Main Metro Hun, Main Zaroori Hun! (Poem)

Asalam o Alikum Everyone!

So I am back with a post and since this is on metro bus and also the fact that only Pakistanis will understand it so I will post parts of it in Urdu as well as English.

So after being tortured, beaten and bruised by the construction of this so called "METRO BUS" for almost more than a year now, I argued with some PML (N) supporters about the use of this bus, arguing that Electricity, Water, Gas, Education, Terrorism are much much MUCH bigger problems that needed to be solved as soon as possible instead of wasting money and material on a bus that can be saved for later. Not that its not a helpful project but it can be delayed at the moment. All the supporters said "INFRASTRUCTURE IS IMPORTANT"

OKAY! So Infrastructure is important. Fine! But what about the existing Infrastructure? Is it perfect? Is it perfect enough to the government to build new? Let's have a look shall we? A little poem I wrote, It doesn't rhyme in many places but aah well, I am no Ghalib!

Airport Jaati road par 2 2 inch key garhay hain

Gaariyan neechay lagti hain, baar baar jhatkay lagtay hain

Magar iss par koi nazar nahin, tou mei bhi aankh pher leti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

IJP Road hai jahan hazaaron gaariyan chalti hain

Din main har waqt rush hota hai, raat bhi non stop chalti hain

Magar iss road par aik bhi light nahin, iss baat pey kaan naa dharti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

Dharno nay kiye saaray karoobaar band, hakoomat cheekh cheekh kehti thi

Laugon ka nuqsaan huwa hai, press conference kar key kehti thi

Saal sey blue area ka business tabah hai, iss baat pey kaan naa dharti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

Lahore ko Paris bana liya abb Barakahu ki baari hai

Shehbaz Sharif nay Josh-e-Khitabat main aisi bhi chuss maari hai

Bijli, gas, paani, roads sab tabah magar, iss baat pey kaan naa dharti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

Expressway key baad hai highway aata jahan laakhon laug rehtay hain

Puray highway par aik bhi light nahin, ghup andheray main jaatay hain

Metro ki lights din main bhi chalti hain iss baat pey kaan naa dharti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

Aik saal sey khuwaar huay hain, traffic jams main phans phans kar

Metro bannay waali hai bas iss maheenay main sun sun kar

6 deadlines guzar chuki hain iss baat pey kaan naa dharti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

That's it for me for this time

Don't forget to like my page and give your feedback

https://www.facebook.com/SyedsXtremeShenanigans

Till Next Time

Adios!

Creeps: The Stereotypes 2

Hello Everyone!

I am back with another part of my previous successful blog "Creeps: The Stereotypes" http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2013/07/creeps-stereotypes.html with its Part 2.

Although before the blog I want to say something. Whatever happened in Rawalpindi on 10th Muharram was terrible and shouldn't have happened and we need to see that it was a pre-planned attempt to create sectarian feud in Pakistan. Let's stand up against it and show that we are united! ALL MUSLIMS IN PAKISTAN ARE UNITED! Let's fail their attempt to break down Pakistan.

Now back to the topic!

Girls are still being haunted by guys and "profiles" from all over the place and I searched around and finally through a good source got some more screenshots of Creeps.

1. The Sheikh

Ya Habib! Ya Rafiq! I used to think Sheikhs only buy items but now they are out buying friends on facebook as well? Ouch! Prince Fahad of Saudia Arabia should probably kill himself after this photo leaks out on the internet! Such a low standard for a royalty!

2. Beauty & The Beast

He is basically living in Greece and is a beauty admirer and just can't stand the fact of not admiring beauty when he sees it. I can bet he has a DSLR and he lives in Rawalpindi and the only time he was Greece was under his car.


3. Chor Ki Daarhi Main Tinka (Guilty Conscious) 

Now this guy is trying to explain that he "landed" in that girl's profile by magic and he is not a stalker, pervert or anything, its all just magic how he is attracted to this girl. Btw he has also studied an online course from Hogwarts.

4. No Words!!!

I .............. Okay ............ But .............. WHY? :S

5. The Number Guy

A much more direct and proper approach. Just give in your number and wait for the girl to open her FB inbox and get surprised all of a sudden on discovering the number of a stud and quickly adding it on her mobile and sending in a text. GENIUS! FLAWLESS!

6. Personality Disorder

First he goes all Shahrukh Khan from Kal ho na ho on her and then he goes all Emraan Hashmi from well his every damn movie on her. A clear personality disorder case. Choclate Girl? Seriously bro?

7. Religious Scholar

In a time of crisis this is the kind of religious scholars we need! He is above religions, outer beauty and races. He transcends all boundaries and believes in true relations that are based on heart. 

He is the hero we need but not the one we deserve!

