Men: The Oppressed Souls - A Reply!

Hello Everyone!!

On the night of February 7th 2012 I wrote a humor blog " Men : The Oppressed Souls" http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2012/02/men-oppressed-souls.html 

The blog was a huge success among my male compatriots while equally the sarcasm never set in for the girls and some even went as far as started abusing. I promised back then a reply from the women's side for that blog and FINALLYYY one of my very close friends "Nandana Baji" has come up with a reply. Its a brilliant reply but shows that even she felt the sting of my sarcasm ;) .. Hahaha! Now I will shut up and following is the reply. Enjoy!

Balance ~ a reply to “Men: The Oppressed Souls”

To “Syed's Xtreme Shenanigans” fans, I would begin with apologizing for being so late on my “promised” reply to the blog “Men: The Oppressed Souls”.

Reading it back then I remember laughing on how a man has described his innocence as being the one “oppressed” by the other half of the society, note here I said “other half” and not the other “better half” of the society (pun intended).

The blog describes various points such as speech, teachers, shopping, manners etc highlighting how the world is so unfair to poor males where as females always are on the brighter side in every one’s eyes.

My dear friend, it is because of the perception that you males have made due to which (according to you) we females ALWAYS get to be on the brighter side and it is due to that same perception that you see yourself as PIGS, we have no hand what so ever in this whole controversy. Take for example “well mannered males – a myth” and “Speech” part of your blog: none amongst us girls prefer using abusive language i.e. “Oh crap” or “what the..” (and hey we all know what usually comes next) but if someone from us do utter such an expression in a relative situation then it is you males who HAD to STOP, voicing a comment on “HOW VERY COOL” it is. You see human nature works on the affection between the two genders; it is how balance is maintained. It is in every religion, we shape each other’s side by what we want of each other. Now if your side likes females who are cool because they go “OH CRAP” then that’s what you are going to get. We on the other hand will always prefer males who avoid such stuff, for us males using such expressions will always be “EWWW”. You are not oppressed, we just expect more from you then you do from us.

“Teacher” misunderstanding:  I once again begin by laughing, these teachers you talk about, aren’t they males themselves? (Point made) – You can rename your blog as “Males oppressed by males” or “Boys oppressed by Men”, we females have NOTHING to do with it (honestly). And I personally do know teachers who are fair with boys as well as with girls, I also am aware of teachers being biased towards males rather than females. Sadly this is how our education system is structured; you got to prove yourself worthy of attention. Try being patient, consistent and obedient it shall work IN-SHA-ALLAH.

As for the shopping part of your blog, that’s highly a “narrow sighted” topic. When a girl goes shopping she knows that she might not be able to make it to market after every hour like her brother/father/husband can. She thinks about the stuff she requires and also plans for stuff she might buy so as to avoid coming back to market often. She prefers purchasing all the stuff she requires in one go – stop looking at the bill, we are doing you a favor or else you would be asked to go get the shampoo because we are out of it. As for a male purchasing an expensive perfume, dear friend if you have 4 bottles of branded perfumes lying at home which you keep spraying on your feet so to get rid of the pungent wet feet smell, I do support that purchasing yet another one just because you have to go meet a “friend” isn’t a wise decision. WASTE it is!

“Poondi” is a term I learnt from boys. I often hear boys saying to each other “Poondi karney chal” meaning “let’s go drool over whatever girl passes by”. It is a common activity amongst boys these days, they have poondi points, I remember my university boys who travelled in bus with me requesting the bus driver to slow the bus as it passes by Zawiya academy because they had to check out “bachies”, so Mr blogger keeping in mind what you males do, if we do label you as drooling pigs, it is highly justified. As for us girls, it is true we all have lost “Haya” over males we see on television just because they decipher an image of a perfect soul-mate, an idea all girls “worship” these days. Thing is, if in a society males have lost their serenity then females too will follow the footsteps towards the darker path. Haven’t you heard that Hadith “Tum apni nazrain neechay rakho, tumhari aurat pak baaz rahey ge”. Then again, it is males who paved the first step towards this despicable deed. I feel highly distressed on the current situation where a young boy as well as a girl owns posters of males and females which they proudly display in their rooms and their parents pass by smiling thinking “bachey jawan ho gaye”. This poondi thing that you males invented is throwing our society off balance. It is making this society as a society of OPPRESSED BEINGS! Then again label your blog that rather than how you have labeled.

