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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Pakistani Media : Destroying Pakistan

Heyyyyyyyyy Alllllllllll

I sincerely apologize for my last blog :P It was one of my worst pieces ever but I was sick and when you are sick you can turn some very good ideas into stupid ones :P

Well this time am gonna take it out on the media, I have been trying to control myself on this issue for a long long time but now enough is enough.

Now let me begin and tell their bad points one by one


GEO , Express, Dunya and others might be Pakistani news/entertainment channels but all we get to hear in the news is about Indian film industry. Yes we might not have a film industry of our own but that DOES NOT mean in any case that we start behaving like their slaves. I mean if Emraan Hashmi just reached Pune for the promotion of his next film what does that have to do with us? WHY in the hell is that news in our head lines?? GOD FORBID Is Emraan Hashmi our next President? Or GOD FORBID Is he the solution to our problems? NO, then why the hell does his film promotion get into our HEADLINES? Our news channels have made a mockery out of the importance of headlines and for one thing I don't understand the connection between GEO and Salman Khan's film "Dabanng". Its like GEO's father has invested money in that movie otherwise there is absolutely no reason for GEO to promote that movie that much. EVERY bloody time all I hear on GEO

1. Dabanng 2 shooting will start then
2. Dabanng claims awards here
3. Dabanng claims awards there
4. Munni ki badnaami chal gayi
5. Dabanng this
6. Dabanng that
7. Munni this
8. Sheila that

& if these stupid meaningless news weren't enough for the most stupidest movie ever than they actually played that movie for FATHER's day. FOR GOD's sake GEO people get a life. A movie that has an item song called "Munni Badnaam huwi" was played for Father's day. What a gift for all the father's aint it? Talking about vulgar songs GEO and other channels will not leave a single , repeating not even a single opppurtunity to show a glimpse of the video of Sheila ki Jawani or Munni badnaam. These videos are absolutely explicit and vulgar and while Pakistani media should be the one to completely ban these videos in Pakistan because of our culture and religion but it is the Pakistani media which is promoting it the most. Any mention of Katrina, Farah Khan, Malaika or the movies and they will surely show the videos of these songs. Is this Pakistani?

All we get to watch on Pakistani channels now are Indian films, Indian awards ceremonies, Indian dramas and Indian showbiz news. Every anchor and showbiz person is sooo Pro Indian especially that female Sahir lodhi who thinks he is Pakistan's Shahrukh khan and many others like on Samaa TV comes a crazy lady called Mayaa Khan, she is aboslutely pro indian she actually not just liked and defended what Veena Malik did in India and said that she did not disgrace Pakistan but she also support that Mathira and supports her on doing the bold (in other words vulgar) show at VIBE TV and supports her on wearing short clothes. Well last time I checked this country was still called the "Islamic Republic of Pakistan" but I think our media has forgotten that.



If our headlines being filled with Indian showbiz news wasn't stupid enough , now our headlines contains videos from youtube. Yes am not joking, our HEADLINES contain funny/amazing videos that our news channels pick from youtube and then show it in details. Is this a joke? Are you people kidding me??

Now if our news do contain some Pakistani news like for example a bomb blast just occured now the real fun starts, the news channels will start a race to see who gives out the news first hand to the people. If they win then they will brag about it for a week, now I ask is giving out the news of a bomb blast first is anything to brag about? Are you not humans that you become sad? No no no, our channels would better yet try and brag about them becoming the first to report the incident and in this race what they do is that they give out wrong information. One channel will be reporting different number of casualities which will be different for second channel and which will be different for third channel, just like take an example of recent Karachi killings while one channel said around 36 died one day, other was saying 40 died and other was saying some other number now these 4-5 number difference might not matter to us but have you people ever imagined how much this number matters to all those who are sitting at home waiting for any sort of news from their loved ones who are out there where the incident took place?? Do you know how they would feel when every casuality increases or decreases?? Ever thought you news people?? NO , you would better give it out first rather than giving out the truth after confirming at the very end.

Pakistani media was given freedom to give us the truth but our media has made it into a race and competition and don't care to give out the truth.


