Main Metro Hun, Main Zaroori Hun! (Poem)

Asalam o Alikum Everyone!

So I am back with a post and since this is on metro bus and also the fact that only Pakistanis will understand it so I will post parts of it in Urdu as well as English.

So after being tortured, beaten and bruised by the construction of this so called "METRO BUS" for almost more than a year now, I argued with some PML (N) supporters about the use of this bus, arguing that Electricity, Water, Gas, Education, Terrorism are much much MUCH bigger problems that needed to be solved as soon as possible instead of wasting money and material on a bus that can be saved for later. Not that its not a helpful project but it can be delayed at the moment. All the supporters said "INFRASTRUCTURE IS IMPORTANT"

OKAY! So Infrastructure is important. Fine! But what about the existing Infrastructure? Is it perfect? Is it perfect enough to the government to build new? Let's have a look shall we? A little poem I wrote, It doesn't rhyme in many places but aah well, I am no Ghalib!

Airport Jaati road par 2 2 inch key garhay hain

Gaariyan neechay lagti hain, baar baar jhatkay lagtay hain

Magar iss par koi nazar nahin, tou mei bhi aankh pher leti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

IJP Road hai jahan hazaaron gaariyan chalti hain

Din main har waqt rush hota hai, raat bhi non stop chalti hain

Magar iss road par aik bhi light nahin, iss baat pey kaan naa dharti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

Dharno nay kiye saaray karoobaar band, hakoomat cheekh cheekh kehti thi

Laugon ka nuqsaan huwa hai, press conference kar key kehti thi

Saal sey blue area ka business tabah hai, iss baat pey kaan naa dharti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

Lahore ko Paris bana liya abb Barakahu ki baari hai

Shehbaz Sharif nay Josh-e-Khitabat main aisi bhi chuss maari hai

Bijli, gas, paani, roads sab tabah magar, iss baat pey kaan naa dharti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

Expressway key baad hai highway aata jahan laakhon laug rehtay hain

Puray highway par aik bhi light nahin, ghup andheray main jaatay hain

Metro ki lights din main bhi chalti hain iss baat pey kaan naa dharti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

Aik saal sey khuwaar huay hain, traffic jams main phans phans kar

Metro bannay waali hai bas iss maheenay main sun sun kar

6 deadlines guzar chuki hain iss baat pey kaan naa dharti hun

Nawaz shehbaz kehtay hain main metro hun, main zaroori hun

That's it for me for this time

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Adios!

The Day I Was Taken Hostage

Asalam o Alikum

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So, if you are on the page, you would know that I was held on gun point by two robbers for one hour and robbed of my stuff. Thanks to ALLAH that my life was spared at the end. Having a platform, I would like to share my experience. 

So I was walking towards my gym from a bakery after buying pastries for my niece's birthday. On the way I passed by when two people on bike confronted me, with one on my front and one who had a gun in his hand covering me from the side. They asked me to silently move into the alley next by showing me and shoving me with the gun again and again. When I obliged they took my mobile, my laptop bag and while taking it one of them punched me in the face. I was still in shock mode since I had been walking in that area since almost half a year now. Then he head butted me too trying to administer all the scare tactics he knew and believe me it was working fine. Then he took my purse, I got some senses back and asked for my NIC card and Driver's license as it was of no use to them and they were gonna throw it anyway, so they were gonna return it but with my bad luck they saw the ATM card and wanted more money out of me if they hadn't drained me enough. So on the force of gun point they made me sit on the bike in between both of them like a fried chicken patty between two buns and they started their journey towards a bank. There were banks nearby but it was a public area so they couldn't risk me shouting and them getting caught or in their words "Them shooting me and escaping" because obviously in all this time they had started caring for me :P

Anyway! We moved towards more uninhabited areas which were quiet far and went on bike for almost 20 minutes during the time they told me that if I didn't do anything silly I will be left alive while if I do then things will happen that happened to other people before me, basically using scare tactic, there they finally found a bank. he took my ATM card, asked my pin and went, luckily he gave the wrong pin 3 times and my ATM card got blocked. After that he tried in 3 different banks but to no luck. During the time one went to get the money out of the bank, the other stayed with me trying to talk to me and have a conversation because of course we had become best buddies after all. He told me where they were going, how forced they are to do such things, plus used further scare tactics. After all was in vain, they sent me into 4-5 banks to get the money out with one person accompanying me at all times but since the ATM card was blocked so no transactions were possible. They got tired maybe after that because obviously it was a very tiring work looting someone of their hard earned stuff and they decided that laptop, mobile and the money in my purse were enough. So they dropped me, took my stuff and gave my purse and keys back and left.

