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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Mummy Daddy Phenomenon

Hey Allllllllllllll

It took me lot of time to think of this topic. I was going through a major major writer's block. Every time I thought of a topic then I couldn't think of the material. Many of my friends gave me some awesome topics but I was just blank on them. I even thought of stereotyping girls but that is just tooooooooooooo vast a topic. I can write a book on that instead of a blog. I thought of telling people the top 10 worst movies but waited for some more time. Then just right now I was randomly talking to my friend and he gave me this amazing idea and helped me by giving me the ideas. So here it goes

Now before I start I would like to tell that the research to this topic was basically very very disturbing and depressing and I came to the brink of suicide. I sat lonely in a dark corner listening to Slipknot to bring myself back to life. So I put my life on the line to bring this truth to you people.

The mummy daddy phenomenon basically are the boys/girls who are just tooo soft in this rough world. They are mostly found in modern areas of cities but if I mention them all over the world this topic will become as large. I will restrict myself to the Pakistani mummy daddy people. The majority of them is found in either Islamabad or the very posh areas of Lahore or Karachi. Let me tell you some of their traits

1. WEIRD WRITING

"Yo, I went to dis concerrttt and it was soooo kEWWllll , atif aslam is a rawk star"

Now when you see "kEwL" or "RaWk" then should know that's the type. No normal or even for that matter abnormal person would write scripts like these. Its only the mummy daddy type who can write these kinds of scripts. These scripts can give normal people nightmares if exposed for a long time. True story
Some more examples of the horror script

They even have their own magazines the people featuring in these magazines are their likes, more on that later :P :P


2. SOFTY



"OH MY GOD ITS SOOOO HOT OUT THERE"

When somebody says that in March or April then you have an ultimate mummy daddy before you. They are very soft in speaking, soft in action, soft in eating and soft in strength. All these softness combined and you get a mummy daddy. Roaming around with a "mineral" water bottle in hand to prevent oneself from dehydration in January is one of their trademark moves. Other include
  1. Fake British accent
  2. Avoiding anything oily in food
  3. Diet conscious even if Lahori
  4. Not playing too much sports in sun because of loosing their complexion
& much much more.


3. GIRL OR BOY

For this type you just never know. I mean you could see a boy and call him a dude and get slapped because it turns out he was a girl and see a girl and call her baby doll and get slapped again because she was a boy and the conversion is more female-ish. Meaning both genders resembles girls like in the following pictures it will take at least 10 minutes to differentiate between the guy and the girl if there is any to be honest I can't find any.


Girly hand movements to girly likes (coming ahead, keep waiting) to girly hairstyles for the boys and boys boldness, boys clothes and boys hairstyles for the girls. Some people call them emo but emo is just a stereotype for the bigger picture that is Mummy Daddy. Confusing?? I know I was too. More can be

  1. Tweeting or updating status about watching stars to impress girls
  2. Acting girly to impress girls
  3. Acting boy-ish to impress boys
  4. Tweeting or updating status about the feeling of falling in love
  5. Liking pages like "awwwwwwww I love you" being a boy (supposed)


4. THEIR SPECIAL LIKES

Now ladies and gentlemen please hold onto your seats because today I will reveal to you one of the biggest mysteries of all times and it is

DUN
DUN
DUN

The Mummy Daddy are the community which like Justin Beiber

*gulps*
*screams*

Yes yes people I know, these are exactly the ones who would go
"ohhhhhhhh JUSTIN BEIBERRRRRRRR" at any of his extremely vulgar songs like baby baby ooohh :P

The likes just not end there, they also like Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Sahir Lodhi, Shaista Wahidi and many many more.
I am shivering right now, GROSS PEOPLE

See?? MUMMY DADDY *shivers*


5. WEIRD STYLES & PHOTO TECHNIQUES







NUFF SAID


6. NICK NAMES

Another disturbing trait is their nick naming. They just do it in a very weird way like either writing in script or putting words like prince or princess or cute in their facebook ids. Some can still pull it on twitter but COME ON on facebook just put your own name. Some examples are below