8. Wedding Ad!

A clear wedding ad! DUDE! THIS IS FACEBOOK! What you are looking for is pakistanmatrimony.com

9. O M G !

"U r a wish dat ppl wish for n live in hope of it but only a few can b blessed and i want ...."

I need to stop before I start crying. Isn't he just .......... dreamy?............. Girls?

10. Strangers

Our mom's have always told us to never talk to strangers and probably their mom's told them too! That's why the first thing they have done is to end the "strangeness" between them and the targeted girl! Nice move guys!

That is it for this time! Don't forget to like my Facebook page! & PEOPLE MAKE IT ACTIVE!

https://www.facebook.com/SyedsXtremeShenanigans

Till Next Time!

Stay United! :D

Ending With Some Honorable Mentions!

Pindi Boyses + Army = Sc3N3 aWn! S1r Y3s S1r!

Acrocced?

Poor Bloke!

HE IS THE SAME PERSON! SAME EXACT PERSON IN MY PREVIOUS BLOG! TO ANOTHER GIRL! (WIN MOMENT FOR MY BLOG)

Izzat Daar Bhai Check Karo Zara!
P.S : Booo-Hooo

Pictures Only In Pakistan

Hello Everyone :)

After months of thinking and brainstorming with no ideas I finally managed to pull another idea out of my rusty (writer's block stricken) mind.

When we don't have stuff to write? What do we do? We show the world we see! So here goes my first picture blog with pictures I have taken around Pakistan.

Sarcasm Note : I "DO NOT" Own A DSLR Or A DSLR Page and I still have the guts to take pictures of stuff around and blog about them! BEAT THAT!

First Some On The Lighter Side!

The Lovers Inside Us Pakistanis Just Won't Die

 Vans In The Past "Main Baray Ho Kar Bus Bannu Gi"
Vans Now "Fast & Furious Couch"

 K?

 I Don't Even ..........

 Boys Print Very Wells!

Trust Level : Pindi Boyses

 THIS IS LUMIA!

 Rules Are Meant To Be Broken!

Super Hero Facepalm! (Batman In Avengers For All Those Who Dnt Get It)

Now Some On A Serious Note!

This Is Our Youth! Studying In An Over Night Protest & Not Going Home! NOT That Filth That Talks To Their Girlfriends & Boyfriends At Home All Night! Smoke & Other Stuff!

Our Shops Get New Boards For Valentine's Day But Nothing For 14th August?

A Bathroom Writing!

None Of These Pictures Are Stolen!

Don't Forget To Like The Page!

https://www.facebook.com/SyedsXtremeShenanigans

Till Next Time!

The RoomMate From Hell!

Guten Tag!

The blog has finally arrived

The day has finally arrived

My old room mate (Yes to all those who don't know, I am a hostellite) moved out in the start of January. I spent almost eight and half months with that guy. All the people on my facebook and twitter ( @SohaibX512 ) know how much I used to whine about him. 

Today I take this oppurtunity to describe to you "him"

1. Introduction

Name: Noor Ullah

Age: Above 30

Status: Married With Three Children

Employer: In Some Pak-Iran Gas Company

While the rest information you can take in from the snapshot I once took of his facebook ID when he used my laptop for sometime!

So that gives QUIET a start about his "state" to you people but let me continue. 

P.S: He lives in Lahore but now in Islamabad and is from Karachi!

P.P.S: YES! He is married :P

2. Snoring

This guy was a LOUD snoring machine. I am posting a video which will say it all

P.S: The sounds in the background are of the fan and the cooler and you can still hear him. Imagine sleeping with him in a quiet night of winters with no fans or cooler to bar that sound!


3. Alarm Tone!

What is the MOST disturbing Alarm tone you have heard in your life? Now multiply that with ten, square it, subtract 50 and multiply it by 25 after integrating it with initial condition of x = 25. I searched and I searched days and nights and I bring to you. The ringtone of the Satan himself

Again! Imagine a silent room in the winters in the morning you just slept two hours ago after working at the project all night and are all cozy in your blanket when all of a sudden! *hit the play button*

4. Privacy Issues

Well for all he was, he was a bit too open! Well to be really honest? WAYYYYYY TOO OPEN! He used to talk to his wife all the time in front of me and having a loud voice naturally those conversations would even break the barriers I would try to put on his privacy by wearing ear phones. 

I have a soft spot for Bhabhi (His wife) because the way he fought with his wife all the freaking time. Every time scolding her for the stuff that she didn't even do, trying to make her jealous by telling her stories of girls from office who were flirting on him, always blaming her family and there were hundreds of times I wondered how she bears with this guy. Then again he just didn't fight with his wife, he fought with his mom, his dad and even with the television sometimes.