Shoving females in male-gender: How your blog makes me laugh!! Every single one of us is allowed to have opinions on what so ever they watch. If a certain girl likes Edward Cullen, (no matter how much her ignorance shines by this action), it is her choice. I do however know boys who themselves copy such characters so that they can come in the limelight. Do I not remember an “Edward Cullen” account you yourself shared with me some months back?  It is you males who are trying to be like us, trying to be pretty so that you can be liked by those girls who have hots for men mentioned in your blog. You males try to keep in your gender and worry not about what people are doing or not doing, it’s a phase and shall hopefully pass, about Lady Gaga and all, they use tricks to gain people’s attention and thanks to people like us they get what they want. Male or female, no one usually cares, the songs go on the charts and money is being minted that is what will keep on happening until we start ignoring.

Watching TV: Let your wives work or encourage them for activities that might help the society as a whole rather than leaving them home around this “television”, more over if you do want to watch a live match then promise them that you won’t watch a repeat telecast, you will not listen to the news later on about the same match you watched live, you will in no way read about it in the newspaper tomorrow morning. Older women in our society have very few activities; I am not talking about “work-house chores”, that they get to do a lot but “activities” as in “work that engages their brains”, if they are thinking about that TV serial all day long and you come home ruining their day’s thoughts than you are in trouble. As being man of the house it is your duty to keep her mentally engaged. Now if you can’t provide for her activities, that can keep her mentally healthy, then at least let her watch that tv serial. Oppressed here are those house wives who have nothing better to do then to wait for TV serials. Rename you blog my friend or better, break it in several many blogs.

The purpose of writing this reply to your blog is not to instill an argument but to make clear that man and woman are both a part of this society and play almost an equal part in shaping the perceptions, yet a female by nature can be tended, her behavior can be mended if the males of the society play their part honestly with care and respect for both parts.

Thank you for letting me write this blog, as for readers keep on reading “Syed's Xtreme Shenanigans”, according to me its “first-hand experience” of a talented writer explained in a witty way to keep the readers entertained yet informed about what or what not is happening in the world around! Happy reading!

That's it for this time!
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Till Next Time
X Y'All

If Super Villains Were In Pakistan?

Hey Everybody :D

M Backkkkkkkkkkkkk

Yes ladies and gentlemen the wait is over *Speaks in an empty hall*, it’s been at least two months of the time I haven’t blogged. Exams, projects and the end of semester was just AAAAAAHHHH. Anyhow I am back and my return blog is ready.

A year ago I wrote a very successful blog if I do say so myself, on how all these Super Heroes always end up being in either Europe or American continents, they never end up saving people in Pakistan or even India for that matter and I described what would happen if some of them did came over here. The link is as follows http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2011/06/if-super-heroes-were-in-pakistan.html

Well having watched Avengers the movie (Hulk Smashing Loki scene was AWESOME) and watching seasons of Avengers and Batman, a couple of days ago I was wondering that if Super Heroes were in Pakistan they were bound to have enemies and if we take those enemies that they have in comics then how would they fare if they would be in Pakistan.

1.                  Joker (Batman)

If I love any villain beyond measures, then it has to be “The joker” and no biggie that I have even written a tribute blog for him (http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2010/07/tribute-to-joker.html). The character is pure evil and nothing but evil but when among Pakistanis even the “Clown Prince of Crime” is going to have problems

Situation 1:

Headline News: Joker Striked Out!  