  1. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000852584046
  2. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002544805706
  3. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000537235890
  4. http://www.facebook.com/HEartOoO
  5. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001689646450
  6. http://www.facebook.com/shazi.baba
  7. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001782121260
I think I have made my point

7. PROFESSION

These types can land only few kinds of professions because they can't handle any thing tough because of them being tooooo softy
  1. Fashion designers
  2. Models
  3. Actors & Actresses
  4. Not Rock Stars but Rawk stars
  5. Pop singers
  6. TV hosts
  7. Cheerleaders

See what I meant
Ending with some pictures


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Till Next Time
X Y'All

Monday, August 15, 2011

Revolution (Inquilaab) --> The Misconceptions

Heyyyy Alllllllllll

Today its a serious topic and without any shout outs will go straight to the topic

Another 14th August came by and went away. Boys took out their bikes, removed the silencers and went out on one wheeling adventures, girls made green dresses and wore them, kids had their faces painted and were holding flags, houses were decorated, we sang songs about Pakistan, said "I LOVE YOU PAKISTAN" over and over again, youth changed their display pictures on Facebook and Twitter with Pakistani flags or patriotic pictures and there was no Punjabi, Sindhi, Pathan and Balochi and all I heard about that we are a nation and we will "REVOLUTIONIZE" Pakistan.



Then I woke up the very next day and turned the television on and then I saw Punjabi, Sindhi, Siraiki, Urdu Speaking, Muhajir, Pathan, Balochi & Agency people. All that love gone? Within like eight hours of sleep? Are we Pakistanis for just one day among 365 days? People were wishing everyone Happy Independence Day

I ask are we really really Independent today?
With us being enslaved by America
With us being enslaved by corrupt leaders
With us being as a dead nation as it could be
With us being ordered by everyone

Are we really free? Independent? Are we still Pakistan?

All this talk aside most of the time among the rest of the 364 days what I hear is that Pakistan needs a Revolution, Inquilaab aayega tau kuch hoga (Revolution is the only chance) , Revolution this and Revolution that and this Revolution has become the most abused word in our media and in our day to day conversations. This youth will bring the revolution needed by Pakistan. In these theories the Media and the expertily stupid people talking about Revolution have created misunderstandings. Let me clear them one by one.


1. Revolution = Protest

The basic thing whenever people say is that Revolution is to protest. YES stand up for your rights and go out on streets BUT its not everything. Revolution is actually to bring a change within you and then try and spread that awareness among the people around you and bring the change and then when you are changed yourself then ONLY can you bring the change in the society not like the concept we have that we dislike something, we go out on the streets, break our own stuff, come back home and sleep. This is not revolution and to be honest its not a protest either.

2. Its A One Day/One Week Thing

This is basically the biggest misconception among our people that we will protest today and maybe for two more day and after that Zardari will resign from government, all prices will come down the next day, load shedding will end, Zardari will get himself arrested and he and all corrupt leaders will be taken to court, a new leader will rise and he will tell america to mind their own business and everything will be okay??
THAT IS NOT HOW IT GOES

It was in 1930 when Allama Iqbal gave the idea of Pakistan and after 17 years of hard work and sacrifices did our forefathers achieve this land that we call Pakistan. During those times people gave whatever they could for Pakistan. Today all we want is that if we can make a big enough protest today then tomorrow everything will be alright once again.


3. Revolution Ends After Freedom/Object Completion

This is also a misconception where people think that once the objective of the revolution is achieved all we did can be brought back again. NO. The real revolution starts after the objective is complete because remember as I said before Revolution is the name of bringing a change in one self and if the objective has completed then its because you changed and if you let it go for one day then things will start going back to where they were. This is exactly what happened to Pakistan, our forefathers kept themselves revolutionized but what they forgot to do was to transfer their love for Pakistan to their children (some of them did) and so on and as they first generation of Pakistan slowly died the true love for Pakistan died with them and then started the long destabilization of Pakistan which according to me has reached its peak today.


