take an example of recent Karachi killings while one channel said around 36 died one day, other was saying 40 died and other was saying some other number now these 4-5 number difference might not matter to us but have you people ever imagined how much this number matters to all those who are sitting at home waiting for any sort of news from their loved ones who are out there where the incident took place?? Do you know how they would feel when every casuality increases or decreases?? Ever thought you news people?? NO , you would better give it out first rather than giving out the truth after confirming at the very end.

Pakistani media was given freedom to give us the truth but our media has made it into a race and competition and don't care to give out the truth.

4. TALK SHOWS

Now I ask a question "What is the single , just one good point of conducting these talk shows?" Does it make politicians change their views?? Does it make them accept their mistakes?? Does it make them apologize to the public?? Does it make them to work for the public and finish their problems?? Does it in ANY WAY contribute to find solutions for the problems to a common man? ? The answer to all above questions is "NO".
Why do we watch talk shows? We watch talk shows to watch a good fight or two because all these talk shows do is talk about obvious problems and instead of finding solutions they successfully exceed those problems. The politicians come there, they fight over an obvious problem and don't look for a solution and the problem stands where it was. That is what talk shows do and then these fights are aired around the world now just imagine what kind of an image that leaves of Pakistan in the hearts of foreigners? Will this image be good for our Pakistani brothers and sisters living outside? Of course not BUT our news channels will not see that, they only care about their TV channel's viewership rather than helping Pakistan and they call themselves Pakistan lovers. All I have to say is "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"


5. BIASED

YES , you heard me. All TV Channels, anchors & news casters are biased. They have already based in their minds who they have to blame, they don't care about Pakistan. They don't care about Pakistan and they certainly don't care about telling the truth. They only care about earning some money and they are biased. How? Remember the Rangers incident killing that boy in Karachi? Well one of our anchors was the brother of DG rangers and that "Pakistan loving" anchor didn't even conduct a single show regarding this event. Being biased has been linked with exposing government's corruption. Now I am in no wayyy supporting this government but these are two very different things. Nobody has a problem with exposing the government if it is corrupt but being biased has some other dimensions

1. They don't pay attention to the IDP situation in Balochistan
2. They give extraordinary more time to a phone call by a political party leader from london
3. They don't investigate into how a respected person like Hakeem Saeed was killed
4. They play a negative reel one night before the NA-55 elections against Sheikh Rasheed


These points and many more like

1. Morning shows
2. Being anti-Pakistan
3. Never showing all the news like Pakistani media never showed us the reality in Bahrain, how people are going from Pakistan to kill Bahraini people. To get more information on Bahrain issue read this " http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2011/07/bahrain-real-story.html " MUST READ

Our media would rather show the video of Katrina Kaif dancing half naked than show muslims being killed by our very own Raymond Davis being sent to Bahrain.

I challenge any media personnel from the Taliban supporting Hamid Mir to the job changing Shahid Masood to the properly make up and properly dressed in very expensive clothes but very sad for the nation Mehar Bukhari. I challenge any media personnel to have a debate with me on live TV on this issue.

I agree that Media is one of the most strongest weapon and it can be used to bring revolution, an example can be the long march, without the help of the media it couldn't have been possible but our media would rather promote indian movies than a revolution

These people are not Pakistani , this media is not Pakistani. What they are , they are a shame & disgrace

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X Y'All

Lollywood : Behind The Scenes

Heyyyyy Alllllllll

Today am going to tell you guys a little story on my approximately 50 minutes of Lollywood career.

Shocked??

Yes people I have been to Lollywood and to tell you its a very very dark place. DARK INDEED

Everybody was talking about the decline in the cinema and all and people told me to write something for the cinema so I did. I Sohaib Mansoor was gonna take over the Cinema after taking out Shoaib Mansoor. Didn't looked nice to put a guy with the same name as my elder brother out of work but well all is fair in love & war.

So I wrote a patriotic story and got ready to make it all but I needed actors so to pick fresh new actors I launched an audition for new talent to come and prove their talent.

Now begins the darkest 50 minutes of my life and am stating much in dialogues

Me: Send in the first one

First person enters

Me (looking down at some papers) : So your name?

Contestant 1: Kkkkkkkkirrraaann

Me: Kiran you have such a manly voice

Contestant 1: Don ko pakarna mushkil hi nahin, naa mumkin hai

Me (Quickly turning my head from papers) : Shahrukh Khan? OMG Its such an honor

Contestant 1: Ahahahahahahahahahaha (Shahrukh Khan Style)

Me: I didn't knew I would have to end the auditions just after they started I mean.......

I was stopped by my assistant and he said to me

Assistant: Yeh China waala Shahrukh Khan hai

Me: Get Lost That's Sahir Lodhi Man

Contestant 1: Somebody said my name?

