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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Letter To Indian/Marathi/Tamil Film Directors

Hey

You might not know me but well I have watched your movies A LOT........... Hey hey hey....... Don't get any wrong ideas it wasn't by my consent I travel frequently by a bus service known as Niazi and well they show your movies all the time at high volume so its pretty HARD to ignore those movies and to say the least I have seen from Bobby Deol's absolutely horrifying movies to Ajay Devgan's absolutely comedy ones to the marathi hero one's which I shouldn't even name. Well after watching those movies I noted down some facts and wanted to talk to you about them. Lets go at them one point at a time

1. GUNS

Take a look at it, beautiful ain't it? Alright now let me just share a very very little secret with you. This is called a revolver and the MAXIMUM bullets that it can shoot before it needs reloading is 6, repeat after me S I X. Yes the same number that Shahid Afridi has the most in ODI Cricket, lets do this again just one more time so am sure you have got it. S I X & only 6. Not less than that and not more than that while in your movies the miracle of your revolver is shown when heroes and villains alike start shooting with a revolver and keep on shooting nearly tens and fifties of bullets from a revolver. GUYS ITS A REVOLVER not a sub machine gun get a grip over yourselves

Same case with this gun, this one can only shoot 9 BULLETS until it needs reloading again, I don't know if your heroes and villains are supposed to have mutant abilities to reload the gun but it DOESN'T happen in real life

2. HERO / SUPER HEROES

Alright I need to tell you people that although your heroes are in Marathi movies and Tamil movies but please OH PLEASE THEY ARE HUMAN AREN'T THEY? I mean your heroes can beat the living crap out of 50 plus people at one time, they can deflect bullets from their chests, they can dodge bullets, they can shoot bullets from their fingers without a gun. ALRIGHT after these kinda super powers even The X-Men seem powerless. I mean just take a look at this video


If this isn't enough to kill you laughing and amazed wait till you get a load of this, I mean this Rajnikaanth guy can easily give even Super Man and wolverin a run for their money




Well this is just Toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for even a guy like me to handle. All I can say is ermmmmmmmm ........ Aaaah leave it

3. STORY

Alright your films have emotions, drama, love, romance, dance, songs & people but the only thing they miss are REALITY.
As my upper two videos have already cleared this part as well and if you will defend that MATRIX was also unREAL well people they made it that way not a normal man making tornados from his leg and beating people without moving his back :P

At the end I would like to say that GET A GRIP OVER YOUR SELVES AND MAKE REAL MOVIES

If you wanna make fiction then make em fiction don't put fiction in real life stories or if you want to then please give your movies then genre of Comedy rather than action. Thank you very much

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Till Next Time
X Y'All

Friday, September 17, 2010

My University GanG

Hey All

Today I decided to go of the track and this time and not blog about topics but this time around I will be blogging about people, yes my people, my University friends

My University Friends contains 5 Categories

1. My GanG

2. Bus Friends

3. Soccer Friends

4. Society Friends

5. My Fans :P

I Will Start From Backwards

5. The fans include my debating fans which include a mystery texting girl and some people passing by :P

4. Society friends include those who I have worked with while working on the newsletters , writing club........ prominent among them has to be Nandana Zubair









3. My Soccer friends enlists a list of some brilliant talent of football from majority the 3rd semester their names and their teams. Ibrahim Nawaz (Barca) , Muneeb Telecom & Muneeb Electronics (Real Madrid Fans), Sohail (Arsenal) , Hammad Ali (Arsenal & Barca Hater :P ) and some more. To make my position clear m a die hard Barca Fan with a die hard Cristiano Ronaldo nd Arsen Wenger hater :P

2. Bus Friends are some REAL cool ones, which include a Rapper (Usman) & another Usman from CS a brilliant programmer from CS. Then comes Shehbaz Bhai who is actually senior to me in class but still younger than me so I can call him Shehbaz :P and can't forget Noman a.k.a Nomi the mp3 guy :P , Then in the ladies department the Honorary Mention goes to my almost elder sis Yumna Baji my total total respect for her , then we can include a clothing accessory :P Anam , Lahza baji, Mehwish baji and Scherzade also join the cool people lists without a second thought. My bus no 3 is the best among all buses in the university




















1. Finally down to my gang and those I will describe one by one as they say ladies first so and if I miss someone not my fault those are COPYRIGHTED :P

Maleeha Maqbool a.k.a Genius

Einstein, Newton, J J Thomson, Edison some of the names you have heard in people who were geniuses and did great efforts for science well get ready and meet that girl which taught them in the heavens. Maleeha is an absolute genius as she has been showing throughout the first two semesters and I wish she keeps it up throughout the rest of the semesters and tells us some of her secrets as well while she does this. WAY TO GO girl we are all with you all the wayyy. By the way apart from her genius mind she also has a very caring mind and is a wonderful friend