4. Revolution is peaceful

"Sarfaroshi Ki Tamanna Abb Hamaray Dil Main Hai, Dekhna Hai Zor Kitna Bazooay Qaatil Main Hai"
Translation --> The will of sacrifice is in our hearts now, lets see how much power does the murderer has

As I said revolution is not a protest so protest can be peaceful but revolution is NOT. It can start with protest but it has to go on to huge measures where people would have to lay down their lives so that the future can have a better life. For us the best example is our very own independence, just one incident is enough to quote here that it was the time of Namaaz. One person stood up to give Azaan and just as he had said "ALLAH-O-AKBAR" he was shot down by the British army. This did not stop the others and one more stood up in the martyr's place and continued the Azaan, he too was shot down. This continued till the Azaan was completed. THIS IS WHAT IS NEEDED

People would get themselves arrested for no reason at all so they could spread the protests inside Jails as well. Freedom fighters would dance on the news of them getting hanged. This is revolution when you bring such a change in yourself that NOTHING matters to you except your objective. If not take an example from past then take an example from Egypt's youth. They stood up against the tyrant and it took time but now things are turning their way. They didn't protest just one day, they stood for their rights. People died, got injured but that did not stop them. I salute all the Egypt youth for that step :) . Look at what is happening in Bahrain, the bahraini government is making crackdowns at people's home and killing them, capturing them, torturing them and even denying them of their basic rights to get treated in a hospital but they are not backing down and even in police stations amongst the torture they just want freedom of their nation from the tyrant read more here http://sohaibx.blogspot.com/2011/07/bahrain-real-story.html. THIS IS REVOLUTION

5. This Youth will bring a revolution

Really? Are you serious? This youth?? Who

  1. Does drugs
  2. Drinks alcohol
  3. Can remember long and lengthy Eminem songs but can't remember their own national anthem
  4. Keeps girlfriends & boyfriends
  5. Would lie to their parents for a girl/boy who they know for merely months
  6. Hate studying the history of Pakistan
  7. Would leave Pakistan for a foreign country the instant they get the chance
  8. Go around asking all the time "What has Pakistan given us?"
  9. Who are not even loyal to their own parents
  10. Who can listen to revolution songs but cannot think of going out one day in afternoon and get themselves arrested so they can spread the word in prison
  11. Who would rather tweet about loving Pakistan than actually showing it
  12. On 14th august they go out on bikes like its obligatory
I am a part of this youth and I am as much as a culprit as the others

Singing songs is easy, doing it is the real part. The Bahrain and Egypt youth are the ones who took the step, this youth is just humiliation. Just look at the below video and after that I will have no need to give any further argument regarding this issue. THIS YOUTH WILL BRING A REVOLUTION?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *spits*


video


WE NEED TO CHANGE OURSELVES TO CHANGE THE NATION
A NATION GETS THE LEADERS WHICH THEY ARE THEMSELVES
SO JUST THINK THAT WE ALL ARE ZARDARIS
AND THE ACTUAL PIECE ASIF ALI ZARDARI IS ALL OF US COMBINED INTO ONE
WE ARE THE REASON HE IS UP THERE
SO STOP BLAMING HIM AND CORRECT YOURSELF
STOP WASTING TIME ON CRITICIZING THE GOVERNMENT AND BRING A CHANGE IN YOURSELF
THE FEELING WILL BE AMAZING
I GUARANTEE YOU, YOU WILL BE FREEEEEEEE
THATS ALL FOR THIS TIME

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TILL NEXT TIME
X Y'ALL

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

10 History Moments I Would Like To Change

Hey Allllllll

I am back, my last blog turned out to be a success and thank you all for making July one of the most amazing months for me as a blogger as it turns out in just July I hit the 7,394 views mark and now an over all blog views of 21,509. I never thought that I would achieve this success when I started this blog but thank you to all. I would like all of you to don't Forget To Like The Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/SyedsXtremeShenanigans/ for my blogs and please keep me posted with your suggestions and comments. Please Like it :)

Now to the topic, now there are always some moments in history that you want would go a little differently and then things would be different today. Following are the moments I want to change.


