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Thursday, July 25, 2013

Men: The Oppressed Souls - A Reply!

Hello Everyone!!

On the night of February 7th 2012 I wrote a humor blog " Men : The Oppressed Souls" 

The blog was a huge success among my male compatriots while equally the sarcasm never set in for the girls and some even went as far as started abusing. I promised back then a reply from the women's side for that blog and FINALLYYY one of my very close friends "Nandana Baji" has come up with a reply. Its a brilliant reply but shows that even she felt the sting of my sarcasm ;) .. Hahaha! Now I will shut up and following is the reply. Enjoy!

Balance ~ a reply to “Men: The Oppressed Souls”

To “Syed's Xtreme Shenanigans” fans, I would begin with apologizing for being so late on my “promised” reply to the blog “Men: The Oppressed Souls”.
Reading it back then I remember laughing on how a man has described his innocence as being the one “oppressed” by the other half of the society, note here I said “other half” and not the other “better half” of the society (pun intended).
The blog describes various points such as speech, teachers, shopping, manners etc highlighting how the world is so unfair to poor males where as females always are on the brighter side in every one’s eyes.
My dear friend, it is because of the perception that you males have made due to which (according to you) we females ALWAYS get to be on the brighter side and it is due to that same perception that you see yourself as PIGS, we have no hand what so ever in this whole controversy. Take for example “well mannered males – a myth” and “Speech” part of your blog: none amongst us girls prefer using abusive language i.e. “Oh crap” or “what the..” (and hey we all know what usually comes next) but if someone from us do utter such an expression in a relative situation then it is you males who HAD to STOP, voicing a comment on “HOW VERY COOL” it is. You see human nature works on the affection between the two genders; it is how balance is maintained. It is in every religion, we shape each other’s side by what we want of each other. Now if your side likes females who are cool because they go “OH CRAP” then that’s what you are going to get. We on the other hand will always prefer males who avoid such stuff, for us males using such expressions will always be “EWWW”. You are not oppressed, we just expect more from you then you do from us.
“Teacher” misunderstanding:  I once again begin by laughing, these teachers you talk about, aren’t they males themselves? (Point made) – You can rename your blog as “Males oppressed by males” or “Boys oppressed by Men”, we females have NOTHING to do with it (honestly). And I personally do know teachers who are fair with boys as well as with girls, I also am aware of teachers being biased towards males rather than females. Sadly this is how our education system is structured; you got to prove yourself worthy of attention. Try being patient, consistent and obedient it shall work IN-SHA-ALLAH.
As for the shopping part of your blog, that’s highly a “narrow sighted” topic. When a girl goes shopping she knows that she might not be able to make it to market after every hour like her brother/father/husband can. She thinks about the stuff she requires and also plans for stuff she might buy so as to avoid coming back to market often. She prefers purchasing all the stuff she requires in one go – stop looking at the bill, we are doing you a favor or else you would be asked to go get the shampoo because we are out of it. As for a male purchasing an expensive perfume, dear friend if you have 4 bottles of branded perfumes lying at home which you keep spraying on your feet so to get rid of the pungent wet feet smell, I do support that purchasing yet another one just because you have to go meet a “friend” isn’t a wise decision. WASTE it is!
“Poondi” is a term I learnt from boys. I often hear boys saying to each other “Poondi karney chal” meaning “let’s go drool over whatever girl passes by”. It is a common activity amongst boys these days, they have poondi points, I remember my university boys who travelled in bus with me requesting the bus driver to slow the bus as it passes by Zawiya academy because they had to check out “bachies”, so Mr blogger keeping in mind what you males do, if we do label you as drooling pigs, it is highly justified. As for us girls, it is true we all have lost “Haya” over males we see on television just because they decipher an image of a perfect soul-mate, an idea all girls “worship” these days. Thing is, if in a society males have lost their serenity then females too will follow the footsteps towards the darker path. Haven’t you heard that Hadith “Tum apni nazrain neechay rakho, tumhari aurat pak baaz rahey ge”. Then again, it is males who paved the first step towards this despicable deed. I feel highly distressed on the current situation where a young boy as well as a girl owns posters of males and females which they proudly display in their rooms and their parents pass by smiling thinking “bachey jawan ho gaye”. This poondi thing that you males invented is throwing our society off balance. It is making this society as a society of OPPRESSED BEINGS! Then again label your blog that rather than how you have labeled.
Shoving females in male-gender: How your blog makes me laugh!! Every single one of us is allowed to have opinions on what so ever they watch. If a certain girl likes Edward Cullen, (no matter how much her ignorance shines by this action), it is her choice. I do however know boys who themselves copy such characters so that they can come in the limelight. Do I not remember an “Edward Cullen” account you yourself shared with me some months back?  It is you males who are trying to be like us, trying to be pretty so that you can be liked by those girls who have hots for men mentioned in your blog. You males try to keep in your gender and worry not about what people are doing or not doing, it’s a phase and shall hopefully pass, about Lady Gaga and all, they use tricks to gain people’s attention and thanks to people like us they get what they want. Male or female, no one usually cares, the songs go on the charts and money is being minted that is what will keep on happening until we start ignoring.
Watching TV: Let your wives work or encourage them for activities that might help the society as a whole rather than leaving them home around this “television”, more over if you do want to watch a live match then promise them that you won’t watch a repeat telecast, you will not listen to the news later on about the same match you watched live, you will in no way read about it in the newspaper tomorrow morning. Older women in our society have very few activities; I am not talking about “work-house chores”, that they get to do a lot but “activities” as in “work that engages their brains”, if they are thinking about that TV serial all day long and you come home ruining their day’s thoughts than you are in trouble. As being man of the house it is your duty to keep her mentally engaged. Now if you can’t provide for her activities, that can keep her mentally healthy, then at least let her watch that tv serial. Oppressed here are those house wives who have nothing better to do then to wait for TV serials. Rename you blog my friend or better, break it in several many blogs.
The purpose of writing this reply to your blog is not to instill an argument but to make clear that man and woman are both a part of this society and play almost an equal part in shaping the perceptions, yet a female by nature can be tended, her behavior can be mended if the males of the society play their part honestly with care and respect for both parts.

