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Saturday, November 5, 2011

Mysteries Revealed 2

Heyyyyyy Alllllllllllllllll

M Backkkkkkkkkk ........... Yes some people don't like me saying "M BACK" in my every blog but I deserve to write in this one because I am writing after a WHOLE 4 WEEKS so I am writing this.

Well had exams....... DON'T ASK

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Was out of topics to write on and never had a second part to a blog before so I thought.

So After Mysteries Revealed Part 1 :

I Give to you 10 more mysteries in Mysteries Revealed Part 2:

1. Justin beiber? A Really Bad Singing Girl Or A Good Looking Midget?

Now this mystery has been circling in my mind from the first time my ears had to go through the torture that was "BABY BABY BABY OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Why is a girl trying to hit on another girl? Oh wait no its just a good looking midget trying to set his life, no wait its a girl, no a midget...... AAAHHHHH MY EARSSSSSSSSSSS *jumps and unplugs the television*. I could've just switched the channel with the remote I had in my hand but this is what Justin's music does to you. So am giving a picture? Who can tell me? Bad singing girl or Good looking Midget?

2. Is Twilight's Edward Cullen A Vampire?

I had never read the books and had only heard about a "Vampire" named Edward Cullen and it was all good. I was also writing a Vampire novel in those times and thought of him as competition so started working hard on my novel and then came the movie. I never wanted to read the book so I "Downloaded" the movie and watched it. By the end of that movie I was sure that what Stephanie Mayer meant by the scene when Edward tells Bella that he is a vampire was this

Bella: You are impossibly fast and strong, your skin is pale and ice cold, your eyes change color and sometimes you speak like you are from a different time, how old are you
Edward: 17
Bella: How long have you been 17?
Edward: A while
Bella: I know what you are
Edward: Then say it out loud
Bella: You are a vampire
Edward: Are you afraid?
Bella: *Turns around* NO

Now read this complete conversation and just replace the word "A Vampire" with "High on cocaine". See now it completely makes sense doesn't it? So NO PEOPLE Edward Cullen is NOT A VAMPIRE
Vampire's DO NOT SPARKLE & JIGGLE, he is more of a Pokemon than a vampire, remember Jigglypuff??

3. wHy d0 PpL Wr1t3 L1k3 d1s?

It took me five minutes to write the above line, MAN it was annoying. I still to this date can't understand how and why people write like this? I mean an "e" is an "e" not 3 , "i" is "i" not 1, "o" is "o" not 0 and the continuous alternations between small and capital letters. Sheesh if you would give this much hard work in your studies then you can achieve greater wonders.

4. Why Do Men Wear Pink?

Always has been a mystery and always will be, WHY? WHY? WHY? When did Blue, Green, Maroon, Black, Grey, Brown and all other dark colors not be enough for you people? Why did you have to chose pink, purple, shocking pink, golden and other sparkling colors? For all those Robert Pattinson, Justin Beiber and Cristiano Ronaldo inspired men a.k.a women. Become a man. NOT A WOOOO-MAN

5. How Is An Indian Film Hero A Professional Fighter, Poet, Singer, Dancer All At The Same Time?

Scene 1:
The hero composes and writes a complete song and sings it amazingly (if not sung by Hamesha Reshamiya) with great dance to impress heroin

Scene 209:
He composes and writes a duet song with the heroin and then sings it greatly (if not sung by Hamesha Reshamiya) and dances with her as well

Scene 35789:
Villain comes in and does something and hero goes out to beat him and his thugs and in doing so he becomes an invincible super hero and does all this

I mean which men in the world are capable of doing all this together? I have never understood Indian movies ever and I can't as well. Whenever there is a song in an Indian movie then where is the music coming from? Why do they never show the band playing it? If the hero and heroin are singing a song at a very beautiful valley then did they decide to do it there? How did they completed the setup of background music? and if their is a song in a party then how does everyone in that party know the complete dance steps of that song and dance behind the hero and heroin while that song has never been sung or heard before?? AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH TOOOOOO MUCH CONFUSION