Due to the economic crisis in the country the minions who were hired by the “Clown prince of crime” from local areas have all decided to go on a strike claiming that they are not happy by the way Joker treats them and also they need a raise in their pays, keeping in mind the recent rise in prices of all the items. As crazy as this situation is as even upon threats by The Joker killing these people they have threatened the Joker back with leakage of information of his plans and hideouts to the Lahore police. The unknown location from where these protests have been recorded and given to the media still remains a mystery and police is trying to find the minions. Any settlement between the parties remains to be seen

Situation 2:

Headline News: Terrified Joker Gives In

After the alarming news of the sudden surrender of the clown prince of crime people are still wondering if it’s a trap set by the Joker but till now The Joker seems terrified of something. As we all know that the Joker was not seen since a couple of months back after one of his most devious plans in Lahore and he was thought of as the biggest evil mind in Pakistan. More information is yet to be extracted from the Joker as security officials say that all the Joker has been saying since his surrender the letter “Z” and how scary it is. (If you know what I mean)

2.                 Live Wire (Super Man)

Live wire is the female villain of Superman, she used to be a reporter but due to an electric shock gone wrong she turns into a villain with powers to control electricity.

Headline News: Livewire Become the Bearer Of Good News

Livewire broke free and started causing havoc in Old Lahore city but she was caught and this time not by Superman but instead by local people of the area who were out there doing protests against Load Shedding. She was brought down to near the ground and ambushed with rubber tires and caught and tied up in the rubber. Then livewire was handed over to LESCO who have taken her into custody and put her into the grid after which the Chief Minister of Lahore Mian Shahbaz Sharif has announced that from now on there will be no more load shedding in Lahore.

Bullseye (Daredevil)

Bullseye is the villain of Daredevil with the perfect sight for targets and he never misses his targets, exactly something like Deadshot for Batman.

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Mr. Freeze (Batman)

Mr. Freeze is the scientist who was covered by a coolant and now cannot survive without subzero temperatures only wanting to bring his wife back to life. 

Headline News: Mr. Freeze Frustrated!!!

Mr. Freeze was at it again attacking Faisalabad this afternoon but the people of Faisalabad turned it over for Mr. Freeze as none of the people asked for any help as Mr. Freeze went over the town freezing stuff because of the high temperatures and increasing load shedding. Kids started playing in the snow instead and people kept asking for more from Mr. Freeze which frustrated Mr. Freeze to the point that he shouted and left the area without the need of Batman to wind things up. One person also was reported to shout from behind "Para kal wi chakar laa jaana" --> "Brother please come tomorrow as well"

Lex Luthor (Superman)

The billionaire Lex Luthor of Superman, almost everybody knows about him, having no superpower except money

Headline News: Superman Takes Lex Luthor To Supreme Court

The billionaire businessman Lex Luthor has been called to supreme court by Chief Justice Iftikhar Chaudhary after Superman lodged a complaint on his corruption cases regarding importing many illegal weaponry and forbidden metals such as the Kryptonite. Cheif Justice has taken up the case and the first hearing of this case will be done tomorrow. 

Kingpin (Daredevil, Spiderman)

The crime lord of the comic world is Kingpin

Headline News: Kingpin's Dead Body Found Inside A Bodybag

The whole Karachi was shocked today when the body of Kingpin was found inside a body bag in Azizabad. Kingpin who self proclaimed himself as the "King of crime" in Pakistan yesterday has given turned this total shocker as maybe he turned to piss some bigger "Bhai" of Pakistan. This maybe a great clue that Azizabad is the area of MQM's main head office and fortress "Nine-Zero" but with the death of someone as powerful as the Kingpin, I am no one to blame anyone

Green Goblin (Spiderman)

Green Goblin is the super villain of Spiderman who is the businessman Norman Osborn who after a genetic enhancing experiment and some creation of new weapons becomes the Green Goblin. Remember that Spider man died in my previous blog :P

Headline News: Green Goblin Caught By Load Shedding Riots

After the death of Spider man nobody ever thought that the Green Goblin can be caught but the things turned over unexpectedly when a load shedding riot unexpectedly broke into Norman Osborn's house because he had generator's running. While breaking through the house the rioters broke into the room where Norman Osborn secretly kept the weapons of Green Goblin. People started using those weapons and gliders of the green goblin on his home and in the city. Upon the arrival of Police they captured the people using the weapons and also captured Norman Osborn who never had time to run away.