Thank you for letting me write this blog, as for readers keep on reading “Syed's Xtreme Shenanigans”, according to me its “first-hand experience” of a talented writer explained in a witty way to keep the readers entertained yet informed about what or what not is happening in the world around! Happy reading!

That's it for this time!
Keep liking the facebook page!

Till Next Time
X Y'All

Saturday, July 6, 2013

The Day Islamabad Ran Out Of Food!

As the clock struck 5 pm, the four of us left our class room holding our stomachs as all of us were starving. We decided to go out and get ourselves a good heavy meal so we headed towards our first stop which was “Qeemay waalay naan” , we reached F-8 and ordered four special Naans and were waiting for the delicious naans to come but the waiter came back only to tell us that they had just ran out of Qeemay waalay naan.

Disappointed and rejected we got up and quickly chose our next food option to be scrumptious Chappal kabab of “Sufi” restaurant in F-10, we quickly hired a taxi and raced to the venue only to learn that the restaurant only serves the Chappal kababs in the evening. Looking at each other with hunger filled faces we made our decision to trust the only chain a student can depend its life with – SAVOR.

We quickly hired another taxi and made our way to Savor near double road and were happy that finally we will be in no time munching on the unlimited rice offering but when we got near the area we found out that due to a cricket match in the adjoining cricket stadium the restaurant was not serving today.

The frustration began to grow on us and we decided that enough is enough, now we will eat a huge meal or we won’t eat at all. So we decided to ditch the restaurants and quickly made way to one of the friend’s home who was alone at home and was very close to Savor. We quickly did a search of the ingredients available to us and deciphered on what sort of dishes we could make out of them. After a quick search of food items from Food Panda’s website we decided to make our very own bread pizzas and spaghetti.