6. Why Don't Women Rule The World?

If they did then the world would be something like this


7. Why Do People Update Facebook Status On Their Every Move? 

" _____________ is going lunching"
" _____________ just got back from university, going to sleep a while then come back"
" _____________ just got back from the bathroom"
" _____________ phew ate, i was hungry now eating fruits"

Tired of these status updates?? Man I don't know why some people feel the need to tell everything on their facebook, from their eating, to sleeping, to eating again to trashing away what they ate. It gets HELL LOTTA annoying and then all you need to do is click in the upper right corner of that status and click Hide All by _____________ :P :P

8. Why Do People Like The Movie "Dabanng"?

The final thanks to the Niazi bus service and I HATE THEM FOR THIS. I had to see this movie twice and once this movie ended the conductor would play its video songs over and over and over again. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Terrible movie, terrible acting, terrible action, terrible dialogues, terrible songs, terrible story and terrible just pure torture. I still don't know how this movie got such a great response and won sooooo many awards beating "3 Idiots" this just shows the amount of illiteracy in Pakistan and Indian people. A literate person will never watch this movie and if you liked this movie and call yourself literate. My friend its about time you reconsider

Enough for funny mysteries , time for 2 serious topics

9. Why People Buy Mickey Mouse/ Ghauri Missile & Pictures Printed Pakistani Flags?


NOT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

I have seen people "molest" yes I am using the word "molest" the Pakistani flag that is the crescent and the star in the green and white with pictures of the "Ghauri Missiile" , "Quaid-e-Azam" , "Allama Iqbal" and the WORST "MICKEY MOUSE" I mean what the hell does Mickey mouse has to do with Pakistan? Did Walt  Disney created Pakistan? For GOD's sakes people, drawing anything over a flag of a nation is complete INSULT of that flag and is completely against the respect of that flag. I request all people to NEVER buy these kinds of flags as they never show love for Pakistan

10. Why Do People Celebrate On 9th & 10th Of Muharram? 

I always wanted to talk on this topic and today I will. I may be from Fiqah-e-Jaffriya but that doesn't mean that only Fiqah-e-Jaffriya people mourn the martyrdom of Hazrat Imam Hussain (A.S), his family and followers who laid their lives and everything they had to save Islam. No all other Fiqahs also mourn this sad occasion but I have seen people around Pakistan who use these 2 days (9th and 10th Muharram) as they are as holidays to enjoy and party. People take their families to Muree to enjoy, people flying kites everywhere, gardens filled with people playing and joking. Really?? I really don't understand why Muslims of all the religions in the world do it? Even non muslims respect Hazrat Imam Hussain (A.S) but our own Muslims behaving as such for the family of Holy Prophet (S.A.W) ??


Well That's It For This Time
Parts 2 & 3 dedicated to a Notoriously Zesty (NZ) friend :P :P

Stay Safe

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X Y'All

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Travelers : The Stereotypes

Heyyyyyyyyyyy Allllllllllll

I am backkkkk , Its been long but really had no good topic to write on and just when I was sharing a life incident with a friend of mine thinking that I have run out of stereotypes to describe then boom.......... My friends comes with the idea which I have personally experienced in.


Been travelling throughout from a luxury Honda to a Cabin train to an AIR bus to a Niazi bus service. I have traveled in all of them and I have seen quiet A LOT of these travelers. So here it goes


Lets start with the biggie :P . They are the ones not at fault but basically they are just not a part of modern world and when they come in those areas then scenes are created which are rather hilarious for the people around. Alright enough with the high words and lets get down to biz. These people do insane and hilarious things not knowing of the fact that they are becoming the laughing stock of the area. Two personal experiences can explain better

Experience A (On A Flight To Dubai)

Flight goes as usual and the seat belts signs are taken off everyone removes their seat belts except the guy sitting next to me. Thinking he must be extra protective, I ignore it. Then I need to go to the washroom but he needs to get up in order for me to get to the aisle (since me being fat, i know i know, you guys don't need to say it) but he just doesn't get up. Now I think of it as rude but well I push my way through and then come back the same way. Once the flight end I take off my seat belt and stand up (conversation)
Me: Bhai jaan flight khatam hogayi uth jaayain (Bro the flight's over , get up)
Him: Bhai aik masla hai (bro there is a problem)
Me: What?
Him: Sir jee yeh belt kaisay khulti hai (How do you open the belt) :P