Me: So its not Shahrukh khan but his franchise in Pakistan?

Sahir: Ahahahahahahahahahaha (Shahrukh Khan Style)

Me: Stop it you are killing me, so what brings you here?

Sahir: Goooooooood morninggggg, how are you? am fine , so tell me please how are you? tell me tell me tell me, my phone lines are open , you can call or sms your answer to 111-111-103 and you can....

Me (Stopping him): Woah woah woah, Its a film audition not your FM show

Sahir: Somebody is feeling a little down so lets go towards our first track from Shahrukh Khan's movie this song never gets old for me, you want to know a little story?

Me: STOP IT & SHUT UP

Sahir stops and lowers head

Me: Love the silence , well you want to apply for which role?

Sahir keeps silent

Me: I think now would be a good time to speak

Sahir keeps silent

Me: For GOD's sake man speak already

Sahir starts crying

Sahir: Nobody has talked to me soo rudely in my entire life

Me: Welcome to the real world bob

Sahir: But you are soooooo mean

Me: Alright dude am sorry now calm down and tell me which role?

Sahir stops crying then

Sahir: O khayi key paan banaras waala, khul jaaye band aqal ka taala oh phir tau aisa karay kamaal

Me: GET OUT , GET OUT, GUARDS THROW THIS CHINA's SHAHRUKH KHAN OUT OF HERE

Guards throw him out

Me: Thank GOD thatx over

I took a five minute break and then said

Me: Send in the next one

Shaan enters

Shaan: OYYYEEEEEEEEE

Me: YES I CAN HEAR YOU

Shaan: I was just acting so how was it?

Me: Dude you know its a patriotic movie don't you?

Shaan: Tau kya iska naam Pakistani Gujjar nahin?

Me: For your disappointment it aint

Shaan: OYE TEY MAIN ISS FILM WICH KI ROLE KARAAN?

Me: Tum iss film main hogey hi nahin tau role kya karo gey? GET OUT

Shaan: OYEEE Main teriyan nasaan phan deyaan gaan

I take my gun out

Shaan: Bhai main tau mazaaq kar raha tha, abb bhai key saath mazaaq bhi naa karun? Main jaa raha hun

Me: Sheesh, NEXT

Contestant 2: May I andar aaun?

I raise my eyes and as I saw her enter I quickly brought my eyes down

Meera: Hello

Me: Hey, didn't thought I would you meet you here

Meera: Kya? Tum mujhay nahin maar saktay

Me: HUH? Main aisa kyun karun gaa

Meera: You said you would meet me here meaning tum mera gosht banao gey idher

Me: *head desks*

Me: It means mujhay nahin pata tha key tum idher mil jaao gi

Meera: Oh tau you naa english main told karna tha, I samajh english only

Me: Oh-kay, so what is your wish for this film?

Meera: Oh Gods abb main kya kya speakun? Woh kya ghaalib uncle said key "Thousands of desires aisi key each desires par breath out"

Me: What? Oh do you mean 'Hazaaron Khawahishain aisi key har khawahish par dam niklay?"

Meera: Yes yes, now you see how much english comes to me

Me: Ermmmm yea , I can see that

Meera: So when aaun for movie?

Me: Yeah about that, iss sey pehlay key main tumhain bataun kuch khaao gi?

Meera: Nahin main abhi curd khaa kar aayi hun

Me: Oh acha dahi?

Meera: Haan haan wohi dahin

Me: Its dahi

Meera: Haan naa dahin

Me: Aaaaaahhhh , dekho meera tumhain yeh role nahin milsakta

Meera: What? Why? How? Me? You? But? See? Free

Me: Woah woah, saari english aaj hi khatam karni hai, but please you cannot get this role. Thankyou

Meera: FINE me jaaying in meri centro

Me: Centro meaning? Darmiyaan main?

Meera: Meri gaari centro

Me: Its SANTRO

Meera: HUNHHHHH

Me: Good Riddance, please bring in someone sensible next

Contestant 3: May I come in?

A girl enters

Me: Sure why not

Me: So name?

Looking down at papers

Contestant 3: Veena Malik

I quickly get up take out my gun and lodge three bullets into her head

Me: clear the body and NEXT

Another girl enters

Contestant 4: Hello sir

I look up

Me: NO SAHIR , I Told you , you cannot get a role

Sahir: Pleaseeeee

Me: GUARDS

Sahir: See I can also play as the heroin

Me: Yeah that comes natural to you, your sister Shaista is more of a man than you

Shaista Enters

Shaista: Did somebody call my name?

Reema Enters behind her

Reema: Shaista line main lago, meray sey pehlay andar kaisay aagayi?

Meera enters again

Meera: How inko chance get and mujhay not?