Omar Farooq a.k.a The Spoiled Kid

From ladies to almost ladies :P ……. Just kidding, Omar is one of the spoiled persons in our group and as spoiled as they get but well however spoiled he is I will never loose hope and will get him straight. I meant nice waala straight. Otherwise Omar is a great person , I mean its just great fun with him insulting him and making fun of him and then looking at his expression just pure priceless. The guy is also a footballer and a Barca fan like me and his favorite player being Lionel Messi. In the end a serious note that he really is a good friend without a doubt

Shaikh Bilal Mohiuddin a.k.a Stand At Ease Major :P

Have u ever seen a decent Metallica fan? NO? How could you have he is right here with me. If you look at him nobody can guess that this guy has even listened to Miley cyrus’s fast songs :P but in real this guy is a real Metallica fan plus a good footballer and an Arsenal fan. Another great friend and some one who I can share my secrets with and a person who I can look at and he can understand what am thinking at the moment and vice versa. Although I gotta say Messi still whupped Arsenal :P

Malik Taimur Ali a.k.a Desi Munda

The desi guy of our group, he is one of those people who has been friends with me from DAY one and has gone without a single problem and I have had some share of problems and friends choices differences with the 2 guys above but Taimur is one of those who has been with me from the start and been my side including Maleeha :) . He is very funny and reply with great points but he is also one of those of whom we make fun of A LOT but he never minds and is a great friend BUT he although being a good defender is a fan of CRISTIANO RONALDO so the rest you can think yourselves :P

Umair Hussain Farooqi a.k.a Buddha Tevez

Got to know him more in the 2nd semester. A real champion footballer and another in the Barcelona fan club. He is the play maker in our team and also the captain and those kinda footballers who are always in the ground exactly where the ball is, a real great friend. Got to know him quiet well as he also joined my bus and we practiced a lot of football and made tactics and formations together. A great friend has some awesome time with him and hope to have him in my friends club for the infinite times to come. His bad habbits? He has left those amazingly. WAY TO GO man

Chaudary Muhammad Hamza a.k.a Shughli Maulvi :P

Alright the last BUT NOT THE LEAST. He is a very religious person but a REAL fun guy at the same time. He is also one of those late comer friends as I got to know him more at the end of first semester but a gem of a friend he turned out to be. Come to him and expect to run him over nd trying to make fun of him thinking he is a guy with a beard? Your wrong day buddy :P . Hamza is a real devil when it comes to devilish thinking and a real angel when it comes to positive thinking. A wonderful friend and a guy who comes in need whenever you want him and especially when I wanted him. Thanks A LOT




Sum it up with the pics with all the other friends mentioned in the other types and all my real close ones

THANK YOU

THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH FOR MAKING MY LIFE SPECIAL :)


Till Next Time

X Y'All

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Gender Malfunction

Hey Everybody

Yeah I know I haven't blogged since a long time and the reason being that I was busy and a little sick bt well now I am back and since I missed a lot I need to give some shout outs before I go to today's topic

Well Now Its Time To Get Back To The Topic














Transforming Cena Into Today's Male Fashion

















WOAH.....EWWWWWWWWW.......LOL........ HA HA HA HA HA HA....... ROFL

Some of the diffrent comments on the above transformation that you people would be giving but what I will say is "Shameful" sure this picture is for joke but its not a lie. This transformation is happening these days as I write this blog

I had the chance to go and visit the clothing shops this end of ramazan for buying stuff for eid and then for my university as it is re opening. Well which shop to go for my eid suit and then I decided "Yes I will go to Junaid Jamshed Yayyyyyyyy" but well as I entered that shop and went into the men side of the store my excitement turned into horror as they had completely transformed Junaid Jamshed into a women clothing store, NOOOOOOOO, How could it be? JJ used to be one of the best men shalwar kameez shop in Pakistan and as I was recovering from the pain the salesman came up to me and said "Should I help you find a suit for your size?" and I was like "huh, dude I belong to the male specimen?" and he smiled and said "Yes I know and these are male clothes" and I looked at the clothing section and then at him like somebody had told me that "Cristiano Ronaldo has become a REAL footballer, or if Pakistan had been rid of corruption and the 'Z' effect" and my horror increased as I looked at the colors of the suit that hung there waiting for me to chose them. PINK , PURPLE , PARROT GREEN , SHOCKING PINK and if that wasn't enough insult to injury then the work on them with the suits laced with shiny pebbles, sparkly stuff and what not and then I actually saw three boys of my age come into the store and buy a kameez like that, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .......... I ran from that store as fast as I could (being a little fat it wasn't that fast as you just imagined) but still pretty fast before the salesman could catch me and transform me as above.