When I opened his belt the guy basically RAN towards the washroom because he was holding it in since the start of the flight :P

Experience B (On a bus that goes ONLY to Faisalabad)

Me: Sitting in my seat
Paindu: Aap bhi faisalabad hi jaa rahay hain? (are you going to faisalabad as well)
Me: Errmmmm yeaa
Paindu: *to guy sitting next to me* Aap bhi faisalabad hi jaa rahay hain? (are you going to faisalabad as well)
Person: Haan (yeah)
Paindu: *to guy sitting at the back* Aap bhi faisalabad hi jaa rahay hain? (are you going to faisalabad as well)
Person: Yeah

and this thing continued for 5-10 more passengers :P

So basically I think you guys got the point :P


Friend 1: *gets in car* This trip is going to awesome isn't it?
Friend 2: *gets in car* oh yea we are gonna have so much fun once we get on the road
Friend 1: *starts car & drives* man finally our road trip begins
Friend 2: Woooooooooooooo here we goooo

After 5 mins

Friend 1: So where do we start with?
Friend 2: ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzzzzzz

Yes my friends, this is the case with sleepers. They just need a running vehicle and they can sleep like anything. These people are helpless, a running vehicle is like a drug to them. Its going and they are sleeping. Below I share a personal experience with you for the FIRST time in the form a video.

I literally head butted him, hit him with my shoulder, plucked his hair and he still didn't wake up. The final thing I did to wake him up was by holding his breath (Not showing that part because of violent scenes) :P

I think you guys get the perfect point, whatever you do they just won't get up. 

See they just don't care :P


Really you need to be careful, if you see a person talking to a stranger sitting across him then try and get your seat number changed. My personal bad experience quite a few times but those experiences are not to be explained in words. These people can talk ON and ON about stuff that doesn't even makes sense sometimes. I mean seriously what does doing mechanical engineering from NUST is related to eating Puri Chanay at Peshawar Mor?? Confused?? So was I my friends, so was I. These people just talk and they will blab anything in their mouth from studies to work to travel to technology (met few of them) to even their personal life problems (yes I have met these). Five hours is long my friends when sitting with one of these and the NO the solution is not wearing head phones because these people will say "Leave it dude, lets talk" like we are the oldest of friends :P and if they GOD FORBID get a call on their mobile then GOD save you :P


Alright I didn't used to notice them before BUT since I made a friend who is related to ISI in "some" way since then I started looking around and from that day I noticed that the person who was looking the least suspicious of all was to be an ISI agent for sure. You and I are not able to enough to differentiate but I confirm to you people that, they travel and they will be the ones fitting perfectly in the lot.


These are my favorite type, got a bunch of these in your bus? Rest assured if you are not their victim (meaning the 1st category) then you are DEFINITELY going to enjoy this trip of yours. By Faisalabadis I am not restricting this stereotype to only people living in Faisalabad but since majority of the time it is people from Faisalabad doing this sort of stuff in my experience so I gave the "fun" stereotype this name. (ITS MY BLOG) They are basically going to joke on each other and unsuspecting victims and they will become the life of the bus. Any tension in the bus? they will crack it down
The bus crew troubling? they will get you enough cracks on them
I have sometimes been a part of this group myself as well



These people are just angry over something and they are just looking for a fight, not a major stereotype but a stereotype none the less. These people would be angry and will tell you the story and basically hurl every abuse they knew about the people/thing they are angry on and then will ask "I am speaking right?" and that is the basic point. ALWAYS SAY "YES" , you beg to differ and he will surely bag up your differ and tell you what he feels about you. They are basically a sub stereo type of the talker but they are pretty darn rash and will not care about anything and tell you what they want BY HOOK OR CROOK


Going for two days from your city to elsewhere (for boys only) then what will you pack? 2 jeans, 1 trouser and around 3 t-shirts maximum other than the accessories? Again repeating this question is NOT for girls because they are a part of this stereotype. Then there are people who have 3 suit cases when going for a 2 day trip to somewhere. Women are smart, they know that they don't need to drag their suit cases around one or the other male will do it for them so they travel heavy. Keeping almost all of their household wear with them because for a girl you never know :P . Some men also like to travel heavy like when I was on my way back from Dubai then people had brought SO MUCH baggage that they actually had to place some of the baggage on the empty seats inside the plane because the luggage area was full. Never seen it? I have. 