Sahir starts dancing and singing "Sheela , Sheela ki jawaani"

Shaista, Meera & Reema start a cat fight

I was about to go mad when I heard a laugh, a laugh soooo horrifying that I couldn't even think that it was her, I had heard about this woman that just by looking at her you can become a walking Lindsay Lohan regardless that you are male or female. I ran from that place as hard as I could man. That was all that I could take of Lollywood. Those were my fifty minutes in Lollywood.

I am shivering after telling the story again

See I told you DARK , DARKNESS THROUGHOUT

Nd am ending with a picture of that "thing" that came in the end , BUT PLEASE VIEWERS , VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK

SCARY MUCH??

ENDING WITH SOME PICTURES OF OUR CHAMPIONS OF LOLLYWOOD

That is all for this time

X Y'All

BAHRAIN - THE REAL STORY

Heyy Allllllllllllll

Yes I am back but this time not with anything funny but with an extremely serious topic. I heard from people about an uprising in Bahrain, I quickly searched the internet to find some very horrifying facts how Bahrain government was trying to suppress a totally peaceful protest. The methods reminded me of Al-Qaeda once again was it their return? Will Bahrain be the next Afghanistan? Read the below facts and then if you have the slightest of heart then retweet this on Twitter, share this on Facebook, tell to people to read it and spread the news as much as you can. Raise your voice against it.

First let me introduce to you what the situation in Bahrain is

Bahrain is a Shia majority country with a 75-80% population consisting of Shias. While Bahrain government claims that they follow democracy the real situation behind the scenes is that Shia which consist of 70-80% of the population have only 18 seats in the Parliament out of 40 while the Jews which are only 70-80 in number. JUST 70-80 people have their own seat in the parliament BUT those who consist of 70-80% of the population have just 18 seats out of 40?? That's real democracy?? The current Prime Minister of Bahrain Sheikh Khaleefa Bin Salman has been in power since 43 years, yes you heard me right people 43 YEARS during this time 8 U.S Presidents have been changed during his time.

Now the Shia population of Bahrain started a peaceful protest to obtain real democracy and the removal of the prime minister, the protest as stated above was completely peaceful and to the extent that protesters gave roses to security guards, they have never carried any sort of weapons not even a stick with them as all the videos and photos clearly show and how the Bahraini government replied?? Read the following

1. Economy Collapse

Shia Community in Bahrain is not allowed to have suitable Jobs and is restricted in every way possible to take part in economic activities of the country. Especially they are not allowed in certain ministries like interior ministry, foreign ministry etc. So no Shia can join army or be a police officer.

2. Brutal Crackdowns

I am just uploading one video here so that people can get the general idea of what is happening in Bahrain

Disturbing?? Had enough??

Now multiply this by thousands because this is just one person, Bahraini government has called in support from all over which includes Saudi Arabia & Pakistan. They have made attacks on peaceful protesters, they have done brutal crackdowns at Shia homes after midnight till dawn. Sometimes even almost complete Villages were swiped in these crackdowns. They would go inside houses beat the family, beat women and children, rape them and sometimes even kill them. One public example is regarding the family of Salah Khawaja (human right activist), his house has been raided in the middle of the night, the men went in to the house started beating his wife, pulled her hair & beaten her up so badly that her ribs got broken.

Every night after 3 A.M these forces would run in Shia populated areas and ask for names anyone having a name which includes Ali, Jaffer, Raza, Hussain, Hassan e.t.c has to go through a very brutal process. They are either tortured and captured or killed at spot, because of these many Sunnis who had their names as such have also been brutally martyred or captured.

In one place this happened that many protesters made a plan to climb on their roof tops and give Azaan at 3 A.M to show their solidarity and unity through social networks. When that day came every person who came up on his roof top to gave Azaan was martyred by the snipers which were posted there by the government. They then marked those homes and then did brutal crackdowns on them.

Girls and boys are abducted from school and taken to police stations where they are beaten and tortured, hundreds of videos can be found on youtube

Bahraini government is hiring Pro-Wahabi forces from everywhere. Saudi Arabia a nation which would never send their army to help any Muslim nation such as Lebanon or Palestine but this time Saudi government send their forces and tanks to kill Muslims instead. Pakistani government has also sent many forces which are at the moment killing people there. Is this what humanity has come to? Are these Muslims? I leave this question for you to answer

3. No Hospitals For The Injured

Yes if you didn't understand from the header than understand it now. If those crackdowns, those beatings, those rapes are not bad enough then yes all the forces of Bahrain have surrounded all hospitals and has denied to help any injured and any hospital or medic that tries to help the injured is dealt with same severity as the protesters. They are severely beaten, captured and taken to jail.