Junaid Jamshed Looked More Like Bareeze (leading women clothing)

Alright I need to calm down.......... phew........ but you gotta understand that was a real close call. I came home and I decided to turn the T.V on just to get my mind away from all this and as I turned on and put GEO on it was near Iftari time and their special transmission started. The host welcomed us and then I noticed his clothes and my eyes opened wide as he was wearing a shocking pink shalwar kameez suit and then I read his name "SAHIR LODHI" so I calmed down a little because its okay for her to wear this because Sahir Lodhi isn't practically a male after all I mean she is a morning show host of a program called "She's on ONE". So I laughed at her and changed the channel but as I surfed the channels I noticed that both genders had taken this "cross dressing" a little tooooo seriously. As women were wearing t shirts nd jeans of dark colors while men were wearing suits of shiny colors nd girly colors. Whats going on with this world. With fashion designers uncontrollable girly hand movements to the models wearing unbelievably stupid clothes.
I mean look at the following pictures
























Okay I know this is just to horrific I mean the other day I saw a man wearing a shirt with the tag "7 Reasons for men to wear pink" while all 7 reasons were rather *censored* but still this is just WRONG

The clothes are one place but even the actions of the genders are changing with girls becoming for bold and strong hearted and men becoming more shy and 'soft'. I just get the shudders thinking of such a world. OMG HORROR THE HORROR OF IT

I can't think and write anymore
have to log out

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Till Next Time With Better Points
X Y'All

Monday, August 16, 2010

Exclusive With Pattinson & Shittiano

Finally I am Back Ladies & Guys, I dnt have any gentlemen reading my blogs so had to write guys. Well I was thinking to you know get ‘in’ with the ladies, I spent weeks thinking how to get a guy like me ‘in’ with the ladies and then it hit me. I decided to interview two people who are in a weird sort of way ‘in’ with the ladies. I mean believe me they don’t have any connection with the ladies what so ever but still the ladies love em and I thought if I could get an interview with them which will surely get me with the ladies

Yes Ladies and Guys I am talking about Robbert Pattinson a.k.a Edward Cullen (RP) & Cristiano Ronaldo a.k.a Shittiano Ro-Naa-Laado (CR0)

X: Welcome To The X Show, Where we call some brilliant celebrities and have a talk with them, after the brilliant success of the show with Sir Arsen ‘Insane’ Wenger now its time to go even bigger. Today 1st guest is none other than the heart beat of the female section of the world and the hate nd beating part of the male section of the world please welcome with a big boo “Robert Pattinson”

RP: Thank you very much for calling me at your show

X: Oh no worries, believe me if I had a choice you won’t be here :P

RP: What?

X: Nothing, dnt want to make you angry and bite with those teeth

RP: Ha ha ha ha, dnt worry I only bite girls

X: Why scared of the men?

RP: No, its something else

X: What? Is it true?

RP: What is true?

X: You and Jacob?

RP: Hey that’s personal stuff man

X: What u and Jacob working in the new twilight movie is personal?

RP: Oh I thought you were talking about something else

X: What something else?

RP: Nothing nothing *makes the puppy dog eyes at me*

X: Dude believe me am not that kind

RP: What kind?

X: A vampire, I am a normal human being what were you thinking you are acting weird Robert

RP: Oh nothing your shirt is nice

X: Ahan m feeling a lil uncomfortable over here

RP: Want me to give you a massage?

X: Oh no lemme call my other guest now, people he is a model and a brilliant and emotional actor but I dnt know how in the hell did he made it to soccer? Yes WOW my audience is so intelligent. It is none other than Cristiano Ronaldo a.k.a Shittiano Ro-Naa-Lado

CR0: Hey *smiles*

RP: Oh you new here?

CR0: You don’t watch soccer?

X: Even if he did, he won’t find you thea, you should ask if he watched the latest Clear Shampoo add

CR0: Yeah it was about football as well

X: Dude Whoopie Goldberg did an add containing a baseball bat doesn’t make her a baseball player does it?

CR0: You are just jealous of my greatness

X: Please you are no MESSI

CR0: MESSI, WHO IS MESSI? MESSI IS CRAP, CRAP I TELLS YA #*$#%$**#$%@%#$$*#@*#*$*#*#*$*#*@*$#**$

*slaps him*

CR0: So where were we?

X: We were talking that Lionel Messi is the best footballer in the world?

CR0: MESSI, WHO IS MESSI? MESSI IS CRAP, CRAP I TELLS YA #*$#%$**#$%@%#$$*#@*#*$*#*#*$*#*@*$#**$

*hits him on the head with the mic*

CR0: So where were we?

X: I asked you that do you think that you can be called a great footballer with a 63% accuracy, you are nothing do you understand?