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Sunday, September 18, 2011

Mysteries Revealed

Heyyyy Allllllllllllll

I am back with my 30th blog. Before I start I need to say something about Indian cricket team. 4 Tests, 1 T20 and 3 ODIs??? Naseer Hussain called you a donkey and you guys felt insulted, someday ask me and I will give you a better name for donkey.

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Now onto the topic, now we have had some pretty amazing mysteries over the years among which there are Aliens, Bermuda Triangle, Lochness monster, Big foot, Mary celeste and many many more but there are some mysteries in the world which have not been given much exposure and people don't know about them much. My blog today will be revealing those mysteries so grab onto your seats.


I am a student and frequently travel in and out of city so I use bathrooms all around and well this is one thing that is beyond me. Why do boys write their own mobile numbers at the back of the doors of male toilets with accompanied messages such as "All girls contact me" or "call me for all girls" . First of all they bring a pen inside the bathroom and furthermore they don't have their brain cells working that no girl will ever enter and see those mobile numbers so why bother writing that and neither will a boy go in, read your number and give your number to the first girl passing by. Sheesh people


Keeping the privacy so blacking out the faces of girls but you get the general idea. Majority of display pictures of girls on different social networking sites and in many other places are taken inside a bathroom. A bathroom? Seriously of all places in the world, a bathroom? They would go on an event like a marriage to a five star hotel and end up taking their picture in the bathrooms.

What is soooooo attractive about this bathroom that girls are bound to take pictures here. Showing off their mobile phones and camera is also another thing they can achieve through this. I mean keeping in the mind the real objective of using a bathroom and comparing it to the girl's use. Nuff Said


The pictures explain it all, the word is basically "SUN glasses" get it? get it? Try and understand the part where the glasses are related with "sun" meaning these things are supposed to be used during day time when the sun is out and is making it difficult for you to see but not at night when it is already enough dark. I am not being racist but the above two pictures explain enough that come on dumbos at least know what you are wearing.


Pindi boys are a huge mystery which people are yet to learn about. They have many attributes that people have never understood of which the following are very famous
1. Driving a Mehran (It has no AC) in June and July with its windows closed
2. Wearing sun glasses when there is no sun
3. Why pindi boys buy clothes which are not bought anywhere else in the world
4. Ride on bikes on 12th Rabbi-ul-Awal
Confused? These creatures are confusing


As Humaima would say in Bol "AGAR ENGLISH NAHIN AATI TAU BOLTAY KYUN HO?" meaning "If you don't know english then why speak it?" This is a major problem especially in Pakistan and India. People are going after english like it is obligatory. We are not proud of our own language and are trying to impress other people so we use a language that we don't properly know and not just ruin our own language but ruin english as well. Urdu and Hindi both are languages which are historically amazing languages and of which we should be proud of and not be basically ashamed of speaking in Urdu or Hindi. By that we can avoid the english that has a "s" at the end of every word. "I amx verys prouds of the boysx" All our cricketers try and speak english and make a fool out of themselves while look at Sri Lankan spinner "Mendis" who doesn't know a word of english and talks in his own language and is respected. If we don't respect our own language then how will we get respected?


Maybe Shaista Wahidi is because I am pretty sure it can't be Sahir Lodhi. Well its pretty confusing because this brother and sister duo have done everything opposite to their respective gender. Sahir lodhi talks, walks, sits and dresses like a girl while Shaista talks, laughs and dresses more like a man. The main fight in Sahir Lodhi's wedding was the people never understood that his "Baraat" came or went? :P


Women might be a mystery themselves because nothing about them is still clear to anyone and there would be just SO MUCH to ponder but one thing always bugs me is that if women are going out and have not a single penny in their purse then when they go into a shop why do they shuffle all the shop upside down.