This above picture shows on of the medic of Sulamaniya hospital who was trying to help the injured and what did the Bahraini forces do? They broke his neck, many doctors and medics have been released after a month of beating and torture of helping the injured.

In Bahrain even helping the injured is a crime?

Did our HOLY PROPHET (P.B.U.H) teach us this? He (P.B.U.H) taught us to be even very easy on our enemies and Bahraini government are killing and torturing Muslims and their own people?

Some western journalists have spoken about it like Chris Rock the New York Times journalist states,

“I was there with a friend of mine, & in the middle of the Manama, someone pointed a gun to my friend’s face. My friend showed his American passport & as soon as the personnel realized that the person with whom he is dealing with is an American citizen, the officer came to him & said we love Americans, we have no problem with you guys, we hate Shias & the way he was talking about shias, it was full of hatred & disgust as they are hunting down the rats.”

Now I ask EVERYONE and the Bahraini government

Is this democracy? Are you following Islam and the teachings of Islam?

4. What We Need To Do?

People don't know what is happening in Bahrain?

If you are a Shia reading this then spread the word because Shias are being killed there

If you are a Sunni reading this then spread the word because Sunnis are being killed there

If you are a Muslim reading this then spread the word because Muslims are being killed there

If you are not a Muslim but you are a human, spread this because this is not Human behavior and is against all human rights and humans are being killed there

As I said above retweet this on twitter, share this on Facebook, scrap it on Orkut, My space it, blog it, email it, text it. I don't care if you copy this blog and paste it and spread it by your name. Spread the word as ANY WAY as you can. If you read this and don't spread the word than all I can say is that you are not human.

All Pakistanis were very angry when Raymond Davis came to Pakistan and killed 3 Pakistanis now Imagine thousands of Raymond Davis have gone from Pakistan and Saudi Arabia and are killing the Bahraini residents.

You want any more material regarding this matter, you want to send email to higher authorities and have or want any email addresses or want to join me in this act of spreading the word than you can contact me on my email sohaibxtreme@gmail.com

WE NEED TO WAKE UP PEOPLE

WE NEED TO SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING

WE NEED TO RAISE OUR VOICE

WE NEED TO SAVE THOSE INNOCENT PEOPLE DEMANDING THEIR RIGHTS

WE NEED TO SAVE HUMANITY

WE NEED TO STOP THESE SAVAGE ANIMALS FROM RUINING THE NAME OF OUR HOLY RELIGION

IS THIS NOT TERRORISM?

THEN WHY DOESN'T AMERICA START A WAR AGAINST THIS?

PLEASE I BEG ALL OF YOU, READ IT AND FORWARD BY ANY WAY THAT YOU CAN

BEGGING YOU

SOHAIB

ENDING WITH PICS

Look At The Brutality

Is anybody carrying a weapon?

Is this the way to take on unarmed innocent people?

THINK ABOUT IT

If Super Heroes Were In Pakistan??

Heyyy Alllllll

FIRST THINGS FIRST , HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST TALENTED AND THE BEST FOOTBALLER IN THE HISTORY AND UNIVERSE , LIONEL ANDRES MESSI , YOU ARE JUST UNREAL :)

Yes its another one , Its been holidays but I haven't been able to write a blog amidst all the problems of my bad result, 9-5 internship. Just EXHAUSTING.

Well anyway I am back and this time I was thinking that why don't any super hero come to Pakistan or even India for that matter. Never has the man of steel tried to save a Pakistani in a terrorist attack, never has Spider man stopped any thug from looting in Karachi, Never has Batman tried to stop the most evilest villain of all times (not taking name but I think you all understand ZZZZZZ) in Pakistan. Pakistan has never had a super hero of its own and while India has made two namely Krrish and the upcoming Ra.One still none of them became a super hero in India and while Krrish decided to become a superhero in Singapore the latter Ra.One becomes a hero in U.S.A and U.K. So the question arises that if our well known Superheroes came to Pakistan what would've happened?

1. BATMAN & ROBIN

The dynamic duo which are considered to be one of the most feared Superhero team among all the villains and especially considering the fact that they are without any superpowers but what if they come to Pakistan?

Scenario 1: Fire at multiple buildings in Lahore

Batman: Robin

Robin: Yes Batman!!

Batman: Its been quite sometime since we had a problem, aint it?

Robin: Yes, they said they will ignite the bat beacon when any trouble arises

Batman: Yeah you are right, relaxxx

Over at governor's office

Governor: DAMN THIS LOAD SHEDDING , HOW DO I TURN THIS BEACON ON WITHOUT ANY ELECTRICITY??

Scenario 2: Robbers hiding in store in Liyari Karachi

Batman & Robin catch the bad guys and come back to the place where they parked the car

Batman: Robin??

Robin: Yes Batman!!