Now I ask a question "What is the single , just one good point of conducting these talk shows?" Does it make politicians change their views?? Does it make them accept their mistakes?? Does it make them apologize to the public?? Does it make them to work for the public and finish their problems?? Does it in ANY WAY contribute to find solutions for the problems to a common man? ? The answer to all above questions is "NO".
Why do we watch talk shows? We watch talk shows to watch a good fight or two because all these talk shows do is talk about obvious problems and instead of finding solutions they successfully exceed those problems. The politicians come there, they fight over an obvious problem and don't look for a solution and the problem stands where it was. That is what talk shows do and then these fights are aired around the world now just imagine what kind of an image that leaves of Pakistan in the hearts of foreigners? Will this image be good for our Pakistani brothers and sisters living outside? Of course not BUT our news channels will not see that, they only care about their TV channel's viewership rather than helping Pakistan and they call themselves Pakistan lovers. All I have to say is "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"


YES , you heard me. All TV Channels, anchors & news casters are biased. They have already based in their minds who they have to blame, they don't care about Pakistan. They don't care about Pakistan and they certainly don't care about telling the truth. They only care about earning some money and they are biased. How? Remember the Rangers incident killing that boy in Karachi? Well one of our anchors was the brother of DG rangers and that "Pakistan loving" anchor didn't even conduct a single show regarding this event. Being biased has been linked with exposing government's corruption. Now I am in no wayyy supporting this government but these are two very different things. Nobody has a problem with exposing the government if it is corrupt but being biased has some other dimensions

1. They don't pay attention to the IDP situation in Balochistan
2. They give extraordinary more time to a phone call by a political party leader from london
3. They don't investigate into how a respected person like Hakeem Saeed was killed
4. They play a negative reel one night before the NA-55 elections against Sheikh Rasheed

These points and many more like

1. Morning shows
2. Being anti-Pakistan
3. Never showing all the news like Pakistani media never showed us the reality in Bahrain, how people are going from Pakistan to kill Bahraini people. To get more information on Bahrain issue read this " " MUST READ

Our media would rather show the video of Katrina Kaif dancing half naked than show muslims being killed by our very own Raymond Davis being sent to Bahrain.

I challenge any media personnel from the Taliban supporting Hamid Mir to the job changing Shahid Masood to the properly make up and properly dressed in very expensive clothes but very sad for the nation Mehar Bukhari. I challenge any media personnel to have a debate with me on live TV on this issue.

I agree that Media is one of the most strongest weapon and it can be used to bring revolution, an example can be the long march, without the help of the media it couldn't have been possible but our media would rather promote indian movies than a revolution

These people are not Pakistani , this media is not Pakistani. What they are , they are a shame & disgrace

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Till Next Time
X Y'All

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Lollywood : Behind The Scenes

Heyyyyy Alllllllll

Today am going to tell you guys a little story on my approximately 50 minutes of Lollywood career.
Yes people I have been to Lollywood and to tell you its a very very dark place. DARK INDEED

Everybody was talking about the decline in the cinema and all and people told me to write something for the cinema so I did. I Sohaib Mansoor was gonna take over the Cinema after taking out Shoaib Mansoor. Didn't looked nice to put a guy with the same name as my elder brother out of work but well all is fair in love & war.
So I wrote a patriotic story and got ready to make it all but I needed actors so to pick fresh new actors I launched an audition for new talent to come and prove their talent.

Now begins the darkest 50 minutes of my life and am stating much in dialogues

Me: Send in the first one

First person enters

Me (looking down at some papers) : So your name?
Contestant 1: Kkkkkkkkirrraaann
Me: Kiran you have such a manly voice
Contestant 1: Don ko pakarna mushkil hi nahin, naa mumkin hai
Me (Quickly turning my head from papers) : Shahrukh Khan? OMG Its such an honor
Contestant 1: Ahahahahahahahahahaha (Shahrukh Khan Style)
Me: I didn't knew I would have to end the auditions just after they started I mean.......

I was stopped by my assistant and he said to me

Assistant: Yeh China waala Shahrukh Khan hai
Me: Get Lost That's Sahir Lodhi Man
Contestant 1: Somebody said my name?
Me: So its not Shahrukh khan but his franchise in Pakistan?
Sahir: Ahahahahahahahahahaha (Shahrukh Khan Style)
Me: Stop it you are killing me, so what brings you here?
Sahir: Goooooooood morninggggg, how are you? am fine , so tell me please how are you? tell me tell me tell me, my phone lines are open , you can call or sms your answer to 111-111-103 and you can....
Me (Stopping him): Woah woah woah, Its a film audition not your FM show
Sahir: Somebody is feeling a little down so lets go towards our first track from Shahrukh Khan's movie this song never gets old for me, you want to know a little story?
Sahir stops and lowers head
Me: Love the silence , well you want to apply for which role?
Sahir keeps silent
Me: I think now would be a good time to speak
Sahir keeps silent
Me: For GOD's sake man speak already
Sahir starts crying
Sahir: Nobody has talked to me soo rudely in my entire life
Me: Welcome to the real world bob
Sahir: But you are soooooo mean
Me: Alright dude am sorry now calm down and tell me which role?
Sahir stops crying then
Sahir: O khayi key paan banaras waala, khul jaaye band aqal ka taala oh phir tau aisa karay kamaal