In Short --> PAKISTANI ARE AWESOME

No Super Villains can harm us, we have our own though :P

That's it for this time (Next time will be an Illuminati blog)

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Leaving You All With One Of My Most Favorite Pictures of Heath Ledger's Version of Joker 

X Y'All 

PG: Not For Children

Heyyyy Allllllllllll

M Back, after the grueling success of my blog Men: The Oppressed Souls. I have been threatened, abused and applauded by girls all around. Many girls agreed to my point of view easily, some abused me a lot and then agreed to my point of view and some just went on to threaten me :P

Well still waiting for the reply from the Women side, I thought of bringing to you another blog.

Now there is some stuff which were made and brought forward for children and maybe those things look good when you are children but when you look at those things as an adult then if you are a parent or even someone who cares will try to keep the children away from these AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

I List Some Stuff Down

1. BARNEY

"I Love You, You Love Me, We Are A Happy Family, With A Big Big Hug & A Kiss From Me To You, Won't You Say You Love Me Too"

You would just find almost all kids back in the time singing this song and I would want to insult Barney but one of my good friends the Pindi Boy (Hammad) (The best humor blogger in Pakistan) has already done this in one of these blogs and I will instead copy some of his lines.

Barney I will not take this anymore. All those sleepless nights all those nightmares of a purple dinosaur coming in my dreams and hugging me and that tune repeatedly going in my head for 4 years of my life.

I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won’t you say you love me too?

Does no one else find this song psychotically messed up? It has pedo written all over it. And to all the Barney lovers out there. I just have one question for you. Was he just hugging you? Was he just simply and only hugging you? Think about it.

It’s Time to Say No to Barney. Because it’s creeps like him that ruin kids like me.

Each smile on each of the child in his show has a story. A sad shocking story. These aren't real smiles these are artificial smiles. Smiles that cover the emotional scar of what Barney did to these kids. If only they would speak up.


2. SESAME STREET

Sesame street was one of the most popular kids shows when I was a kid and they even translated it for the Pakistani children in urdu with the name "Khul Ja Sim Sim" but now when I see this program as an adult. People think by watching sesame street children will learn how to "count" and "spell" but now I see that sesame street teaches kids other things. Like how to "judge" people and "label" people.

Like they have the above character named "Oscar" and they judge him right in his face. They treat this guy like crap in the entire show

They would be like

The old people: "Oscar you are so mean, isn't he kids?"

Kids: "Yea , Oscar you are a grouch"

HE LIVES IN A DAMN TRASH CAN, what do u expect of him?

These are the kids that walk over homeless people in the streets saying "Get a job grouch"

Sesame street is a terrible place, I never would want to go there. With six foot pigeons walking around the area :/

Then they have this above character and they call him the "Cookie Monster" , ever wondered why he is always hyper and his eyes are popping out?? You know it is not the sugar :P , Ever wondered what kind of cookies is he asking for?


3. DOREMON

If there has been a more annoying show than Doremon then I would prefer to die before watching that show. It has been sooooo much annoying in english and in Pakistan they have dubbed it in hindi. It is pure torture and I am damn sure that they have started showing non stop shows of Doremon in Guantanamo Bay as well. This show only teaches kids how to take shortcuts in real life, how to ditch you mothers by using lies and shortcuts, how to bully your friends and how to talk to a blue creature that lives with you. Learning a lot eh?

4. DORA THE EXPLORER

Okay when I was a kid then my mom didn't even let me play with all the bad kids of the street and look at kids now. They are watching a show and "Idolizing" a cartoon character which is a girl who goes around everywhere without the permission of her parents with a talking monkey?? What the hell are they trying to teach children these days? A fox that loves stealing stuff, stalks Dora everywhere and not even once has Dora tried to tell her parents about it. Cartoons for children?

5. JUSTIN BIEBER

Disney just totally got off the track to make stuff for children when they launched Miley Cyrus to the children and then things started getting worse and then it hit rock bottom when they launched another girl into the society. The girl being "Justin Bieber" . They made this girl to entertain children all around but her first song was about her chasing a girl all around a bar singing "Baby baby baby oooooohhhhhhhhhhh" , I MEAN WTH?? Except for the word "Baby" there is nothing for children to see or "hear" in that song. Things just went downwards from there.