Batman: DIDN'T WE PARKED THE CAR RIGHT HERE MAN??

Robin: WHAT WE'VE BEEN ROBBED??

2. SPIDER MAN

The web swinger Spiderman one of the most famous creations of Marvel comics as he swings throughout the city taking out bad guys using his spider like abilities but what if he came to Pakistan?

Scenario: Trouble at night in Lahore Puraani Anarkali

GEO NEWS: Ladies and gentlemen we are bringing you live the scenes from a big hostage situation as some robbers have made the owner and the customers at a store hostage and are asking for some demands and till this moment there is no sign of Spider man. There is no light in this area so its very hard for the rangers to make a move inside and rescue the hostages and we still await the arrival of Spider man

After five minutes

GEO NEWS: Ladies and Gentlemen the light just came but there is still no sign of Spider man as the hostage situation worsens............ wait wait there was a blast in the vicinity and the electricity has again gone in this area we are trying to get details and will inform you as soon as we get information on the blast

After another five minutes

GEO NEWS: Ladies and Gentlemen we are very sad to bring you the news that Spider man is no more among us. He got stuck in wires here in the dark and when light came the shock was too much and the there was a blast in the transformer and Spiderman couldnt survive from the wounds.

HEADLINE : SPIDERMAN's SPIDER SENSE COULDN'T TINGLE BEFORE HE GOT TANGLED :P

3. THE INCREDIBLE HULK

The huge monster that is the Incredible Hulk, when Dr. Bruce Banner gets angry he turns into this monster that is the Hulk

Scenario 1: Pathan Patient At His Clinic

HEADLINES: MANIAC DOCTOR SQUISHED HIS PATIENT ON GETTING ANGRY, RIOTS THROUGHOUT PAKISTAN FOR CHIEF JUSTICE TO TAKE SUO MOTO ACTION AGAINST THE DOCTOR

Scenario 2: Rangers/Police gives Dr. Bruce Banner a ticket

Police: You were speeding

Bruce: I wasn't speeding officer

Police: I am going to give you a ticket for speeding and then lying to an officer

Bruce: WHAT? I didn't lie

Police: Thats two tickets for lying and one ticket for over speeding

Bruce: Don't make me angry, you wont like me when I am angry

Police: Yeah tell this to the people at Jail , cough him

Bruce starts to transform but before he can start Police man take out his gun and shoot him while he is human

Headlines: Maniac Bruce Banner dead , Heroic policeman gets Sitara-e-Shujaat

4. SUPER MAN

The man of steel who can run faster than the train and can take any sort of bullets what kind of problems will he be facing in Pakistan?

Scenario: Gas Pipe Blast In Balochistan

Tabloids Headline: Superman Perishes , was he stupid or just blonde?

Details: Superman has died after trying to be a hero one too many times, local people stopped Superman from becoming a hero and said that they will fix the pipe themselves but Superman tried to be a Hero and when he reached the place, it turns out that it was a Krypton gas reserve and since he had cleared all population from that area nobody could hear his screams as he died a painful death

5. BEN 10

The kid who has become a sensation among the kids these days who gets a watch like device called "Omnitrix" which can transform him into ten different aliens, what if he was in Pakistan

Scenario: Advertisement

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN"

BOYS AND GIRLS

CHILDREN AND ELDER

PEOPLE OF ALL AGES ARE INVITED

TO LOOK AT THE EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD

A KID WHO CAN TRANSFORM INTO TEN DIFFERENT BEINGS RIGHT BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES

DON'T BELIEVE US

BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE

COME AND HURRY UP AS OUR TOUR COMES TO YOUR CITY

"DEHLA BILLA"

LUCKY IRANI CIRCUS

Well Thats It From Me This Time

I Hope I Could Keep The Standards :P

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Classic Love Stories: The 2011 Versions

HEYYYYYYYYY

WHAT? NO? Hide your women and children , yes I am Backkkkkkkkkk. Its been ages since I wrote a blog and it was all because of my Mechanical Engineering well am almost half of that now and free these days so m back.

Now onto the topic, we know there have been many love pairs all over the world and all over in history from Romeo & Juliet in stories of Shakespeare to Heer Ranjha in our punjab of Pakistan. Since I have started blogging I have started to look at things with a different eye and that is exactly what happened in this case and I thought what if these love stories and these pairs came to the present day how will these stories reoccur. Lets begin

1. SASSI PUNNUN

Original Version: Sassi was the daughter of a washer man and Punnun was the prince of Makran. When he heard about the beauty of Sassi he came looking for her and fell in love with her. Sassi also loved her so to get her hand in marriage Punnun dressed as a washer man went to her house but her father gave him a challenge to wash clothes since he didn't knew how to he torn the clothes but Punnun gave his father money to get Sassi's hand in marriage. Punnun's brothers were against this marriage so they intoxicated him with many drinks and took him back on a camel's back to Makran but when Sassi knew about this she ran behind Punnun calling for him but she didn't found and died during a sand storm. When Punnun woke up next day he went back looking for her and also died during a sand storm.