1. May 1941



Now I would like to go to Germany this date and stop Hitler from making the biggest mistake of his life by attacking the Soviet Union instead I will tell him to concentrate on the Jews through his holocaust. With him I will make sure he attacks every Jewish city and country and kill them all as I will become the leader and will control Hitler by my futuristic gadgets like a PSP and Laptop and once he is done I will kill him by my own hands :P

What this will do?
1. Kill Jews and free Palestine
2. Free Lebanon from a war
3. Stop 9/11 because it was all a Jewish propaganda against the Muslims as there wasn't a single Jew in WTC that day.
4. I would finally know the true story on how Hitler died :P
5. I have one more use that will be very very helpful for Pakistan (described later)


2. May 31st 1947
Now we all know about the Love triangle of Lady Mountbatten, Lord Mountbatten and the Jawahar Laal Nehru. Some people say that the love triangle was like this and it should be like this (the arrow and the direction meaning interested in)

Nehru --> Lady Mountbatten <-- Lord Mountbatten

but some historians also state including some quotes by Lady Mountbatten herself (which I can't
quote here) that the love triangle was actually like this

Lady Mountbatten --> Nehru <-- Lord Mountbatten

Which ever is true :P what I would like to do is go back to Pre Partition India on 31st May 1947 just before Mountbatten completed his 3rd June plan of finalizing the maps for both countries I would go and make sure that there is a huge fight between Nehru, Lady Mountbatten and Mountbatten himself something like a breakup which will ultimately make Lord Mountbatten so hurt and angry that instead of helping India he will give all the Muslim majority states to Pakistan and we won't have to go through majority of the economic problems we went through and East Pakistan would still be our lovely part :)

3. March 2 1994

Alright things are going to get ugly from here :P . March 2 1994 is the next date I will travel back in time to London, Ontario one day after the day of the birth of this child. The child mentioned above, I am refraining from using any gender because I don't want another big debate about it :P. I will reach there and make sure that when this baby is in its room and the baby's mother or father is not around I will grab the baby and quickly travel back to my time machine and go to Dubai on 4th July 2010 which is the date of the inauguration of the world's tallest building, Burj Khalifa. There I will tie this baby on the string of one of the fire works of the opening ceremony and then just let it flow........... Muwahahahahahahahahahahahaha


4. 1st August 2010

Now this is a very important, I will go to England on 1st August 2010 and meet Amir and show him the future that lies in front of him if he balls that extremely huge no ball (by purpose or accident) and make sure that he does not do this so that his career is saved which will totally effect Pakistan's cricket in future and will also change the Cricket World Cup 2011 which we lost because we were an Amir short.

5. 1st October 2006





This is very important for this person's career, I will go to London England on this date and warn him and make sure that he DOES NOT sign an eight year contract with Arsenal instead a 4-5 year contract would be enough so that way it would not turn in one of the most craziest transfer sagas ever with Barcelona players attracting Cesc to his home and Wenger trying to keep him away from Barcelona and in the end Cesc deciding to pay 5M on the transfer fee from himself because Barcelona is short of money :P . It will do all Cesc, Barcelona and Arsenal all good :P


6. October 1st 1492
Alright I may have stopped the 9/11 from ever happening by saving Hitler and doing all the work but America still will be their and am not taking any risk. Am going back to October 1st 1942 about 10 ten days before Christopher Columbus discovered the land that turned out to be America. I will scare him off by using my guns I would've borrowed from the Hitler time and make him run in the opposite direction and make him go home. I know somebody else will discover it but it won't be the same America :P


7. 2nd June 2003

Alright Stephenie Meyer said that she got the idea of Twilight in a dream she saw on the night of 2nd June 2003. So am gonna be at her place in that night and when she is sound asleep I will scare her so bad that she won't sleep again that night. I will keep repeating this for the next week just to make sure and since she will go mad after not sleeping for a week my work will be done and I will have saved the world from the curse that is here by the name of "Edward Cullen"