6. INDIAN CRICKET TEAM

Cricket is supposed to be a sport for everyone and including children but then came in the "Indian Cricket Team" and made it a complete adult sports. The pictures are enough said.

7. MALL ROAD MUREE

One of the main reasons behind Mall Road Muree was simple, a place for complete family fun and if as a kid you would look at it as a place with toy stores and arcade gaming but look at it as an adult and it has turned into nothing but a "Poondi" (If you don't know the meaning of this then you still didn't read my Men: The Opressed Souls blog and you don't deserve to know it) spot for boys and girls alike. Pindi boys and girls stand wearing sun glasses in gangs and stay on a look out for good looking girls and boys who are out with family and make them uncomfortable. You really want to drag kids out there?

8. VEENA MALIK

Majority of the kids remember the above for being the host in the GEO show "Ham Sab Umeed Sey Hain" and then look at her as an adult and she has done some "TOP" class stuff after leaving that show. She has ruined the caste of "Malik" 's name. Absolute disgrace and shame and needs to be kept away from children.

9. F 9 PARK

What the F9 park was built for :)

All clean and good family fun :) Kids playing around as parents enjoy the greenery and have a good picnic :)

& Presenting To You, What The F9 Park Is Being Used For

Dun
Dun
Dun

I may be a Maaya Khan hater but really we do need one of her in the F9 park :P

10. LADY GAGA

If you think Miley Cyrus and Justin bieber were not enough for the children of the world to be destroyed and turn into a world of mayhem. Then came "Lady Gaga" , Eminem has seen some REAL stuff in his life and just look at his face in the above picture. You think this "THING" is even anything you would show your kid even kept behind a cage in a zoo?

Well That Is It From This Time

Till Next Time

Most Probably By Next Time I Will Comeback With The Reply From The Woman's Side

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X Y'All

Happy Valentine’s Day Pakistanis : Feat Bilal

Heyyyyyyyy Alllllllllllll

Today is the big day for which everyone was waiting for. All the red roses being sold all around the world, love cards being given to the ones you love, sending e-cards if your love lives far away, different and expensive gifts being bought for the ones you love, dates will be arranged all over the world in expensive restaurants, events will be organized regarding the big day in cafes, parks and restaurants, everything will be decorated in the color of love that is red, with hearts, roses, ribbons and glitter being the main ingredients. The day of love, the day of expressing your love to the guy/girl you have loved. You can finally ask him/her out. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ITS VALENTINE’s DAY

I Can’t express my excitement in words so I will express my excitement in pictures I took of myself below. Here is to all of you celebrating this amazing day J

 I am trying to keep this as polite as possible but seriously you guys need to get a life. This blog I am writing today is ONLY and ONLY for Pakistanis. I don’t care what anybody else does but I need to deliver my message to the Pakistani youth. You people are celebrating Valentine’s Day? I won’t go into the long stupid history of who made this day and how it came into being because even to this day it is not sure that which of the myths related to this day are correct but it has been widely proclaimed as the day of love. Finally you can ask the guy/girl you have liked out, isn't a dream come true? A day just to do exactly what you wanted. 

NO THIS IS JUST PLAIN STUPID , I was just watching a show on television in which a girl was walking around with a mic in her hand asking girls and boys how they celebrate valentine's day and they all told how they take their girls and boys on dates and how they buy them gifts and they buy them whatever "THEY WANT" and if someone was sensible enough to say that Valentine's day is not a part of our culture and I don't celebrate then she used to get rude and tell them that they are stupid. I MEAN WHAT THE HELL?? 

You are trying to celebrate an event made by English people (not just U.K & America) and are trying to learn how to love from them, from whom?? Those who have places for dogs in their home but who and leave their parents inside an old person home? You are trying to learn how to love from people who don't even know the meaning of it. 