2011 Version: A girl named Sass is the daughter of a professor at college, a boy named Paul goes to this girl's home one night and tells her that he loves her and asks her hand in marriage from her dad and acts as an assistant professor. His dad being a professor asks him stuff about study but he fails but then he tells her dad that "I am filthy rich" and the dad agrees for their marriage. When Paul tells his friends about this they are not happy and they think of intoxicating him out of this idea but when they try to do it they get to know that Paul is already 'high' and was doing all this because he was 'high'. Next day when he wakes up, he tells Sass the reality which breaks her heart and she goes off to a metal band concert with her friends to take her anger out where she meets Raja who is the lead guitarist of that band and who is also tired of his girlfriend Hira (explained below) and gets in a relationship with him.

2: SOHNI MAHIWAAL

Original Version: Maahiwal was a poet and Sohni was a potter's daughter. Maahiwal fell in love with Sohni and started writing poetry over her which created riots and Sohni was married to another man. Maahiwal became a loner and started living across the river where Sohni's new house was. Both of them used to meet at night when Maahiwal used to swim across the river to meet her and bring a fish with him to roast. One day he didn't catch a fish so he cut a part of his thigh when Sohni saw this she cried. From next day Sohni used her baked pots to swim to Maahiwal as he can't swim because of the injury. One day Sohni's relative replaces her baked pot with an unbaked pot when she catches Sohni's act. When Sohni goes to swim with that unbaked pot she drowns looking this Maahiwal also jumps and drowns with her.

2011 Version: A girl named Sonny is sent a Facebook request by a guy named Michael. She accepts it after looking at his display pictures. As time proceeds on both get interested in each other but they cant meet as they live in different countries so they start talking on Skype everyday. One day Sonny's relative looks at her talking to her boyfriend so she hacks Sonny's account and says bad stuff to Michael with it. Michael gets infuriated at this and he also hacks Sonny's account and sends love messages to different people with it including her uncles. After investigations Sonny sues Michael and her relative for cyber crime and they are sent to prison as Sonny lives her normal life.

3: ROMEO JULIET

Original Version: The classic Shakespeare story is what everybody know. Romeo falls in love with Juliet and Juliet's father hides him and puts her to sleep when Romeo finds her he thinks she is dead so he drinks poison and dies but Juliet wasn't dead and when she wakes up and sees that Romeo is dead she stabs herself with Romeo's dagger and dies

2011 Version: Romeo and Juliet meet in a party and become friends and soon their friendship turns into a relationship, when Juliet's dad gets to know about this he grounds Juliet in her aunt's house with no internet, television or mobile. Romeo goes on a search and when he finds her he contacts all media channels that a father has locked his daughter in a room. All media channels circle that aunt's house trying to ask for justice. People start breaking cars and buildings in protest to get Juliet out of her room. Romeo is invited to different talk shows with politicians who promise him justice but after sometime the media and politicians forget what happened and as time passes Juliet goes insane inside the room and Romeo gets in a relationship with a girl he met at the talk show.

4: MIRZA SAHIBAA

Original Version: Mirza and Sahibaa were playmates from childhood, they had grown up together and with time they fell in love but their families didn't wanted them to get married so they arranged Sahibaa's marriage to another man. Mirza got infuriated and climbed upon his trusty horse, he went to Sahibaa's marriage and took her from there. Sahibaa's brothers followed them and caught up with them, Mirza fought bravely but they were too many and one blow of a sword's strike killed him and on this Sahibaa took the same sword and killed herself

2011 Version: A guy named Mirza and a girl named Natasha (Sahibaa not so 2011) are friends in university and quickly their friendship turns into a relationship. When after graduation they tell their parents, Natasha's parents disagree as Mirza's GPA was under 3 and he won't be able to find a good job so they decide to get Natasha married to a 3.72 CGPA nerd but when Mirza hears about this he gets on his trusty motorcycle to get Natasha but then he sees that his CNG tank is empty and CNG stations are closed since its a Saturday and since Natasha's house is very far away he just texts her "Happy Marriage, hope you have a very happy marriage life" and goes home and plays FIFA 11 on X-Box 360. :P

5: HEER RANJHAA

Original Version: Ranjha was his father's favorite son and after his father's death on the bad treatment of his brothers he left home and came to Heer's village. When Heer saw Ranjha playing his flute she fell in love with him and asked him to look after his father's cattle. Their love increased but one day Heer's uncle caught them and when they asked for marriage Ranjha was refused. He left the village and became a jogi after sometime when he came back he was allowed marriage with Heer. On the day of the marriage the same uncle gave Heer poisoned sweets and when Ranjha knew about it he also ate the same sweet and died.