5. His Pros

Well anyone can't be ALL bad. He had two very good habbits where one was that he was clean all the time and kept the place nice and the second was that he loved food and brought stuff to eat and shared it with me all the time. Remembering the one time when at 2 am he felt hungry and ordered a Pizza for both of us :'D

In the end I would wish him well for his future life

If you are reading this Noor Bhai I am a humor blogger man :P Cut me some slack! You were some great material :P

You sir were a pain but one that I will surely remember for a lifetime.

My first ever room mate!

Ending with a picture of him ...... well let the picture do the talking (censoring for obvious reasons) :P

Don't Forget To Like The Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/SyedsXtremeShenanigans

Till Next Time

X Y'All

Stalking 101

Heyy Alll

Stalking is an art that has been misunderstood by people around the world. It is basically research on people (girls and boys) that has been misinterpreted as spying and now even as a crime. 

As thefreedictionary.com defines stalking as "To pursue by tracking stealthily".

Stealth is considered to be one of the most amazing traits one can have in one's arsenal and if stalking is the prime part of stealth then how can stalking be wrong. Some perverts around the world have just used this art wrong and have given it a bad name. Just like weapons which were used to ensure world peace are now being used as weapons of destruction. The same way stalking has been misunderstood!

Today on behalf of Bilal and I we would like to teach you the art that is stalking.

DISCLAIMER: This course is not for those perverts who will just use these things to search for girls on social networks and search for their pictures. Stalking is an art and it should be given its respect

1. Constant Vigilance All Times

The first and foremost point towards being a good stalker is simple! You have to be vigilant at all times. You can't wait around and let a target come to you. Sometimes you can miss the best of targets if you don't stay vigilant. This is not the same kind of research that you can always come back and find the same. This research changes and updates with time and we have to keep up to the speed of this.

2. Print Screen Is Your Friend

The button on your keyboard that is printed with the letters "PrntScr" is your friend. This maybe not as helpful as a formulae sheet in an exam but sometimes it can come out to be very handy as the evidence in a research.

3. Social Networking Stalking

Now these days the main stalking is happening on facebook and twitter cause basically all of the people are using either of these two networks. The more hidden people use facebook while the more open ones use twitter and those who are leading a double life use both regulalry (including me :P) 

a) Facebook Tickr

The search bar of Facebook is good but for that you have to be in the professional stalker zone to use the search bar efficiently. For this amateur course of stalking I will advise all to be "constantly vigilant" and have an eye on the Facebook tickr. This tickr can let you easily stalk your targets if they are in your friend list. Every activity they do is available on your tickr. They make like pages that will show a lot about them and you can use all this in your research about them. An example can be below where "ONE" of my friends liked a page and was caught :P (Name removed)

b) Tweetdeck

Again searching through Twitter bar takes a lot of practice and I would adivse the beginner stalkers to start with the application Tweetdeck which is available for PCs and Androids. This is the application that will help you find tweets, mentions and followers very easily and quickly as compared to browser Twitter. Got you research project on Twitter? This is the best start to find anything he/she does on twitter. You can even dedicate a coloumn to just their activities. (This part is STRICTLY not for perverts)

4. Google Search

Now sometimes (very rare) do you need to search outside Facebook and Twitter to research for your "Research project" and this is a very amazing tool for research in all fields but it can also be used for researching individuals but this is a very pro level tool and should only be used by professionals or under strict supervision of professional stalkers. Google can take you places but only if you know the right way to use it.

This is it for the first course. I would await all you new stalkers out there to try this and leave feedback and if you want to enroll for regular course then please contact either me or Bilal on twitter

Me --> @SohaibX512

Bilal --> @shbilalm

Till Next Time

Don't Forget To Like The Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/SyedsXtremeShenanigans

X Y'All

PG: Not For Children

Heyyyy Allllllllllll

M Back, after the grueling success of my blog Men: The Oppressed Souls. I have been threatened, abused and applauded by girls all around. Many girls agreed to my point of view easily, some abused me a lot and then agreed to my point of view and some just went on to threaten me :P

Well still waiting for the reply from the Women side, I thought of bringing to you another blog.

Now there is some stuff which were made and brought forward for children and maybe those things look good when you are children but when you look at those things as an adult then if you are a parent or even someone who cares will try to keep the children away from these AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

I List Some Stuff Down

1. BARNEY

"I Love You, You Love Me, We Are A Happy Family, With A Big Big Hug & A Kiss From Me To You, Won't You Say You Love Me Too"

You would just find almost all kids back in the time singing this song and I would want to insult Barney but one of my good friends the Pindi Boy (Hammad) (The best humor blogger in Pakistan) has already done this in one of these blogs and I will instead copy some of his lines.

Barney I will not take this anymore. All those sleepless nights all those nightmares of a purple dinosaur coming in my dreams and hugging me and that tune repeatedly going in my head for 4 years of my life.