If you really want to learn how to love and celebrate love then celebrate Eid Milaad-Un-Nabi like the way you people celebrate Valentine's day to show your love for your Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) , celebrate Mother's day , Father's day with as much enthusiasm as you celebrate Valentine's day. The youth now have thousands to spend on the people they met days, months or years (in special cases) ago A.K.A loved ones on valentines day buying gifts and going on dates but they don't have bloody "30" Rupees even to buy the people WHO RAISED THEM UP AND MADE THEM WHAT THEY ARE a simple card on mother's of father's day. If this is the kind of love you are learning from this day then please stop it. I live in a hostel room that is right in front of "Cafe Rock Bistro" and I can hear the "LOVE" in my room as well spreading throughout. CHEAP, DISGRACEFUL, EMBARRASSING. 

This is not a long rant because really nobody would give a damn to my blog. I could've named this blog to something against Valentine's day but I decided to name it as such because I at least wanted that those who are celebrating it can get the message by my pictures above. In the end I am just putting a picture of me and my friend who have seen that we are Forever Alone and we despise these stupid activities.

Me & Bilal

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Men: The Oppressed Souls

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy Alllllllllllll

I am back with yet another one of my shenanigans. In today’s world I have seen time and time again that males have been called the “bad” part for their behavior with the female species. I have seen that they have been blamed with titles such as “Sexists” and “Male Shovenist Pigs”. They have been called inhumane for the stuff they have done with the females and how they oppress the women of the society and get a better and higher place in the society. While us males have been taught to always say “Ladies first” the Ladies have taken it for granted and started a conspiracy against us. Today I am right here to protest against all those baseless ideas created by the female species of the world who are trying to turn this world against us. My blog this time will be about how the men are actually the ones being targeted by the other gender and the “third” gender too (more on that later). The picture below shows exactly my point

P.S: I AM NOT SUPPORTING THOSE MALES WHO VIOLENTLY BEAT FEMALES AND DO BAD STUFF, BECAUSE LET’S FACE IT THEY ARE JUST A MINORITY. I AM HERE FOR THE GREATER GOOD, THE MAJORITY

1.       SPEECH

First let’s start with the basics as a girl is allowed to speak in any way she wants. She can choose any pattern and style of speech and that is fine but a boy? OH NO NO NO. He has to be polite, well-mannered and gracious during his conversation. A simple example can be the word “CRAP” A girl can go ahead and say “CRAP” out loudly and all the word means is what? She is just trying to say “OH SHIT” in a “cooler” way but a boy gets frustrated and says the same and what happens? Girls all around cover their mouths and gasp “aaahh, did u hear what he just said? OOO EMMM GEEE”

Yes boys do abuse but the females have the boys soooo sure that we are the snoop dog of abusers. The females have us soooo scared of saying anything out of the absolute simplest vocabulary. Even if a guy just wants to say “What the Hell” and he just reaches “What the” and that’s it. People lose their minds, girls start throwing fits and the guy just stands there looking at himself and thinking what he did. Break out of this conspiracy the girls are just trying to take away our vocabulary while they are using the words more than us.

2.       TEACHERS

Not all teachers but there are some and I know some personally as well who would rather give a grade to a girl instead of giving it to one who deserves it. When a girl asks a question then she doesn’t understand and she has the right to ask again and again but if the boy asks a question then he might be asked to ask that question later and if he is lucky enough because the teacher is in a good mood and has his answer questioned then if he doesn’t understand then he is just simply an idiot for not getting it the first time. “Sexist” us?? THINK AGAIN

3.       SHOPPING

A woman goes shopping to buy JUST a nail polish remover and her bill

Nail polish                                           60

Perfume                                              1000

Shampoo                                            250

Etc Stuff                                              500

____________________________

Total                                                  1810

A man goes shopping to buy a 500 Rs perfume but likes another and instead his bill comes out to be

Perfume                                              800

_____________________________

Total                                                   800

There you go my friends and that bill is simply not equal to a good perfume instead it is equal to a 1 hour long lecture by your wife/mother/sister or any other female friend on just how stupidly you spent all the money. She went to buy just a nail polish remover and bought everything else which goes into nothing except that she is buying stuff that will come into use. If you closely watch that bill again THERE IS NO NAIL POLISH REMOVER but a guy spends 300 Rs more than what he was supposed to and he is a stupid spender. SHEESH. We all know women and their shopping

