Men: The Oppressed Souls

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy Alllllllllllll

I am back with yet another one of my shenanigans. In today’s world I have seen time and time again that males have been called the “bad” part for their behavior with the female species. I have seen that they have been blamed with titles such as “Sexists” and “Male Shovenist Pigs”. They have been called inhumane for the stuff they have done with the females and how they oppress the women of the society and get a better and higher place in the society. While us males have been taught to always say “Ladies first” the Ladies have taken it for granted and started a conspiracy against us. Today I am right here to protest against all those baseless ideas created by the female species of the world who are trying to turn this world against us. My blog this time will be about how the men are actually the ones being targeted by the other gender and the “third” gender too (more on that later). The picture below shows exactly my point

P.S: I AM NOT SUPPORTING THOSE MALES WHO VIOLENTLY BEAT FEMALES AND DO BAD STUFF, BECAUSE LET’S FACE IT THEY ARE JUST A MINORITY. I AM HERE FOR THE GREATER GOOD, THE MAJORITY

1.       SPEECH

First let’s start with the basics as a girl is allowed to speak in any way she wants. She can choose any pattern and style of speech and that is fine but a boy? OH NO NO NO. He has to be polite, well-mannered and gracious during his conversation. A simple example can be the word “CRAP” A girl can go ahead and say “CRAP” out loudly and all the word means is what? She is just trying to say “OH SHIT” in a “cooler” way but a boy gets frustrated and says the same and what happens? Girls all around cover their mouths and gasp “aaahh, did u hear what he just said? OOO EMMM GEEE”

Yes boys do abuse but the females have the boys soooo sure that we are the snoop dog of abusers. The females have us soooo scared of saying anything out of the absolute simplest vocabulary. Even if a guy just wants to say “What the Hell” and he just reaches “What the” and that’s it. People lose their minds, girls start throwing fits and the guy just stands there looking at himself and thinking what he did. Break out of this conspiracy the girls are just trying to take away our vocabulary while they are using the words more than us.

2.       TEACHERS

Not all teachers but there are some and I know some personally as well who would rather give a grade to a girl instead of giving it to one who deserves it. When a girl asks a question then she doesn’t understand and she has the right to ask again and again but if the boy asks a question then he might be asked to ask that question later and if he is lucky enough because the teacher is in a good mood and has his answer questioned then if he doesn’t understand then he is just simply an idiot for not getting it the first time. “Sexist” us?? THINK AGAIN

3.       SHOPPING

A woman goes shopping to buy JUST a nail polish remover and her bill

Nail polish                                           60

Perfume                                              1000

Shampoo                                            250

Etc Stuff                                              500

____________________________

Total                                                  1810

A man goes shopping to buy a 500 Rs perfume but likes another and instead his bill comes out to be

Perfume                                              800

_____________________________

Total                                                   800

There you go my friends and that bill is simply not equal to a good perfume instead it is equal to a 1 hour long lecture by your wife/mother/sister or any other female friend on just how stupidly you spent all the money. She went to buy just a nail polish remover and bought everything else which goes into nothing except that she is buying stuff that will come into use. If you closely watch that bill again THERE IS NO NAIL POLISH REMOVER but a guy spends 300 Rs more than what he was supposed to and he is a stupid spender. SHEESH. We all know women and their shopping

4.       POONDI (GAZING)

Alright a boy looks at a girl and for this the boy is considered to be a jerk as he is looking at girl even for that matter that boy might be looking at that girl because she is about to fall down and was going to warn her or just as a “sister” BUT girls can look at boys all they want and nothing. They can look at boys, point at them, laughs at them, go up to them while they are out with friends in F7 and say “HI BILA….” Ohhh ermmmm I mean like that, you get the “general” idea :P and they can be as innocent as a fallen angel from 7^th heaven but a guy looks at them is called a jerk, points at them is called something I can’t say in this blog because of point 1 above, laughs at them and he is called a stupid male pig and if he goes up to them when they are with friends OR even bump them around the area a couple of time that guy is called following and after that girl. REALLY??

Boys have been labeled as “Poonds” (Starting at other gender) in Pakistan because they look at girls (yes of course they do, some good and some bad) BUT WHY OH WHY are the girls not labeled if they are watching a guy? It is simple because they are the professionals and they ace in this art of Poondi and so clearly they are never caught but don’t hide from me girls. I have seen a lot looking from the corner of that eye. If a guy thinks Emma Watson is good looking then he is a “THARKI” (Learn Pakistani terms by now :P) but when girls do that? If I had a nickel for every time I heard “OH MY GOD ASHEERRRRRRR (the Hamsafar guy)” or “GABRIEL MACHT IS SOOOOOO HOTTTT” I would be wealthy enough to buy my own revolver and shoot some people (Edward Cullen not included because he is not a guy). Ladies this part also comes in watching guys.

5.       SHOVING FEMALES INTO OUR GENDER

I have a single question. Why do girls call some females as males and then start loving them over the extent. That just shows how much females just love themselves and not males actually. Everybody confused which females?? Let me list down

a)      Justin Bieber

b)      Edward Cullen a.k.a Robert Pattinson

c)       Sahir Lodhi

d)      Shaista Wahidi

e)      Maaya Khan

f)       Lady Gaga

No Females, NO NO NO. The above listed and many other people that you have sent into the male gender and started loving them are NOT males. TAKE THEM BACK

6.       WATCHING T.V

This category might come in the older woman but as time is proceeding the females are maturing early on trying to warn up their new ones early about the conspiracy they are running on the men. Most wives have problems with their husbands coming late from work and ask them daily to come early and if they come early and they want to watch some T.V to relax then the husbands hear the all famous dialogue “ALL DAY I WAIT FOR THIS ONE TV SHOW & U COME AT THAT TIME & RUIN IT” Does this fair any resemblance my elder married readers? And if this isn’t enough then if a guy wants to watch a LIVE match, let me repeat it LIVE match then the girls asks us that we can either watch it later on in highlights or see the result on internet. IT IS A LIVE MATCH FOR GOD’s SAKE and if we ask the same from girls to watch their drama on a re run then may LORD be with you.

7.       WELL-MANNERED MALE A MYTH? WELL-MANNERED FEMALE THE WORLD TRUTH?

I think the title says enough what I want to say. Although certain examples can be

MALE                                                                         FEMALE

Driving Bad à STUPID                                                 Driving Bad à COOL

Eating Rice with Hands à PIG                                       Eating Rice with Hands à Old-Fashioned

Snorts in Public à WRONG                                          Snorts in Public à Hygienic

Laughs loudly à WRONG                                             Laughs loudly à Very happy

Stays quiet a lot à RUDE                                              Stays quiet a lot à Humble

I think enough said :P

These are just some of the points that me and my other male friends INSTANTLY thought of and this just not ends here. This is how females are planning a conspiracy against the males. IT’S THE TIME TO RISE, REVOLT AGAINST ALL FEMALES

There might be a reply to this from the female side as well as one of my female friends wants to defend her side. Let’s see

All Males Who Are with Me & All the Females Who Hate Me Now

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Till Next Time

X Y’All