Men: The Oppressed Souls - A Reply!

Hello Everyone!!

On the night of February 7th 2012 I wrote a humor blog " Men : The Oppressed Souls" http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2012/02/men-oppressed-souls.html 

The blog was a huge success among my male compatriots while equally the sarcasm never set in for the girls and some even went as far as started abusing. I promised back then a reply from the women's side for that blog and FINALLYYY one of my very close friends "Nandana Baji" has come up with a reply. Its a brilliant reply but shows that even she felt the sting of my sarcasm ;) .. Hahaha! Now I will shut up and following is the reply. Enjoy!

Balance ~ a reply to “Men: The Oppressed Souls”

To “Syed's Xtreme Shenanigans” fans, I would begin with apologizing for being so late on my “promised” reply to the blog “Men: The Oppressed Souls”.

Reading it back then I remember laughing on how a man has described his innocence as being the one “oppressed” by the other half of the society, note here I said “other half” and not the other “better half” of the society (pun intended).

The blog describes various points such as speech, teachers, shopping, manners etc highlighting how the world is so unfair to poor males where as females always are on the brighter side in every one’s eyes.

My dear friend, it is because of the perception that you males have made due to which (according to you) we females ALWAYS get to be on the brighter side and it is due to that same perception that you see yourself as PIGS, we have no hand what so ever in this whole controversy. Take for example “well mannered males – a myth” and “Speech” part of your blog: none amongst us girls prefer using abusive language i.e. “Oh crap” or “what the..” (and hey we all know what usually comes next) but if someone from us do utter such an expression in a relative situation then it is you males who HAD to STOP, voicing a comment on “HOW VERY COOL” it is. You see human nature works on the affection between the two genders; it is how balance is maintained. It is in every religion, we shape each other’s side by what we want of each other. Now if your side likes females who are cool because they go “OH CRAP” then that’s what you are going to get. We on the other hand will always prefer males who avoid such stuff, for us males using such expressions will always be “EWWW”. You are not oppressed, we just expect more from you then you do from us.

“Teacher” misunderstanding:  I once again begin by laughing, these teachers you talk about, aren’t they males themselves? (Point made) – You can rename your blog as “Males oppressed by males” or “Boys oppressed by Men”, we females have NOTHING to do with it (honestly). And I personally do know teachers who are fair with boys as well as with girls, I also am aware of teachers being biased towards males rather than females. Sadly this is how our education system is structured; you got to prove yourself worthy of attention. Try being patient, consistent and obedient it shall work IN-SHA-ALLAH.

As for the shopping part of your blog, that’s highly a “narrow sighted” topic. When a girl goes shopping she knows that she might not be able to make it to market after every hour like her brother/father/husband can. She thinks about the stuff she requires and also plans for stuff she might buy so as to avoid coming back to market often. She prefers purchasing all the stuff she requires in one go – stop looking at the bill, we are doing you a favor or else you would be asked to go get the shampoo because we are out of it. As for a male purchasing an expensive perfume, dear friend if you have 4 bottles of branded perfumes lying at home which you keep spraying on your feet so to get rid of the pungent wet feet smell, I do support that purchasing yet another one just because you have to go meet a “friend” isn’t a wise decision. WASTE it is!

“Poondi” is a term I learnt from boys. I often hear boys saying to each other “Poondi karney chal” meaning “let’s go drool over whatever girl passes by”. It is a common activity amongst boys these days, they have poondi points, I remember my university boys who travelled in bus with me requesting the bus driver to slow the bus as it passes by Zawiya academy because they had to check out “bachies”, so Mr blogger keeping in mind what you males do, if we do label you as drooling pigs, it is highly justified. As for us girls, it is true we all have lost “Haya” over males we see on television just because they decipher an image of a perfect soul-mate, an idea all girls “worship” these days. Thing is, if in a society males have lost their serenity then females too will follow the footsteps towards the darker path. Haven’t you heard that Hadith “Tum apni nazrain neechay rakho, tumhari aurat pak baaz rahey ge”. Then again, it is males who paved the first step towards this despicable deed. I feel highly distressed on the current situation where a young boy as well as a girl owns posters of males and females which they proudly display in their rooms and their parents pass by smiling thinking “bachey jawan ho gaye”. This poondi thing that you males invented is throwing our society off balance. It is making this society as a society of OPPRESSED BEINGS! Then again label your blog that rather than how you have labeled.