4.       POONDI (GAZING)

Alright a boy looks at a girl and for this the boy is considered to be a jerk as he is looking at girl even for that matter that boy might be looking at that girl because she is about to fall down and was going to warn her or just as a “sister” BUT girls can look at boys all they want and nothing. They can look at boys, point at them, laughs at them, go up to them while they are out with friends in F7 and say “HI BILA….” Ohhh ermmmm I mean like that, you get the “general” idea :P and they can be as innocent as a fallen angel from 7^th heaven but a guy looks at them is called a jerk, points at them is called something I can’t say in this blog because of point 1 above, laughs at them and he is called a stupid male pig and if he goes up to them when they are with friends OR even bump them around the area a couple of time that guy is called following and after that girl. REALLY??

Boys have been labeled as “Poonds” (Starting at other gender) in Pakistan because they look at girls (yes of course they do, some good and some bad) BUT WHY OH WHY are the girls not labeled if they are watching a guy? It is simple because they are the professionals and they ace in this art of Poondi and so clearly they are never caught but don’t hide from me girls. I have seen a lot looking from the corner of that eye. If a guy thinks Emma Watson is good looking then he is a “THARKI” (Learn Pakistani terms by now :P) but when girls do that? If I had a nickel for every time I heard “OH MY GOD ASHEERRRRRRR (the Hamsafar guy)” or “GABRIEL MACHT IS SOOOOOO HOTTTT” I would be wealthy enough to buy my own revolver and shoot some people (Edward Cullen not included because he is not a guy). Ladies this part also comes in watching guys.

5.       SHOVING FEMALES INTO OUR GENDER

I have a single question. Why do girls call some females as males and then start loving them over the extent. That just shows how much females just love themselves and not males actually. Everybody confused which females?? Let me list down

a)      Justin Bieber

b)      Edward Cullen a.k.a Robert Pattinson

c)       Sahir Lodhi

d)      Shaista Wahidi

e)      Maaya Khan

f)       Lady Gaga

No Females, NO NO NO. The above listed and many other people that you have sent into the male gender and started loving them are NOT males. TAKE THEM BACK

6.       WATCHING T.V

This category might come in the older woman but as time is proceeding the females are maturing early on trying to warn up their new ones early about the conspiracy they are running on the men. Most wives have problems with their husbands coming late from work and ask them daily to come early and if they come early and they want to watch some T.V to relax then the husbands hear the all famous dialogue “ALL DAY I WAIT FOR THIS ONE TV SHOW & U COME AT THAT TIME & RUIN IT” Does this fair any resemblance my elder married readers? And if this isn’t enough then if a guy wants to watch a LIVE match, let me repeat it LIVE match then the girls asks us that we can either watch it later on in highlights or see the result on internet. IT IS A LIVE MATCH FOR GOD’s SAKE and if we ask the same from girls to watch their drama on a re run then may LORD be with you.

7.       WELL-MANNERED MALE A MYTH? WELL-MANNERED FEMALE THE WORLD TRUTH?

I think the title says enough what I want to say. Although certain examples can be

MALE                                                                         FEMALE

Driving Bad à STUPID                                                 Driving Bad à COOL

Eating Rice with Hands à PIG                                       Eating Rice with Hands à Old-Fashioned

Snorts in Public à WRONG                                          Snorts in Public à Hygienic

Laughs loudly à WRONG                                             Laughs loudly à Very happy

Stays quiet a lot à RUDE                                              Stays quiet a lot à Humble

I think enough said :P

These are just some of the points that me and my other male friends INSTANTLY thought of and this just not ends here. This is how females are planning a conspiracy against the males. IT’S THE TIME TO RISE, REVOLT AGAINST ALL FEMALES

There might be a reply to this from the female side as well as one of my female friends wants to defend her side. Let’s see

