Creeps: The Stereotypes

Hello Everyone

Its time, I am back! Its been ages since I wrote a humor blog, the last one being wayyy back in January. Mechanical engineering degree was in its final moments and now its complete :) THANK GOD! I am officially an Engineer now :)

First things first! I finally hit the 1 LAKH ALL TIME VIEWS POINT! So I decided to make a facebook page for my blog cause even my fridge has one! So go and hit like here " http://www.facebook.com/SyedsXtremeShenanigans "

Now let's get to the topic. Girls from all over the world have been a target for perverts on social networking websites. While some "abnormal" girls actually enjoy this crap, I contacted the "normal" ones and asked them to share their experiences with me regarding perverts sending them messages over social networking websites. The results ..................... Well the top 10 I found are below!

Note: I am erasing the name of the girls but not erasing the name of the guys!

1. The Fraandship Me

 These are the basic types, asking girls all the time for Fraandhips and accepting their request. Even to the extent that they even keep asking girls to add them on Twitter. *Face palms*


2. The Despo Routine

Hasnat Ali here is showing a perfect example of desperation. He shows that he is in desperate need of a friend like all the boys in the world just died yesterday and only this girl can fulfill the void that is his life now without a friend and within this he also puts words like "Hook up" and "night stand" , lets all stand up for this genius.

3. The Suggestion Maker

Now he is the guy who is trying to suggest his way into a girl's friend circle and one thing we all know is that girls HATE suggestions. Plus this guy is totally opposing what he is saying while saying that jeans suits her in the first comments and later asking her not to wear jeans. We have a short term memory loss genius at our hands.

4. The Nice Guy

How to get a girl to become your friend? SIMPLE! Show her that you are a nice guy and my friend over here is trying this, introducing his name like his profile doesn't show it already and assuring that he is a nice guys over and over again. Seriously? If it worked then tell me too.

5. Straight To The Point

Here our friend is going straight to the point and is sooooo honest, even telling her right away that he likes her sooo much but well not honest enough to show even his own name or profile? He names his profile LIFE? Where we all tell him that he should get one instead.

6. The Lover

Now this guy hot soooo heart broken that he actually had to delete his facebook account after the rejection from this girl! These people show that they have totally fallen for the girl and can't be more helplessly in love and if you ask them what love is. They will surely answer "Jo Amir Khan ko Kareena Sey Huwa Tha In 3 Idiots" SHEESH!

7. tH3 g3n1u$ p1nD1

It took me hardly 5 minutes to write the complete blog but it took me a whole minute to write just the title of this one. The Pindi boyses know their shit when its comes to writing like the guy has written above. Its just v3Ry $sPh1sTiC@t3D !!!

8. The Nelson Mandelas

After what he has said, do I need to say more??

9. The Sympathy Votes

His friend is sick and all he is doing is going around messaging girls on facebook while he talks about his friend in only 30% of the message and in 70% he is actually talking to the girl


10. The Emotional Blackmailer

These people try and emotionally blackmail the girls into sending just one message. Clever girls don't fall for it and they end up deleting their accounts from Facebook. 

After all these I am soooo glad that I am a guy and don't have to deal with this crap every single day. My heart goes out to all the girls out there who have to deal with this crap day in and day out. Ending this blog with some honorable mentions of messages that I also want to show to my readers :)

The Shair! (Poet)

The Vulgar! (but a genius reply)

Seriously?

He shows that he hates her but still he couldn't restrain from messaging her!

Trying to be Sarcastic! (Fail)

Thats it for this time!

Again please like my new page!
http://www.facebook.com/SyedsXtremeShenanigans

Till Next Time
X Y'All

Stalking 101

Heyy Alll

Stalking is an art that has been misunderstood by people around the world. It is basically research on people (girls and boys) that has been misinterpreted as spying and now even as a crime. 

As thefreedictionary.com defines stalking as "To pursue by tracking stealthily".

Stealth is considered to be one of the most amazing traits one can have in one's arsenal and if stalking is the prime part of stealth then how can stalking be wrong. Some perverts around the world have just used this art wrong and have given it a bad name. Just like weapons which were used to ensure world peace are now being used as weapons of destruction. The same way stalking has been misunderstood!

Today on behalf of Bilal and I we would like to teach you the art that is stalking.

DISCLAIMER: This course is not for those perverts who will just use these things to search for girls on social networks and search for their pictures. Stalking is an art and it should be given its respect

1. Constant Vigilance All Times

The first and foremost point towards being a good stalker is simple! You have to be vigilant at all times. You can't wait around and let a target come to you. Sometimes you can miss the best of targets if you don't stay vigilant. This is not the same kind of research that you can always come back and find the same. This research changes and updates with time and we have to keep up to the speed of this.

2. Print Screen Is Your Friend

The button on your keyboard that is printed with the letters "PrntScr" is your friend. This maybe not as helpful as a formulae sheet in an exam but sometimes it can come out to be very handy as the evidence in a research.

3. Social Networking Stalking

Now these days the main stalking is happening on facebook and twitter cause basically all of the people are using either of these two networks. The more hidden people use facebook while the more open ones use twitter and those who are leading a double life use both regulalry (including me :P) 

a) Facebook Tickr

The search bar of Facebook is good but for that you have to be in the professional stalker zone to use the search bar efficiently. For this amateur course of stalking I will advise all to be "constantly vigilant" and have an eye on the Facebook tickr. This tickr can let you easily stalk your targets if they are in your friend list. Every activity they do is available on your tickr. They make like pages that will show a lot about them and you can use all this in your research about them. An example can be below where "ONE" of my friends liked a page and was caught :P (Name removed)

b) Tweetdeck

Again searching through Twitter bar takes a lot of practice and I would adivse the beginner stalkers to start with the application Tweetdeck which is available for PCs and Androids. This is the application that will help you find tweets, mentions and followers very easily and quickly as compared to browser Twitter. Got you research project on Twitter? This is the best start to find anything he/she does on twitter. You can even dedicate a coloumn to just their activities. (This part is STRICTLY not for perverts)

4. Google Search

Now sometimes (very rare) do you need to search outside Facebook and Twitter to research for your "Research project" and this is a very amazing tool for research in all fields but it can also be used for researching individuals but this is a very pro level tool and should only be used by professionals or under strict supervision of professional stalkers. Google can take you places but only if you know the right way to use it.

This is it for the first course. I would await all you new stalkers out there to try this and leave feedback and if you want to enroll for regular course then please contact either me or Bilal on twitter

Me --> @SohaibX512

Bilal --> @shbilalm

Till Next Time

Don't Forget To Like The Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/SyedsXtremeShenanigans

X Y'All