Shoving females in male-gender: How your blog makes me laugh!! Every single one of us is allowed to have opinions on what so ever they watch. If a certain girl likes Edward Cullen, (no matter how much her ignorance shines by this action), it is her choice. I do however know boys who themselves copy such characters so that they can come in the limelight. Do I not remember an “Edward Cullen” account you yourself shared with me some months back?  It is you males who are trying to be like us, trying to be pretty so that you can be liked by those girls who have hots for men mentioned in your blog. You males try to keep in your gender and worry not about what people are doing or not doing, it’s a phase and shall hopefully pass, about Lady Gaga and all, they use tricks to gain people’s attention and thanks to people like us they get what they want. Male or female, no one usually cares, the songs go on the charts and money is being minted that is what will keep on happening until we start ignoring.

Watching TV: Let your wives work or encourage them for activities that might help the society as a whole rather than leaving them home around this “television”, more over if you do want to watch a live match then promise them that you won’t watch a repeat telecast, you will not listen to the news later on about the same match you watched live, you will in no way read about it in the newspaper tomorrow morning. Older women in our society have very few activities; I am not talking about “work-house chores”, that they get to do a lot but “activities” as in “work that engages their brains”, if they are thinking about that TV serial all day long and you come home ruining their day’s thoughts than you are in trouble. As being man of the house it is your duty to keep her mentally engaged. Now if you can’t provide for her activities, that can keep her mentally healthy, then at least let her watch that tv serial. Oppressed here are those house wives who have nothing better to do then to wait for TV serials. Rename you blog my friend or better, break it in several many blogs.

The purpose of writing this reply to your blog is not to instill an argument but to make clear that man and woman are both a part of this society and play almost an equal part in shaping the perceptions, yet a female by nature can be tended, her behavior can be mended if the males of the society play their part honestly with care and respect for both parts.

Thank you for letting me write this blog, as for readers keep on reading “Syed's Xtreme Shenanigans”, according to me its “first-hand experience” of a talented writer explained in a witty way to keep the readers entertained yet informed about what or what not is happening in the world around! Happy reading!

That's it for this time!
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Till Next Time
X Y'All

Men: The Oppressed Souls

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy Alllllllllllll

I am back with yet another one of my shenanigans. In today’s world I have seen time and time again that males have been called the “bad” part for their behavior with the female species. I have seen that they have been blamed with titles such as “Sexists” and “Male Shovenist Pigs”. They have been called inhumane for the stuff they have done with the females and how they oppress the women of the society and get a better and higher place in the society. While us males have been taught to always say “Ladies first” the Ladies have taken it for granted and started a conspiracy against us. Today I am right here to protest against all those baseless ideas created by the female species of the world who are trying to turn this world against us. My blog this time will be about how the men are actually the ones being targeted by the other gender and the “third” gender too (more on that later). The picture below shows exactly my point

P.S: I AM NOT SUPPORTING THOSE MALES WHO VIOLENTLY BEAT FEMALES AND DO BAD STUFF, BECAUSE LET’S FACE IT THEY ARE JUST A MINORITY. I AM HERE FOR THE GREATER GOOD, THE MAJORITY

1.       SPEECH

First let’s start with the basics as a girl is allowed to speak in any way she wants. She can choose any pattern and style of speech and that is fine but a boy? OH NO NO NO. He has to be polite, well-mannered and gracious during his conversation. A simple example can be the word “CRAP” A girl can go ahead and say “CRAP” out loudly and all the word means is what? She is just trying to say “OH SHIT” in a “cooler” way but a boy gets frustrated and says the same and what happens? Girls all around cover their mouths and gasp “aaahh, did u hear what he just said? OOO EMMM GEEE”

Yes boys do abuse but the females have the boys soooo sure that we are the snoop dog of abusers. The females have us soooo scared of saying anything out of the absolute simplest vocabulary. Even if a guy just wants to say “What the Hell” and he just reaches “What the” and that’s it. People lose their minds, girls start throwing fits and the guy just stands there looking at himself and thinking what he did. Break out of this conspiracy the girls are just trying to take away our vocabulary while they are using the words more than us.