8. 2nd January 2008


I want to do this just to save this man from dying after completing his most LEGENDARY role as the "Joker" in the "Dark Knight" and making that film an absolute major hit so he can get his Oscar himself and also that he can come in the Batman series third movie. AMAZING AMAZING Actor and he was LEGEN - wait for it - DARY ..... LEGENDARY


9. May 24 2010

I just want to go to this date and hours before Paul Grey's death I would kidnap him and preserve his body. Everybody would be thinking that this person won't preserve Quaid-e-Azam's body but he would preserve Paul Grey's body?? Its because Quaid was a leader and if he would disappear people would say that he coward out on his new state and he couldn't handle the pressure of Pakistan which is wrong. Quaid-e-Azam had to die to forever live in our hearts but this man will just disappear and will never be seen again. People would also say why not preserve Isaac Newton or Einstein well for them I would never preserve them because they ruined life as it is. Soooooo many laws and soooo many equations.

PAUL GREY ........ LEGEND \m/


10. 28th July 1955



Alright now I have saved the best one for LAST. Yes people you guessed it by the pictures.........IT IS HIM. He was born on 26th July 1955 but I will go on 28th July 1955 and grab this baby and using my time machine I would go to Hitler's time once again and give this baby to the torture chambers where they would peel his skin, burn him and kill him. Muwahahahahahahahahahahaha

What this would do??

1. Zardari dies --> Isn't this ENOUGH??
2. Ejaz Butt doesn't get power of PCB --> Pakistan cricket saved
3. Rehman Malik never becomes an important person
4. Benazir is still alive and with a better husband
5. Benazir's family is still alive
6. Babar Awan and all Zardari partners never get into action
7. Karachi is safe from the Zulfiqar Mirza's stupid comments
8. Pakistan doesn't go to this level of worse conditions --> Pakistan is saved
9. No more making new provinces
10. No U.S.A , No Terrorists , No Zardari --> JUST IMAGINE :)


That Is It For This Time
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Till Next Time
X Y'All



Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Football Fans : The Stereotypes

Heyyyyyyy Alllllllllll


First things first , Ramazan Mubarak to all of my muslim readers :) may ALLAH shower blessings upon you and your family in this Holy Month.

Now onto the topic, first of all why am I writing this blog. I would've never written this blog to be honest if Barcelona hadn't lost in a friendly to Manchester United. I agree that Manchester United was the better team that day without giving any excuses and Manchester United fans were trying to prove that they are better than Barcelona by beating Barcelona in a friendly without Xavi, Messi, Alves, Puyol, Pique or Mascherano and comparing that to the Champions League Final?? I Mean seriously?? So I decided to describe some fans of some teams and some other types. Now if somebody fights with me after this than he/she knows it that this is the truth and he/she can't handle it.


1. Barcelona Fans


I am talking about the real Barcelona fans the other types come in later. The real Barcelona fans who are not supporting Barca only in CL finals but are also there for Barcelona during the Copa Del Ray losses. Who were there for Barcelona when there were no trophies to boast about. These Barcelona fans are very few, very few indeed. Barcelona & Europe maybe filled with real Barcelona fans but in Asian or African countries like Pakistan, India, China, Egypt and others they are very few. A true Cule will always support his team in thick and thin and most important for a true Cule is the element of respect. A true Cule can be recognized by being the bigger person and accepting the loss without giving excuses and giving respect to the other team which it deserves. Some examples can be the standing ovation Barcelona fans gave to their biggest rivals Madrid or the respect they gave to Van Der Saar after his final match in CL even after winning BUT there is a downside as well because once you are a Cule every other team just looks boring to you. A Cule will NEVER accept the other team is better until unless that team beats Barcelona in a fair match. A real Cule will always have the following traits
1. He/She would consider diving as wrong (May it be one of our own player)
2. He/She would not consider Messi being greater than Barcelona
3. He/She would not forget Johan Cruyff and his services at Barcelona at any point
4. He/She would be a Real Madrid hater without taking respect from some Madrid legends