Before I continue further, I would like to Thank ALLAH again and again for saving my life.

It was a very scary experience after it happened and whenever I told people they shared their own stories of themselves or others they knew and I got to know that what has happened to me, happened to thousands and thousands of others and happens to many everyday. The ticker we used to read on our news channels were of different people who maybe tried to protest with the robbery. 

The robbers who robbed me also recited the Kalma (Sentences describing a Muslim's belief) two to three times in order to convince me that no harm shall come of me IF I don't do anything stupid. After all this happened my mind wandered on this incident a lot and thought that Yazid had similar beliefs, he also used to recite the Kalma but then he also drank alcohol, he did drugs, he killed Hazrat Imam Hussain's (A.S) family and made the women and children captives. Are we muslims following Yazid's path now?

The two items that I lost were my mobile and laptop! My laptop which I dearly loved and was my partner in crime. I took him along where I went. My FIFA partner, my everything. I miss you :'(

I have no message for the robbers. Maybe if you read this, I say that may you leave this path and go towards more good things in your life. I wish you a successful life (NOT IN THIS CAREER) but in a honest and good deeds one.

Till Next Time!

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The RoomMate From Hell!

Guten Tag!

The blog has finally arrived

The day has finally arrived

My old room mate (Yes to all those who don't know, I am a hostellite) moved out in the start of January. I spent almost eight and half months with that guy. All the people on my facebook and twitter ( @SohaibX512 ) know how much I used to whine about him. 

Today I take this oppurtunity to describe to you "him"

1. Introduction

Name: Noor Ullah

Age: Above 30

Status: Married With Three Children

Employer: In Some Pak-Iran Gas Company

While the rest information you can take in from the snapshot I once took of his facebook ID when he used my laptop for sometime!

So that gives QUIET a start about his "state" to you people but let me continue. 

P.S: He lives in Lahore but now in Islamabad and is from Karachi!

P.P.S: YES! He is married :P

2. Snoring

This guy was a LOUD snoring machine. I am posting a video which will say it all

P.S: The sounds in the background are of the fan and the cooler and you can still hear him. Imagine sleeping with him in a quiet night of winters with no fans or cooler to bar that sound!


3. Alarm Tone!

What is the MOST disturbing Alarm tone you have heard in your life? Now multiply that with ten, square it, subtract 50 and multiply it by 25 after integrating it with initial condition of x = 25. I searched and I searched days and nights and I bring to you. The ringtone of the Satan himself

Again! Imagine a silent room in the winters in the morning you just slept two hours ago after working at the project all night and are all cozy in your blanket when all of a sudden! *hit the play button*

4. Privacy Issues

Well for all he was, he was a bit too open! Well to be really honest? WAYYYYYY TOO OPEN! He used to talk to his wife all the time in front of me and having a loud voice naturally those conversations would even break the barriers I would try to put on his privacy by wearing ear phones. 

I have a soft spot for Bhabhi (His wife) because the way he fought with his wife all the freaking time. Every time scolding her for the stuff that she didn't even do, trying to make her jealous by telling her stories of girls from office who were flirting on him, always blaming her family and there were hundreds of times I wondered how she bears with this guy. Then again he just didn't fight with his wife, he fought with his mom, his dad and even with the television sometimes.

5. His Pros

Well anyone can't be ALL bad. He had two very good habbits where one was that he was clean all the time and kept the place nice and the second was that he loved food and brought stuff to eat and shared it with me all the time. Remembering the one time when at 2 am he felt hungry and ordered a Pizza for both of us :'D

In the end I would wish him well for his future life

If you are reading this Noor Bhai I am a humor blogger man :P Cut me some slack! You were some great material :P

You sir were a pain but one that I will surely remember for a lifetime.

My first ever room mate!

Ending with a picture of him ...... well let the picture do the talking (censoring for obvious reasons) :P

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X Y'All