They don't have to buy anything because they know they don't have a single penny with them but they will still see every single item in that shop. WHY OH WHY??



Faisal Masjid is one of the most beautiful places ever with great fountains, amazing architecture, great ambience inside and outside the masjid BUT its a MASJID. Islamabadis on the other hand have turned it into a picnic point. You will often see families upon families packing their food and coming to eat in Faisal masjid. You will also see girl and boys actually dating inside and outside the masjid which is basically the limit of stupidness and blank headedness that you can ever imagine. Taking pictures around the masjid like it is a picnic spot while it is written everywhere that "PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT ALLOWED" but still people do it. Mystery?? Stupidity?? You decide


Another mystery that today brings to us is why we are so spoiled that even to drink water we will spend 20 rs on a mineral water bottle than clean or even purified water. Alright in some situations where at homes we don't get clean water then mineral water can and should be used but when you have clean and purified water perfectly available for free then buying water is just insane. Buying mineral water to make sure you don't get dehydrated in the middle of January is just an excuse these Mummy Daddy use to drink mineral water. People around us don't have clean free water to drink and we are so spoiled that we will buy mineral water for high prices.


This is the most serious mystery for me and I have discussed this in one of my previous blogs as well but I still can't get no answer to how people just get love for Pakistan for just one day among 365 days. "I LOVE YOU PAKISTAN" is repeated again and again, youth changes their display pictures on facebook and twitter to Pakistani flags and all talks are about bringing a change in Pakistan but once the clock strikes 12 and people go to sleep the next day they wake up with amnesia or like they were drunk for the last day and have come back to their senses. This is the only reason why we are facing all these problems, if we would love our country for one full year then mark my words, we will actually see a change. 

Thatx it from this time 

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Till Next Time
X Y'All

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Worst Movies EVER

Hey Allllllllllllllllllll

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls I am back with another one of my blogs. The response to my blogs has been simply amazing, am at 1 Lakh + views and going at the moment thanks to all of you. Please also show your support by liking this page!

Since I have always been telling people to do good and avoid wrong in different ways this time I consider this my duty to warn each of my readers from the time they can waste watching some movies which , hmmmmm how should I put this in a soft way. Well those movies that SUCK and are a complete waste of time. Now these 10 are among those which I have watched (except one) forced or willingly and am not picking this list from any website. So lets begin with

P.S: This countdown is not in order, all of these movies are supposed to be avoided

10. Gujjar and Rajnikaanth Movies

Mode Of Viewing: FORCED

First thing is first, if you are planning to watch a Gujjar movie a.k.a punjabi Shaan Movie or a Rajnikaanth movie then STOP RIGHT THERE. I have watched a quiet a few of these thanks to Niazi bus service. I dread those times when these movies were played on high speakers in Niazi. Their main story the hero falls in love with the heroin who is ALWAYS the daughter of the villain of the movie. The villain sends hundreds of his men to take care of the hero but one hero may it be Shaan or Rajnikaanth can kill 5 people with just a simple punch, can shoot bullets with their own hands if their gun gets wasted and can shoot around hundreds of bullets from a 9 bullet revolver. They are like the daddies of Super man being a normal man and they can also stop bullets from their chest.

Read this for more, by the way if not then just watch the two videos in this one and then I won't need to say anything more " "

9. Son Of The Mask

Mode Of Viewing: Willing

In this position first I thought of putting Harry Potter and the half blood prince because it was a pretty bad movie which missing A LOT from the book BUT then I remembered this movie and Harry Potter 6 was just EPIC in front of this movie. Creating a sequel to a Jim Carrey movie without Jim Carrey is just enough to describe how sucked up this movie was. Nothing funny, nothing adventurous, NO action and just basically nothing at ALL.

8. The Hurt Locker

Mode Of Viewing: Willing

Alright this movie was pretty much hyped that this movie was amazing and I think it won A LOT of oscars as well so I watched it and after this movie ended I was wayyyyyyy more surprised at how this movie managed to bag that many oscars than I was when Slumdog Millionaire won 8 oscars. No story, no effects, no acting and it was all about a guy waking up and going to dispose of a bomb. Yes it maybe real but the film SUCKED.