All Males Who Are with Me & All the Females Who Hate Me Now

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X Y’All

Mysteries Revealed 3

Heyyyyyyyyyyy Alllllllllllllllll

After More than 2 and half months of no blogging I am backkkkkkkkkkkk

Its been some hell of a two months that have passed by behind me being some of the most tensed and troubling two months in my life but well lets save the sob story and lets get back to the point at hand

After Mysteries Revealed Part 1 http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2011/09/mysteries-revealed.html

Then Came Mysteries Revealed Part 2 http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2011/11/mysteries-revealed-2.html

Now With People Doing More Stupid Stuff Nd Demanding Me To Write Another Here Comes

Mysteries Revealed Part 3

1. Pindi Boys & Hoods?

I will never ever understand the affection between a Pindi boy and a hood. Absolutely no connection but they love it. If you don't know what a Pindi boy is then read Mysteries Revealed part 1. Pindi boys would love hooded people's wall papers, a Pindi boy would love to have a sticker of a hooded person on the back of their modified mehran (Wish could get a picture of that sticker), a Pindi boy would love anything with a hood. I asked one pindi boy the reason and he told me that its because "Hoods are worn when people street dance and do his hop dancing" Ermmmmmmmm so? What has Pindi got to do with street and hip hop dancing? I think this is a mystery that will remain to be one


2. Why Do People Poke On Facebook?

Okay first people poke and then they expect a reply. That is annoying I mean seriously think of this in real life that you go and poke a person and then ask them "why didn't you poke me back?" . Retarded? Exactlyyy

3. Why People Tweet/Facebook About Everything They Do?

I think the above two pictures explain perfectly enough. I mean they are in a concert and they are using their cell phones and tweeting and facebooking about it. They are in a movie and they are doing the same I mean why spend all that money to go do something what you can do at home as well. Get a grip on yourselves people

4. Why Are Their Some Stupid Stuff Written In Product Descriptions & Manuals?

Some products just do this as you can clearly see in the above two pictures. Rest let me explain by more examples and then just ask WHY?? :P

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray
"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."
"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice
"Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.
"Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.
"In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual.

5. Why People Give Themselves Stupid Additional Names On Facebook?

Alright now I never can and will understand why girls and boys add stupid names in their original names or even put stupid words instead of their own names on Facebook, on twitter its okay because twitter ids are basically your nicks but on Facebook its NOT. Is your name that of a disgrace to you? I am giving you real examples of some people and ironically they were added to my blog's group just one hour before this blog by a girl named Branded Pwncezz Ayesha :P . Sorry guys but this is stupid :P

This one is CLASS :P

6. Why Do Men/Boys Watch Hamsafar?

It was the night of September 2011 when this drama came on air for the first time and since that night it has become a huge hit day by day. I have even heard of stories where women left their babies crying and even denied husbands a dinner until Hamsafar had ended. This phenomenon grew and grew but then it grew towards the wrong side. Boys and men started watching this drama. Yes people the males started watching this drama. While most boys just started watching because of Maira & Naveen but then they start getting attached to this drama and then they got all emotional with it. I mean one day a guy in my university came to me and said

Guy: Yaar Khirad (Maira's character) bandi achi thi magar usko bhi dimaah istemaal karna chahiye tha. (Khirad is a good girl but she should've used her brain)
Me: DUDE WTH??

Guys please this is NOT OKAY, this is strictly a female show, you CAN NOT watch this and get emotional with this drama.

7. LOLX, LULZ, LOLS, LOLZZZZZZ, LOLLLLLLL, LOLOLOLOLOL Instead of LOL??

Alright we all know what LOL means which is Laughing Out Loud but let me just ask what is all the rest. These are the deviated versions of LOL in which the extra words stand for absolutely nothing, other than the fact that it shows the typer's inability to spell or speak English :P. The typer often thinks it makes them look cool by adding the unnecessary words, more to the contrary it makes them look like a total retard :P

Thought of writing 3 serious mysteries too but let me leave you people at that

Till Next Time

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Can't Wait To Do , So Can't My Notoriously Zesty Friend Of Mine

Till Next Time

X Y'All