Guards throw him out

Me: Thank GOD thatx over
I took a five minute break and then said

Me: Send in the next one
Shaan enters
Shaan: I was just acting so how was it?
Me: Dude you know its a patriotic movie don't you?
Shaan: Tau kya iska naam Pakistani Gujjar nahin?
Me: For your disappointment it aint
Me: Tum iss film main hogey hi nahin tau role kya karo gey? GET OUT
Shaan: OYEEE Main teriyan nasaan phan deyaan gaan
I take my gun out
Shaan: Bhai main tau mazaaq kar raha tha, abb bhai key saath mazaaq bhi naa karun? Main jaa raha hun

Me: Sheesh, NEXT
Contestant 2: May I andar aaun?
I raise my eyes and as I saw her enter I quickly brought my eyes down
Meera: Hello
Me: Hey, didn't thought I would you meet you here
Meera: Kya? Tum mujhay nahin maar saktay
Me: HUH? Main aisa kyun karun gaa
Meera: You said you would meet me here meaning tum mera gosht banao gey idher
Me: *head desks*
Me: It means mujhay nahin pata tha key tum idher mil jaao gi
Meera: Oh tau you naa english main told karna tha, I samajh english only
Me: Oh-kay, so what is your wish for this film?
Meera: Oh Gods abb main kya kya speakun? Woh kya ghaalib uncle said key "Thousands of desires aisi key each desires par breath out"
Me: What? Oh do you mean 'Hazaaron Khawahishain aisi key har khawahish par dam niklay?"
Meera: Yes yes, now you see how much english comes to me
Me: Ermmmm yea , I can see that
Meera: So when aaun for movie?
Me: Yeah about that, iss sey pehlay key main tumhain bataun kuch khaao gi?
Meera: Nahin main abhi curd khaa kar aayi hun
Me: Oh acha dahi?
Meera: Haan haan wohi dahin
Me: Its dahi
Meera: Haan naa dahin
Me: Aaaaaahhhh , dekho meera tumhain yeh role nahin milsakta
Meera: What? Why? How? Me? You? But? See? Free
Me: Woah woah, saari english aaj hi khatam karni hai, but please you cannot get this role. Thankyou
Meera: FINE me jaaying in meri centro
Me: Centro meaning? Darmiyaan main?
Meera: Meri gaari centro

Me: Good Riddance, please bring in someone sensible next

Contestant 3: May I come in?
A girl enters
Me: Sure why not
Me: So name?
Looking down at papers
Contestant 3: Veena Malik
I quickly get up take out my gun and lodge three bullets into her head

Me: clear the body and NEXT
Another girl enters
Contestant 4: Hello sir
I look up
Me: NO SAHIR , I Told you , you cannot get a role
Sahir: Pleaseeeee
Sahir: See I can also play as the heroin
Me: Yeah that comes natural to you, your sister Shaista is more of a man than you

Shaista Enters
Shaista: Did somebody call my name?

Reema Enters behind her
Reema: Shaista line main lago, meray sey pehlay andar kaisay aagayi?

Meera enters again
Meera: How inko chance get and mujhay not?

Sahir starts dancing and singing "Sheela , Sheela ki jawaani"

Shaista, Meera & Reema start a cat fight

I was about to go mad when I heard a laugh, a laugh soooo horrifying that I couldn't even think that it was her, I had heard about this woman that just by looking at her you can become a walking Lindsay Lohan regardless that you are male or female. I ran from that place as hard as I could man. That was all that I could take of Lollywood. Those were my fifty minutes in Lollywood.

I am shivering after telling the story again


Nd am ending with a picture of that "thing" that came in the end , BUT PLEASE VIEWERS , VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK



That is all for this time
X Y'All

Monday, July 4, 2011


Heyy Allllllllllllll

Yes I am back but this time not with anything funny but with an extremely serious topic. I heard from people about an uprising in Bahrain, I quickly searched the internet to find some very horrifying facts how Bahrain government was trying to suppress a totally peaceful protest. The methods reminded me of Al-Qaeda once again was it their return? Will Bahrain be the next Afghanistan? Read the below facts and then if you have the slightest of heart then retweet this on Twitter, share this on Facebook, tell to people to read it and spread the news as much as you can. Raise your voice against it.

First let me introduce to you what the situation in Bahrain is

Bahrain is a Shia majority country with a 75-80% population consisting of Shias. While Bahrain government claims that they follow democracy the real situation behind the scenes is that Shia which consist of 70-80% of the population have only 18 seats in the Parliament out of 40 while the Jews which are only 70-80 in number. JUST 70-80 people have their own seat in the parliament BUT those who consist of 70-80% of the population have just 18 seats out of 40?? That's real democracy?? The current Prime Minister of Bahrain Sheikh Khaleefa Bin Salman has been in power since 43 years, yes you heard me right people 43 YEARS during this time 8 U.S Presidents have been changed during his time.