2011 Version: A guy named Raja interested in music leaves his home with his trusty Gibson guitar and goes to Islamabad there one day he is playing his guitar outside an academy where Hira hears him while playing "Aadat" She falls in love with the music and asks him to play more everyday after academy Hira would listen to Raja's guitaring one day she asked Raja to play a gigg at her school and he does that and gets very good response and they both fall in a relationship and also update their relationship status on facebook. Raja creates his very own band and in time becomes a super star and gets famous. One day he updates his relationship status on facebook "Raja is in a relation with Saas" who he meets on one of his concerts (explained above) which gets Hira infuriated and she comments bad on it. They remove each other from facebook and breakup

6: LAYLA MAJNUN

Original Version: Layla and Majnun fell in love, since Majnun was a poet he wrote stuff on her but then Layla's parents got her married to someone else this disheartened Majnun and he became a loner and he roamed around areas writing his poetry in stones and sand until Layla got sick and died and days later Majnun was also found dead with an unknown female grave with a verse written about Layla

2011 Version: Majeed gets Layla's number from somewhere when he contacts her they become friends one day Majeed this he is in love and he proposes to Layla who in turn asks for a Jazz '100' mobile card to be in relationship Majeed gets angry and he leaves her and stops talking to girls while Layla finds another guy :P

THATS IT FOR THIS TIME

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Kids : The Stereotypes

HEY ALL

I have been around, met A LOT of people, families and been in many family events and where ever you go, you find kids. All types of them , the short, the tall, the fat, the thin ........ ALL OF EM . So I wanted to discuss their types

1. CUTE KIDS A.K.A "AWWWW" KIDS

Kid: "Mama mama, I jusht got a boo boo"

Everyone in room "Awwwwwwww"

When your house is roaring with the sounds like "awwwww" or "shooooo shweeet" that clearly means you got a cute kid in the house. No matter what they say may it be stupid, funny, beautiful, right or wrong, people would just want to pull his/her cheeks and talk all childish with him/her. They are very lovely

2. ANGEL KIDS

I haven't met a lot of these type in my life but I know 5 of them and this part is dedicated to my 5 beautiful angels.... My 4 Bhateejis and 1 Bhanji

1. Hania & Nooriya :)

2. Shehzeen & Mehreen :)

3. Warda :)

Never has a time gone when they are with me and called me (Hania, Shehzeen & Warda Only, Mehreen & Nooriya cant speak yet) "Chacha, Chachoo or Mamu" my entire tension hasn't just swept out of my body. Playing with them, teasing them, becoming a kid again with them is just amazing. I LOVE THEM ALL VERY VERY MUCH AND THEY ARE MY LIFE :)

I live with Warda and she is soooo close to me, watches cartoons with me, plays and jumps with me

Whenever I meet Shehzeen , she comes screaming at me and tells me A LOT of stuff that I just love to hear. Mehreen is soooooo cute. When she is with me, she doesn't even go to her mother or father and laughs a lot when I play with her

Hania was the first kid in our family and maybe the most dearest to all and certainly I LOVE HER A LOT she calls me "Chachoo" and its soooo cute. I met nooriya after a long time after her birth on her first visit to Pakistan, but instantly got sooooo attached to her that when the time came for her to go back to Saudi Arabia I had tears in my eyes all the way back to Islamabad after parting from her.

I LOVE ALL OF THEM :)

3: ANNOYING KIDS

A picture opens on your computer

Kid: "Whose that?"

U: "Thats my friend"

Kid: "Which friend?"

U: "Friend from University"

Kid: "What is his name?"

U: "___________"

Kid: "Why did his parents named him that?"

U: "How would I know?"

Kid: "Aren't you his friend?"

U: "Yes I am"

Kid: "Then shouldn't you know?"

U: "AHHHH, K I will ask him and tell you... OKAY?? "

Kid: "Why would you tell me?"

U: "Because u asked"

Kid: "That is personal stuff, mom says you don't tell personal stuff about people to others"

U: "ALRIGHT, I WONT TELL"

Kid: "But I wanna know"

U: "SHUT UP"

*you change the picture*

Kid: "Whose that?"