2.       TEACHERS

Not all teachers but there are some and I know some personally as well who would rather give a grade to a girl instead of giving it to one who deserves it. When a girl asks a question then she doesn’t understand and she has the right to ask again and again but if the boy asks a question then he might be asked to ask that question later and if he is lucky enough because the teacher is in a good mood and has his answer questioned then if he doesn’t understand then he is just simply an idiot for not getting it the first time. “Sexist” us?? THINK AGAIN

3.       SHOPPING

A woman goes shopping to buy JUST a nail polish remover and her bill

Nail polish                                           60

Perfume                                              1000

Shampoo                                            250

Etc Stuff                                              500

____________________________

Total                                                  1810

A man goes shopping to buy a 500 Rs perfume but likes another and instead his bill comes out to be

Perfume                                              800

_____________________________

Total                                                   800

There you go my friends and that bill is simply not equal to a good perfume instead it is equal to a 1 hour long lecture by your wife/mother/sister or any other female friend on just how stupidly you spent all the money. She went to buy just a nail polish remover and bought everything else which goes into nothing except that she is buying stuff that will come into use. If you closely watch that bill again THERE IS NO NAIL POLISH REMOVER but a guy spends 300 Rs more than what he was supposed to and he is a stupid spender. SHEESH. We all know women and their shopping

4.       POONDI (GAZING)

Alright a boy looks at a girl and for this the boy is considered to be a jerk as he is looking at girl even for that matter that boy might be looking at that girl because she is about to fall down and was going to warn her or just as a “sister” BUT girls can look at boys all they want and nothing. They can look at boys, point at them, laughs at them, go up to them while they are out with friends in F7 and say “HI BILA….” Ohhh ermmmm I mean like that, you get the “general” idea :P and they can be as innocent as a fallen angel from 7^th heaven but a guy looks at them is called a jerk, points at them is called something I can’t say in this blog because of point 1 above, laughs at them and he is called a stupid male pig and if he goes up to them when they are with friends OR even bump them around the area a couple of time that guy is called following and after that girl. REALLY??

Boys have been labeled as “Poonds” (Starting at other gender) in Pakistan because they look at girls (yes of course they do, some good and some bad) BUT WHY OH WHY are the girls not labeled if they are watching a guy? It is simple because they are the professionals and they ace in this art of Poondi and so clearly they are never caught but don’t hide from me girls. I have seen a lot looking from the corner of that eye. If a guy thinks Emma Watson is good looking then he is a “THARKI” (Learn Pakistani terms by now :P) but when girls do that? If I had a nickel for every time I heard “OH MY GOD ASHEERRRRRRR (the Hamsafar guy)” or “GABRIEL MACHT IS SOOOOOO HOTTTT” I would be wealthy enough to buy my own revolver and shoot some people (Edward Cullen not included because he is not a guy). Ladies this part also comes in watching guys.

5.       SHOVING FEMALES INTO OUR GENDER

I have a single question. Why do girls call some females as males and then start loving them over the extent. That just shows how much females just love themselves and not males actually. Everybody confused which females?? Let me list down

a)      Justin Bieber

b)      Edward Cullen a.k.a Robert Pattinson

c)       Sahir Lodhi

d)      Shaista Wahidi

e)      Maaya Khan

f)       Lady Gaga

No Females, NO NO NO. The above listed and many other people that you have sent into the male gender and started loving them are NOT males. TAKE THEM BACK

6.       WATCHING T.V

This category might come in the older woman but as time is proceeding the females are maturing early on trying to warn up their new ones early about the conspiracy they are running on the men. Most wives have problems with their husbands coming late from work and ask them daily to come early and if they come early and they want to watch some T.V to relax then the husbands hear the all famous dialogue “ALL DAY I WAIT FOR THIS ONE TV SHOW & U COME AT THAT TIME & RUIN IT” Does this fair any resemblance my elder married readers? And if this isn’t enough then if a guy wants to watch a LIVE match, let me repeat it LIVE match then the girls asks us that we can either watch it later on in highlights or see the result on internet. IT IS A LIVE MATCH FOR GOD’s SAKE and if we ask the same from girls to watch their drama on a re run then may LORD be with you.