I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won’t you say you love me too?

Does no one else find this song psychotically messed up? It has pedo written all over it. And to all the Barney lovers out there. I just have one question for you. Was he just hugging you? Was he just simply and only hugging you? Think about it.

It’s Time to Say No to Barney. Because it’s creeps like him that ruin kids like me.

Each smile on each of the child in his show has a story. A sad shocking story. These aren't real smiles these are artificial smiles. Smiles that cover the emotional scar of what Barney did to these kids. If only they would speak up.


2. SESAME STREET

Sesame street was one of the most popular kids shows when I was a kid and they even translated it for the Pakistani children in urdu with the name "Khul Ja Sim Sim" but now when I see this program as an adult. People think by watching sesame street children will learn how to "count" and "spell" but now I see that sesame street teaches kids other things. Like how to "judge" people and "label" people.

Like they have the above character named "Oscar" and they judge him right in his face. They treat this guy like crap in the entire show

They would be like

The old people: "Oscar you are so mean, isn't he kids?"

Kids: "Yea , Oscar you are a grouch"

HE LIVES IN A DAMN TRASH CAN, what do u expect of him?

These are the kids that walk over homeless people in the streets saying "Get a job grouch"

Sesame street is a terrible place, I never would want to go there. With six foot pigeons walking around the area :/

Then they have this above character and they call him the "Cookie Monster" , ever wondered why he is always hyper and his eyes are popping out?? You know it is not the sugar :P , Ever wondered what kind of cookies is he asking for?


3. DOREMON

If there has been a more annoying show than Doremon then I would prefer to die before watching that show. It has been sooooo much annoying in english and in Pakistan they have dubbed it in hindi. It is pure torture and I am damn sure that they have started showing non stop shows of Doremon in Guantanamo Bay as well. This show only teaches kids how to take shortcuts in real life, how to ditch you mothers by using lies and shortcuts, how to bully your friends and how to talk to a blue creature that lives with you. Learning a lot eh?

4. DORA THE EXPLORER

Okay when I was a kid then my mom didn't even let me play with all the bad kids of the street and look at kids now. They are watching a show and "Idolizing" a cartoon character which is a girl who goes around everywhere without the permission of her parents with a talking monkey?? What the hell are they trying to teach children these days? A fox that loves stealing stuff, stalks Dora everywhere and not even once has Dora tried to tell her parents about it. Cartoons for children?

5. JUSTIN BIEBER

Disney just totally got off the track to make stuff for children when they launched Miley Cyrus to the children and then things started getting worse and then it hit rock bottom when they launched another girl into the society. The girl being "Justin Bieber" . They made this girl to entertain children all around but her first song was about her chasing a girl all around a bar singing "Baby baby baby oooooohhhhhhhhhhh" , I MEAN WTH?? Except for the word "Baby" there is nothing for children to see or "hear" in that song. Things just went downwards from there.


6. INDIAN CRICKET TEAM

Cricket is supposed to be a sport for everyone and including children but then came in the "Indian Cricket Team" and made it a complete adult sports. The pictures are enough said.

7. MALL ROAD MUREE

One of the main reasons behind Mall Road Muree was simple, a place for complete family fun and if as a kid you would look at it as a place with toy stores and arcade gaming but look at it as an adult and it has turned into nothing but a "Poondi" (If you don't know the meaning of this then you still didn't read my Men: The Opressed Souls blog and you don't deserve to know it) spot for boys and girls alike. Pindi boys and girls stand wearing sun glasses in gangs and stay on a look out for good looking girls and boys who are out with family and make them uncomfortable. You really want to drag kids out there?

8. VEENA MALIK

Majority of the kids remember the above for being the host in the GEO show "Ham Sab Umeed Sey Hain" and then look at her as an adult and she has done some "TOP" class stuff after leaving that show. She has ruined the caste of "Malik" 's name. Absolute disgrace and shame and needs to be kept away from children.

9. F 9 PARK

What the F9 park was built for :)

All clean and good family fun :) Kids playing around as parents enjoy the greenery and have a good picnic :)

& Presenting To You, What The F9 Park Is Being Used For

Dun
Dun
Dun

I may be a Maaya Khan hater but really we do need one of her in the F9 park :P

10. LADY GAGA

If you think Miley Cyrus and Justin bieber were not enough for the children of the world to be destroyed and turn into a world of mayhem. Then came "Lady Gaga" , Eminem has seen some REAL stuff in his life and just look at his face in the above picture. You think this "THING" is even anything you would show your kid even kept behind a cage in a zoo?

Well That Is It From This Time

Till Next Time

Most Probably By Next Time I Will Comeback With The Reply From The Woman's Side

DONT FORGET TO LIKE THE PAGE

http://www.facebook.com/SyedsXtremeShenanigans

X Y'All