2. Real Madrid Fans


Again talking about the REAL Madrid fans, to be honest these are some great fans although being fans of my rival team, the REAL madridstas are sportsmen and have the spirit. They hate diving and even boo their own players if they dive and that is why I LOVE when Madrid fans boo Ronaldo when he dives. So as to much that he now mostly dives in away matches :P . Madrid has wayyyyyyyyy more fans in Spain than Barcelona as they are the nationalists. I have nothing but respect for the REAL Real madrid fans, one is even a very good friend of mine. (Other type coming later)


3. Manchester United Fans


Oh Yes lets finally get down to business, now Manchester united has A LOT of fans throughout the world. By A LOT I mean A LOT. When I had to chose a football club then all I heard were Real Madrid and Manchester United fans. Now there are two types of Manchester United fans

A) Manchester United Fans

These are the REAL fans and they are annoying. Manchester united is a great team without a doubt and play good football and I have nothing but respect for Sir Alex Ferguson, Van Der Saar, Scholes & Giggs but these fans are not the greatest. They don't know ANYTHING except that we are right. Manchester United is never wrong according to them even if they loose humiliatingly to a team they will NEVER accept that other team was better and they can make A LOT of excuses. This just comes natural to them and they can fight with you hours without giving sane arguments and never accept that they are wrong. They are a major pain

B) Man U Fans

Now for this part read the upper part and multiply it with 10. These fans are 10 times annoying, 10 times stupid and 10 times fake. These are not real fans and are just following the line "glory glory Man United". I met some Man U fans who didn't even knew that Neville used to be the captain of United, they all said Rio Ferdinand was the captain *head desks* They have no knowledge what so ever and they can give some pretty stupid arguments and sometimes even go against there own team player's views


4. Arsenal Fans


These are the poor needy people of the fan world of club football. They are frustrated, they are desperate and they are hungry BUT if you ask someone in 2009-2010-2011 that which club's fan are you? and he/she replies Arsenal then rest assured that he/she is a true football fan. They have not betrayed their club for whatever times they are going through and always follow this club no matter what and according to me Arsenal is one of those very few very good teams which don't have A LOT of fake fans. I always don't get along with Arsenal fans but the truth has to be accepted and they are football lovers BUT they are also frustrated and poor and they really really need to win a trophy sometimes I think they are like the Amy Winehouse of football fans, frustrated, drunk and needs love but lets hope it doesnt end the same way and they learn something from amy's incident but I have one request to all Arsenal fans


5. Liverpool Fans



The best fans award goes to the Liverpool fans. They have seen the heights with Liverpool and they have seen the low with Liverpool and they will NEVER betray this club what so ever. "You will never walk alone" is their way of expressing love for their club and they always follow it. Liverpool might not be the best team at the moment but according to me they have the best fans atm. Sportsman spirit is complete in them, they accept their defeat like men and they love football. Perfect


6. Glory Hunters


2002 - 2006 --> Real Madrid
2006 - 2009 --> Manchester United
2009 - 2011 --> Barcelona

These are the times when the respective teams earned huge success and had all star players now this is the time when Glory hunters come in which are always there to become a fan of the team which is having the best seasons and winning trophies so all they have to do is support a team through its thick and leave that team once its reaches its thin. These days its Barcelona, everywhere you go Barcelona shirts and all and they don't know a thing about Barcelona, when the match will take place, when and how they won in the season. They know that they won :P and thats all that matters to them. Pakistan and India are filled with these glory hunters and they also play a huge part in giving the other football fans a bad name. These people can rant all day stupid and a lot of other stuff.


7. Individual Fans
You are not a madrista

Now this is very important, remember if you love Lionel Messi it is NOT necessary that it makes you a Barcelona fan as well. You will just remain a messi fan , If you changed your club from Manchester United to Real madrid because Cristiano Ronaldo changed his club then neither you were a manchester united fan and nor have you become a madrid fan now, you will always just be a Shittiano Ro-Naa-Laado fan. Great players always have these and these people try and link themselves with the club as well. Sorry people you are neither Culeans, Gunners, Madristas, Red Devil or anything. You are just that player's fan. Majority footballers in Pakistan fall in either this or the above category and they give a bad name to the Real fans of that team.

Till Next Time
X Y'All