*and the conversation repeats* :P

Enough for the nice kids, now lets get down to some REAL business. These kids are a pain and believe me they are one of the most severe pain you can imagine. Questions after questions after questions and when you get angry at them and scold them or hit them the elders come to you saying "He/she is just a kid but you are an adult and you should know better" ....... SHEESH

4: Violent Kids

Mom: "Hey son/daughter check out these beautiful fishies"

Kid thinking "What if I set this aquarium on fire and then leave ten cats inside and see what happens"

Dr. Octopus, Carnage, Magneto, Two Face and all the well known super villains fail in front of this level of EVIL. These kids are just pure EVIL. They can do the most horrifying things to the cutest of dolls. Beating up smaller kids, doing bad stuff to small animals and pets is just where they start. Pulling hair, stabbing with nails just don't get me started. OUCH THEY HURT

5: ANGEL (IN DISGUISE) KIDS:

Mom : "My son/daughter is sooooo nice, yesterday he/she _______________"

These are the misunderstood kids, people THINK they are nice but they are not and at the end of the day whenever they play a prank or do a mischief nobody believes that they did it and the innocent kids fall in the trap (being explained later) . They would help and old lady cross the road but would trip/push them at the end , they would bring water for a thirsty but would act to trip and spill it over them. SMART KIDS

6: INNOCENT KIDS :

Kid : "Why isn't Chicken's wife called "Chikni" ?? " :P

Whenever this kid speaks he makes a foolish statement and people laugh at him all around thinking how funny his childish statement was. They are subsets as well of Angel kids , Cute kids and Annoying kids. Because they can be innocent and the angelic , cute or annoying. I know some innocent kids who are angelic although they might not know who I am :P . These poor souls have some very interesting questions that people only reply with a laugh

7: DUMB KIDS:

DUHHHHHHHH ............................................. NUFF SAID :P

8: BREAKING KIDS:

*Smash*

*Wham*

*Bam*

*Splash*

The House : "HE/SHE IS COMING , HIDE THIS, HIDE THAT, PUT THAT ON THE TOP SHELF....... HE/SHE IS COMINGGGGGGGGGGG"

THE BREAKING KIDS .......... THEIR MOST FAMOUS DIALOGUE "OOPS"

Rings around the hosue A lot and when this kid is a guest , the whole house is on red alert until he leaves may it be the home team or the away team :P

Toys, ceramics, plates, glass, electronic items, decoration pieces , furniture YOU NAME THEM ND............ YES THEY CAN

WELL THATX IT FROM MY SIDE

ENDING WITH PICTURES OF MY 5 ANGELS

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X Y'ALL :)

____________________________________________________________________

NOORIYA WEARING HIJAAB :)

NOORIYA ON EID, I JUST LOVE THIS PIC OF HERS :)

SHEHZU (ELDER) & MEHRU (SMALLER) CUTEEEEEEES

WARDA MAKING ROTI :)

MY MOST FAVORITE PIC OF HANIA, SHE IS A LOT BIGGER NOW :)

Letter To Abidal : GET WELL SOON

To,

Eric Abidal

Today morning I turned on my Twitter to read the latest news on Barcelona through an account called Barcastuff. All I saw was different football players wishing you to get well soon. I got scared I quickly searched the news column and read about your tumor. The news came as a shocker because I couldn't believe what had happened within a night.

I Wouldn't go in this blog saying "WHY YOU? WHY YOU TO GET THIS DISEASE?" because you know that "ALLAH" tests those whom he loves. It is very sad that you have to leave and in WHAT A SEASON you were having.

• You had already proved that you are one of the BEST Left backs EVER to step in the football ground but in this season in the absence of Puyol you silenced all your critics who said "Abidal cannot fill Puyol's place" by showing that you are also one of the BEST center backs EVER.
• You scored your first goal and took Barca ahead
• You stood like a wall single handedly in front of a great team like Arsenal without Pique & Puyol by your side
• You provided one of the best through balls I have ever seen in my entire life
• Pique made mistakes but you didn't this season

All in all you made Barcelona proud and you made us Culeans ALL OVER THE WORLD proud. Pakistan is a place where football kits are VERY rare to find and especially Barcelona kits and that too of anyone except Messi. But this season I saw your shirt as well lying around in stores but because of having no money I couldn't buy it.

I know while writing this letter that it is almost next to impossible that you will read it BUT if my luck shines because I will leave no method I know off to get you a hint of this letter. IF my luck shines and you do get to read this letter. I just want one thing, NO NO NO, I don't want an autographed t shirt or you to contact me.

ALL I want you to know that CULEANS all over the world are with you. When you will go into that operating room this friday we will ALL be out there in the waiting area , waiting for the good news because we know that a strong man like you will easily pass the obstacles and then ALL of us will be outside your house waiting for your recovery and then ALL of us will be at the Camp Nou waiting for your glorious comeback.

Nd Easily My Most Favorite Moment Of This Season , WHAT A GOAL , ND THEN AN AMAZING CELEBRATION , ONLY KING ABIDAL :)

GET WELL SOON ABI :)
#AnimsAbi

WAITING ANTICIPATIVELY

SYED SOHAIB

CULEAN :)

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