Now the Shia population of Bahrain started a peaceful protest to obtain real democracy and the removal of the prime minister, the protest as stated above was completely peaceful and to the extent that protesters gave roses to security guards, they have never carried any sort of weapons not even a stick with them as all the videos and photos clearly show and how the Bahraini government replied?? Read the following

1. Economy Collapse

Shia Community in Bahrain is not allowed to have suitable Jobs and is restricted in every way possible to take part in economic activities of the country. Especially they are not allowed in certain ministries like interior ministry, foreign ministry etc. So no Shia can join army or be a police officer.

2. Brutal Crackdowns

I am just uploading one video here so that people can get the general idea of what is happening in Bahrain

Disturbing?? Had enough??

Now multiply this by thousands because this is just one person, Bahraini government has called in support from all over which includes Saudi Arabia & Pakistan. They have made attacks on peaceful protesters, they have done brutal crackdowns at Shia homes after midnight till dawn. Sometimes even almost complete Villages were swiped in these crackdowns. They would go inside houses beat the family, beat women and children, rape them and sometimes even kill them. One public example is regarding the family of Salah Khawaja (human right activist), his house has been raided in the middle of the night, the men went in to the house started beating his wife, pulled her hair & beaten her up so badly that her ribs got broken.
Every night after 3 A.M these forces would run in Shia populated areas and ask for names anyone having a name which includes Ali, Jaffer, Raza, Hussain, Hassan e.t.c has to go through a very brutal process. They are either tortured and captured or killed at spot, because of these many Sunnis who had their names as such have also been brutally martyred or captured.
In one place this happened that many protesters made a plan to climb on their roof tops and give Azaan at 3 A.M to show their solidarity and unity through social networks. When that day came every person who came up on his roof top to gave Azaan was martyred by the snipers which were posted there by the government. They then marked those homes and then did brutal crackdowns on them.
Girls and boys are abducted from school and taken to police stations where they are beaten and tortured, hundreds of videos can be found on youtube
Bahraini government is hiring Pro-Wahabi forces from everywhere. Saudi Arabia a nation which would never send their army to help any Muslim nation such as Lebanon or Palestine but this time Saudi government send their forces and tanks to kill Muslims instead. Pakistani government has also sent many forces which are at the moment killing people there. Is this what humanity has come to? Are these Muslims? I leave this question for you to answer

3. No Hospitals For The Injured

Yes if you didn't understand from the header than understand it now. If those crackdowns, those beatings, those rapes are not bad enough then yes all the forces of Bahrain have surrounded all hospitals and has denied to help any injured and any hospital or medic that tries to help the injured is dealt with same severity as the protesters. They are severely beaten, captured and taken to jail.

This above picture shows on of the medic of Sulamaniya hospital who was trying to help the injured and what did the Bahraini forces do? They broke his neck, many doctors and medics have been released after a month of beating and torture of helping the injured.

In Bahrain even helping the injured is a crime?
Did our HOLY PROPHET (P.B.U.H) teach us this? He (P.B.U.H) taught us to be even very easy on our enemies and Bahraini government are killing and torturing Muslims and their own people?

Some western journalists have spoken about it like Chris Rock the New York Times journalist states,
“I was there with a friend of mine, & in the middle of the Manama, someone pointed a gun to my friend’s face. My friend showed his American passport & as soon as the personnel realized that the person with whom he is dealing with is an American citizen, the officer came to him & said we love Americans, we have no problem with you guys, we hate Shias & the way he was talking about shias, it was full of hatred & disgust as they are hunting down the rats.”

Now I ask EVERYONE and the Bahraini government

Is this democracy? Are you following Islam and the teachings of Islam?

4. What We Need To Do?

People don't know what is happening in Bahrain?
If you are a Shia reading this then spread the word because Shias are being killed there

If you are a Sunni reading this then spread the word because Sunnis are being killed there

If you are a Muslim reading this then spread the word because Muslims are being killed there

If you are not a Muslim but you are a human, spread this because this is not Human behavior and is against all human rights and humans are being killed there

As I said above retweet this on twitter, share this on Facebook, scrap it on Orkut, My space it, blog it, email it, text it. I don't care if you copy this blog and paste it and spread it by your name. Spread the word as ANY WAY as you can. If you read this and don't spread the word than all I can say is that you are not human.

All Pakistanis were very angry when Raymond Davis came to Pakistan and killed 3 Pakistanis now Imagine thousands of Raymond Davis have gone from Pakistan and Saudi Arabia and are killing the Bahraini residents.

You want any more material regarding this matter, you want to send email to higher authorities and have or want any email addresses or want to join me in this act of spreading the word than you can contact me on my email





Look At The Brutality

Is anybody carrying a weapon?

Is this the way to take on unarmed innocent people?