RP: I don’t think that way, I think Ronaldo is amazing

X: Ermmmmm, nothing forget it I said that we were just discussing how you lost the champions league this year

CR0 starts crying

CR0: it wasn’t my fault, I tried, believe me, I tried mommmmmmyyyyyyy………. I need my mommmmmyyyyy…….. Please stop with the questionsssss L L

RP: I am hea for you

*RP hugx CR0*

*CR0 starts sucking thumb*

RP: Don’t cry papa is here for you, don’t you cry or m gonna give you a lil spanky wanky

CR0: *while sucking thumb* Papa I have been a good boy

X: AHEM AHEM ………MY EYES MY EYES

*faints*

*gets up and sees both of them*

X: Ladies and Gentlemen this show’s video will not be allowed to be on AIR on national television and please don’t try and even search it on YouTube for the sake of humanity

X: I am sure I don’t want any thing to do with the ladies, please ladies keep these two with you and don’t let them wander alone, till next time with something and someone better at least my whole camera crew is almost dead and I am getting out of here. X Y’All


Ending With Beautiful Pictures Of Both :P





Thursday, August 5, 2010

God Bless Pakistan

Hello Everybody

Its been a long time since I wrote another blog but I think its about to time to write a blog..... Actually its more time to pray to ALLAH .......... Its about time we ask for HIS ALMIGHTY's Forgiveness for we need it A LOT

So all please raise your hands to the LORD and pray for HIS forgiveness and beg for HIS mercy although HE is the merciful one and will surely hear our prayers even of sinful people like us. Please OH ALMIGHTY have mercy upon us and save us from all the problems we are having..... Floods , Target Killings , Gang Wars , Flight Destructions , Criminals , No Unity Among Muslims....... Please bring UR mercy upon us, we know we are sinful people and all we deserve is punishment but please forgive us and bring unity among us so that we can unite under the flag of Islam and wait for the leader that you will be sending to us in the form of Hazrat Imam Mehdi (A.S) .......... We all beg you for your mercy

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Tribute To "The Joker"


The character that was created in the dark night of 22nd July 1940 by the genius of a mind that was of Bill Finger and drawn by the hands of Bob Kane turned out to be the character that would replace the words “Evil” & “Psychotic” in the dictionary. The character that took the villainy to a super hero to a new level.

Yes as you have seen the picture above it is about none other than “The Joker”. What a master piece did this character turned out to be, this villain doesn't want money, this villain doesn't want to become the president but what this villain wants is to spread fear throughout the hearts of everyone. Even the police gulp and their heart comes into their throats at the mere mention of his name. The character inflicts pain and sorrow into the hearts of his strongest foes by just using his jokes. Yes you heard me this guy has no super power, he was no big strengths to lift stuff, he has nothing coming out of his hands or eyes but what he does has is the most “EVILEST” and “PSYCHOTIC” mind in his upper portion that was ever created. Even Batman a superhero who also is devoid of any super powers but has taken many big enemies down who had super powers but he also shudders at his name and what he loves most is to joke around. 

Almost everybody knows his comic history that how he came into being like this in the comics and almost everybody saw the movie that was “The Dark Knight”. A movie that turned out to be a mega jumbo super block buster hit and broke all records that Titanic made till now in its first week of business. The late and great Heath ledger did that role and what a splendid job he did, nobody has done it better than him as I have seen that movie now 132 times and I remember each and every dialogue in the style heath spoke it and the success shows as he bagged an Oscar but sad that he couldn't be alive to see this movie’s success and he died 2 months before the release of the movie but do you actually think that it was an accident? 

NO!!! It was the character of the Joker that killed him, two people did the Joker role before Heath and they all ended up either in the Mental Asylum or in a hospital under extreme mental pressure and as Heath was the one who did this role the best he locked himself in a hotel room for two months without any kind of interference from the outside world to reach the Joker’s mind and as he did he lost his own. 

This is what the Joker’s character is about total psycho, evil and diabolic. A sentence that Batman says about Joker a lot “Expect the unexpected from the Joker” and Joker has been the most unexpected of all villains. Joker is crazy and fun sometimes while on the other he is a psycho who loves nothing but to inflict fear into his victim’s hearts. He doesn't use any fancy weapons but instead he tends to use knives. 

He is a patent of DC Comics and DC’s rival Marvel comic’s head said this “We here at Marvel comics have bagged many trophies all around the time for many outstanding comics but what we couldn't accomplish was to create a villain who could stand up to “The Joker” and we still strive to make such a villain but its beyond us to make such evil and psycho again as it was made once and only once”The rivals speak such about this character then just imagine what his supporters think. I for one am his biggest fan ever 

His comics that I recommend everyone to read and are classics. The Killing Joke , The Man Who Laughs & The Last Laugh and please do watch “The Dark Knight”I can continue about him forever but its time I sleep but in the end I have to ask a question but I will let "The Joker" himself ask it which will "PUT A SMILEEEEEE ON YOUR FACE"

Till Next Time

X Y’All



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