The next hour was almost a blur as our energies came dropping down in the heat of the kitchen and adding to that was the fact that we were hungry since the morning, but finally after lots of hard work we completed our task with three of us working in the kitchen the fourth went to the market and got the soft drinks and then we ate. We ate with our lives depending on it and didn’t stop until every single molecule of food had been swallowed by us. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

The Final Product! VICTORY!

P.S: Only three pizzas cause one of us doesn't like cheese!

Till Next Time
X Y'All

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Creeps: The Stereotypes

Hello Everyone

Its time, I am back! Its been ages since I wrote a humor blog, the last one being wayyy back in January. Mechanical engineering degree was in its final moments and now its complete :) THANK GOD! I am officially an Engineer now :)

First things first! I finally hit the 1 LAKH ALL TIME VIEWS POINT! So I decided to make a facebook page for my blog cause even my fridge has one! So go and hit like here " "

Now let's get to the topic. Girls from all over the world have been a target for perverts on social networking websites. While some "abnormal" girls actually enjoy this crap, I contacted the "normal" ones and asked them to share their experiences with me regarding perverts sending them messages over social networking websites. The results ..................... Well the top 10 I found are below!

Note: I am erasing the name of the girls but not erasing the name of the guys!

1. The Fraandship Me

 These are the basic types, asking girls all the time for Fraandhips and accepting their request. Even to the extent that they even keep asking girls to add them on Twitter. *Face palms*

2. The Despo Routine

Hasnat Ali here is showing a perfect example of desperation. He shows that he is in desperate need of a friend like all the boys in the world just died yesterday and only this girl can fulfill the void that is his life now without a friend and within this he also puts words like "Hook up" and "night stand" , lets all stand up for this genius.

3. The Suggestion Maker

Now he is the guy who is trying to suggest his way into a girl's friend circle and one thing we all know is that girls HATE suggestions. Plus this guy is totally opposing what he is saying while saying that jeans suits her in the first comments and later asking her not to wear jeans. We have a short term memory loss genius at our hands.

4. The Nice Guy

How to get a girl to become your friend? SIMPLE! Show her that you are a nice guy and my friend over here is trying this, introducing his name like his profile doesn't show it already and assuring that he is a nice guys over and over again. Seriously? If it worked then tell me too.

5. Straight To The Point

Here our friend is going straight to the point and is sooooo honest, even telling her right away that he likes her sooo much but well not honest enough to show even his own name or profile? He names his profile LIFE? Where we all tell him that he should get one instead.

6. The Lover

Now this guy hot soooo heart broken that he actually had to delete his facebook account after the rejection from this girl! These people show that they have totally fallen for the girl and can't be more helplessly in love and if you ask them what love is. They will surely answer "Jo Amir Khan ko Kareena Sey Huwa Tha In 3 Idiots" SHEESH!

7. tH3 g3n1u$ p1nD1

It took me hardly 5 minutes to write the complete blog but it took me a whole minute to write just the title of this one. The Pindi boyses know their shit when its comes to writing like the guy has written above. Its just v3Ry $sPh1sTiC@t3D !!!

8. The Nelson Mandelas

After what he has said, do I need to say more??

9. The Sympathy Votes

His friend is sick and all he is doing is going around messaging girls on facebook while he talks about his friend in only 30% of the message and in 70% he is actually talking to the girl

10. The Emotional Blackmailer

These people try and emotionally blackmail the girls into sending just one message. Clever girls don't fall for it and they end up deleting their accounts from Facebook. 

After all these I am soooo glad that I am a guy and don't have to deal with this crap every single day. My heart goes out to all the girls out there who have to deal with this crap day in and day out. Ending this blog with some honorable mentions of messages that I also want to show to my readers :)

The Shair! (Poet)

The Vulgar! (but a genius reply)


He shows that he hates her but still he couldn't restrain from messaging her!

Trying to be Sarcastic! (Fail)

Thats it for this time!
Again please like my new page!

Till Next Time
X Y'All