7. Muhabbatan Sachiyan

Mode Of Viewing: FORCED

Another thanks to the Niazi bus service that I had to watch this movie. Again the same copied love story, worse acting and pretty stupid songs especially in one the girl is singing that she is in love and can't sleep while the boy actually says that he is sleepy and asks the girl what's her plan. STUPID?? Then in the final fight scene Veena malik is pushed by the villain and she actually rolls over a complete bridge like it was tilted and I don't need any other reason than this that VEENA MALIK is in this movie. The biggest disgrace to Pakistan

6. X-Men 3 : The Last Stand

Mode Of Viewing: Willing

After this movie I thought X-Men had lost my respect but they basically brought some amazing movies after this Origins: Wolverine and X-men 1st class was amazing but this movie was just downright stupid. So much happening and still nothing ever made sense and this super hero flick beats pretty stupid super hero movies like Hulk, Green Lantern & all Super Man movies to enter this list.

5. Tere Bin Laden

Mode Of Viewing: Willing

When this movie ended my face expression were literally like " :-S " , not the curve on that expression. Yes it was THAT big. I personally think that give me 10 times less money than they had and I can make a better movie than this. The acting of Ali Zafar was absolutely stupid and it was like he was taking revenge from the director so that he can make his movie a major flop and BINGO his plan worked. His acting was AWFUL and so was the story.

4. Ghajini

Mode Of Viewing: Willing

Now this movie enters the list because this movie is just a simple insult to Christopher Nolan's master piece that was the Memento. Memento was just a perfect movie with everything right and this movie was the complete opposite. It took huge amounts of gamma radiation for Eric Bana to become the Hulk BUT for Amir Khan it only took a hit to the head. Loosing memory is fine but how in the hell did he become the HULK? So much muscles? So much pure power and all because his girl friend was killed and he was hit in the head. If that is not enough then this guy actually had the time to note and make a complete map of the city and take pictures of everything which even a normal person can't do and he knows. He forgets everything when he sleeps and remembers when he takes of his shirt in the morning and then starts destroying his house and then all of a sudden he knows where to put what because when he lost his memory he was genius enough to label everything in his house. 

3. Watchmen

Mode Of Viewing: Willing

A Super Hero Movie?
An Action Movie?
A Comedy Movie?
A Romantic Movie?
A Suspense Thriller?

WHAT WAS THIS?? What I could extract out of this movie was that it was about a bunch of people who wore pretty weird and colorful clothes and a blue guy. They were supposed to be super heroes by the theme of the movie but they never were found saving the earth instead in the end one of them actually bombed the whole world down and killed millions & billions of people so that they can start all over again?? Really now?? The other super heroes try and resist for a very small time but then give up in the end and combine with the other guy and kill the only one who rejects their idea. It takes pretty huge amounts of an effort to make a movie THIS STUPID

2. Dabangg

Mode Of Viewing: FORCED

The final thanks to the Niazi bus service and I HATE THEM FOR THIS. I had to see this movie twice and once this movie ended the conductor would play its video songs over and over and over again. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Terrible movie, terrible acting, terrible action, terrible dialogues, terrible songs, terrible story and terrible just pure torture. I still don't know how this movie got such a great response and won sooooo many awards beating "3 Idiots" this just shows the amount of illiteracy in Pakistan and Indian people. A literate person will never watch this movie and if you liked this movie and call yourself literate. My friend its about time you reconsider

1. The Twlight Series

Vampires get burned in the SUN and he is enjoying it?


YES Homer, I can feel your pain even though I haven't watched any of this movie. The basic concept of this movie is wrong. First thing is first so stephnie myers let me tell you VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE. One of my friends told me that the real Dracula didn't even took a bath and had hair on his hands and this vampire actually sparkles?? DAMN , I mean sesame street actually managed to make a better vampire than this who was dark and could count too.

What's next Stephnie myers a versace dress wearing zombie?? or a glittering frankenstien?? or worse a Gucci sunglasses wearing Cyclops?? Stop ruining the good stuff people. JUST STOP

That's It For This Time

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Till Next Time
X Y'All