7.       WELL-MANNERED MALE A MYTH? WELL-MANNERED FEMALE THE WORLD TRUTH?

I think the title says enough what I want to say. Although certain examples can be

MALE                                                                         FEMALE

Driving Bad à STUPID                                                 Driving Bad à COOL

Eating Rice with Hands à PIG                                       Eating Rice with Hands à Old-Fashioned

Snorts in Public à WRONG                                          Snorts in Public à Hygienic

Laughs loudly à WRONG                                             Laughs loudly à Very happy

Stays quiet a lot à RUDE                                              Stays quiet a lot à Humble

I think enough said :P

These are just some of the points that me and my other male friends INSTANTLY thought of and this just not ends here. This is how females are planning a conspiracy against the males. IT’S THE TIME TO RISE, REVOLT AGAINST ALL FEMALES

There might be a reply to this from the female side as well as one of my female friends wants to defend her side. Let’s see

All Males Who Are with Me & All the Females Who Hate Me Now

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X Y’All

Gender Malfunction

Hey Everybody

Yeah I know I haven't blogged since a long time and the reason being that I was busy and a little sick bt well now I am back and since I missed a lot I need to give some shout outs before I go to today's topic

Well Now Its Time To Get Back To The Topic

Transforming Cena Into Today's Male Fashion

WOAH.....EWWWWWWWWW.......LOL........ HA HA HA HA HA HA....... ROFL

Some of the diffrent comments on the above transformation that you people would be giving but what I will say is "Shameful" sure this picture is for joke but its not a lie. This transformation is happening these days as I write this blog

I had the chance to go and visit the clothing shops this end of ramazan for buying stuff for eid and then for my university as it is re opening. Well which shop to go for my eid suit and then I decided "Yes I will go to Junaid Jamshed Yayyyyyyyy" but well as I entered that shop and went into the men side of the store my excitement turned into horror as they had completely transformed Junaid Jamshed into a women clothing store, NOOOOOOOO, How could it be? JJ used to be one of the best men shalwar kameez shop in Pakistan and as I was recovering from the pain the salesman came up to me and said "Should I help you find a suit for your size?" and I was like "huh, dude I belong to the male specimen?" and he smiled and said "Yes I know and these are male clothes" and I looked at the clothing section and then at him like somebody had told me that "Cristiano Ronaldo has become a REAL footballer, or if Pakistan had been rid of corruption and the 'Z' effect" and my horror increased as I looked at the colors of the suit that hung there waiting for me to chose them. PINK , PURPLE , PARROT GREEN , SHOCKING PINK and if that wasn't enough insult to injury then the work on them with the suits laced with shiny pebbles, sparkly stuff and what not and then I actually saw three boys of my age come into the store and buy a kameez like that, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .......... I ran from that store as fast as I could (being a little fat it wasn't that fast as you just imagined) but still pretty fast before the salesman could catch me and transform me as above.

Junaid Jamshed Looked More Like Bareeze (leading women clothing)

Alright I need to calm down.......... phew........ but you gotta understand that was a real close call. I came home and I decided to turn the T.V on just to get my mind away from all this and as I turned on and put GEO on it was near Iftari time and their special transmission started. The host welcomed us and then I noticed his clothes and my eyes opened wide as he was wearing a shocking pink shalwar kameez suit and then I read his name "SAHIR LODHI" so I calmed down a little because its okay for her to wear this because Sahir Lodhi isn't practically a male after all I mean she is a morning show host of a program called "She's on ONE". So I laughed at her and changed the channel but as I surfed the channels I noticed that both genders had taken this "cross dressing" a little tooooo seriously. As women were wearing t shirts nd jeans of dark colors while men were wearing suits of shiny colors nd girly colors. Whats going on with this world. With fashion designers uncontrollable girly hand movements to the models wearing unbelievably stupid clothes.

I mean look at the following pictures

Okay I know this is just to horrific I mean the other day I saw a man wearing a shirt with the tag "7 Reasons for men to wear pink" while all 7 reasons were rather *censored* but still this is just WRONG

The clothes are one place but even the actions of the genders are changing with girls becoming for bold and strong hearted and men becoming more shy and 'soft'. I just get the shudders thinking of such a world. OMG HORROR THE HORROR OF IT

I can't think and write anymore

have to log out

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X Y'All